Being Human First with Mike Vacanti

TUCP Intro/Outro: 00:00:08

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach Podcast conversations from being inspired by the book, The Ultimate coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being. And your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be, it is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from be

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:00:48

Hello, today, I'm here, interviewing Mike Vacanti. I'm actually not reading your bio, but I'm going to share my experience of you. Right. You are a creator of bringing humanity together. And we first met through your mission of humans first. And which I chose to become an ambassador for and I see you as who you're being in the world is the bringer of hearts back to oneness. Would you agree that that's accurate? Yeah. I

Mike Vacanti: 00:01:33

love that. I mean, it's it's it's powerfully focused. And thank you for seeing that.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:01:41

You're welcome.

Mike Vacanti: 00:01:43

You know, there's so much that we learned along the journey, right. So I'm sitting here with my gray hair right now. And, you know, many life experiences many career experiences. There was one point I was interviewing for a job, Cordelia. And the interviewer said, Mike, you kind of look like a Job Hopper. And what I said back is, that's for under achievers, I've had five different careers.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:02:13

I love that. Wow.

Mike Vacanti: 00:02:18

You know, the jobs don't define us. I don't think our careers define us, but continually learning to become a better person to become a more full version of ourselves along the journey, I think is the greater challenge and certainly the greater reward.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:02:40

Absolutely. I love the reframe on that. You know, I even think for people starting out, right, the the people who may still be in their 20s or 30s, you know, who have had maybe three or four different positions? Definitely, it can be said that that's different careers, right there. They're looking at their options and their choices, you know?

Mike Vacanti: 00:03:11

Yeah. You know, it's often been said to me, throughout my life, you know, the many years is that, boy, Mike, you really think out of the box. And I do believe that it's easy, because I've never been in a box. I've resisted people building containers around me. And it's been painful to resist that building of containers that letting others define me. Because I'm still trying to grow and understand and find the definition for myself. And I think that's a lifelong journey. The uniting of hearts I, I do believe you know, the first mission of humans first was to ignite and accelerate a shift in business culture, to value humans first. And what that became what it morphed into was opening hearts and opening minds. Our belief systems, whatever those are, and they can be varied and they're all beautiful, but we're, we're seeking a path to a greater understanding and many lives. We're seeking a path to understanding our place with the divine, and whatever that means to each individual person through our, our ancestry and our inner history and our choices. And I don't believe there's one path I don't believe there's one way of doing things. If there was would we have already found it? And Wouldn't we all be on that? Learning to Bliss. And so I think we're still in a discovery phase and the opening hearts and opening minds is an encouragement for us all to embrace that pursuit. And the pain and the challenges that go with it, right? Because that helps define the joy. And the accomplishment.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:05:23

Yeah, I really agree and resonate with that, Mike. And that's why, you know, like, one of the things I declare about myself is that I'm the bridge between genders, cultures and religions. And I see that in you. And that's, that's how, you know, that's what lights you up. And that's why I invited you, right, because this was our first time meeting in Arizona, I invite you to the ultimate experience, because I love you know, like, how you're being in the world. And I also invite you to, to read the book. So I'm just wondering, like, how has, you know, having that experience reading the book? How has that changed or aligned with what you are who you already are being?

Mike Vacanti: 00:06:17

Yeah, I, I thank you, first of all, for inviting me in, because you are along that path of exploration, it was lighting you up and, and for you to be so gracious in sharing that. And inviting the end, I did read the book. And we had the experience together and in Arizona. And because I read the book, and because I like to try to discipline myself to go into every environment with an open mind. I feel like I was really present and taking it in. And, and it was this beautiful expression of others experiences. And it felt like a system of Hope was being delivered to everybody in the room all of us present. And that was my great takeaway from the book is, you know, while Steve has expressed his journey, and the and the many that benefited from, from that work, those experiences with Steve and with each other, those stories were shared so, so beautifully. But again, it's not a 12 steps to happiness, the you know, eight foundations to solve all the world's problems, the five beliefs that will never fail you the, the three this for that. And right, we're pattern to believe that there's some simple formula. And and again, I don't believe that to be true, I think that this life journey is beautifully unique for each one of us. And we're not encouraged to embrace that. However, I do believe in the ultimate coach, it is to find that inner strength, to be empowered with our own beliefs, and then go out and share that and and be resolved in that journey, in our discovery in our learning, be confident in our teaching and sharing and elevating others, and keep that the mission. And so it was never a you know, pass a course, take the TAs get their certificate and go out and wave it around and see if somebody will pay for that. It was a become the best you can be at this moment with the skills and the knowledge and and the understanding you have. And just be bold in expressing that and sharing that out for the benefit of others. And so it really is this commitment to lifting others that resonated, you know, along with what I really believe my mission is.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:09:20

Yeah, I love there two words in there that really stuck out for me, and it's the being resolved. And the commitment. No, I definitely see that. It is really the commitment to being resilient as you're being courageously as you're courageously going along your journey, right. And yeah, tell me more. Tell me more about that.

Mike Vacanti: 00:09:56

Yeah, I mean, I think of, you know, you and I are parents to multiple children, there's a, there's a, there's a, a team, a big team, when we combine. So when we think of that, there certainly are good foundations to parenting, and we get to understand them and choose them for how we're going to embark on that journey. And then, you know, life happens, and each individual child has different needs, and our family structures and systems are different. And so we, we adapt, and we continue to learn, and, you know, the best of us, that our parenting, read the situation, like, you know, there isn't one best way to parent because, you know, the children are different, they have different needs. We can't, you know, for me, kid one and Kid five have different trajectories. And so how do we listen and learn what their skills are, what, what, you know, sparks them, what lights them up, and, and, and keep nurturing that, right? Then somehow, then we step out of the family, and we go to work, and we look at our colleagues, and we look at systems around us, and it becomes this one thing. And, and we want to fit everybody into the box. And there's this belief of, it's easier if we create sameness, we have to level the playing field. And, you know, with my five children, it wasn't the same playing field for all five of them, it was never level, and they certainly are not the same. And I think we have the chance to apply that to all we do. But we miss that opportunity. It's like we operate with two different belief systems. And we don't understand the conflict in there. And that conflict, I think, you see, we see that unfold in front of us with mental health, physical health, stress, anxiety, anger that's projected out to others or into our family. All right, and and it's, you know, it's just that greater awareness, it's emotional intelligence, the vulnerability of, oh, my gosh, I have no idea what I'm doing I, I better try to figure out how to act in the best possible way in this situation, and be willing to forgive ourselves when we fail. Because we get to try again.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:12:42

You know, that is so I love that you brought parenting into this. And I love the way you explain the incongruence that we live in, and we normalize. And then we wonder why our organizations are not working well, and why mental health is such a big problem and why, you know, nobody has emotional intelligence. It's like you literally every single day are like playing on one field and then going and trying to put yourself in this box. And it's just like discombobulating, you know, right.

Mike Vacanti: 00:13:19

Right. You know, imagine, and I feel this from you, Cordelia, that, you know, we're both on this path of discovering is, I'm here. I'm here for you. And so much of what we see is I'm here, I'm here for me get out of my way.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:13:38

Yeah. And in the, in the, you know, I was reading an article about this, you might have seen it on LinkedIn the other day, and like the, the individuality, right? That that encouragement is really a discouragement of a greater collective consciousness and an elevation of humanity. You know?

Mike Vacanti: 00:14:05

Yeah. You know, that elevation of humanity, I think, is something really, you know, simple, rudimentary, but imagine we go into a public building, right, a public place, and we get on the elevator to, to attain that elevation, right to a higher place. And we look around and it's like, this is my elevator, get off my elevator. It's like, well, we're going to share the elevator. And how about we acknowledge that we're on this journey together, and we wish everybody to get to that same place where going off where they will, they they desire, they have free will, you know, even in that simple metaphor, we miss it. We kind of look around, it's like, Oh, you people are in my way. It's crowded in here. What are all of you doing? You know, I wish I was by myself. And,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:15:01

and what if we would all be in that elevator acting like me and Mike and being like, Hey, what's up happy morning? And like raising the vibration as we're going to whatever floor we're supposed to be on that day. Yeah,

Mike Vacanti: 00:15:18

yeah, that I wish for you that you get to where you're going. Or we, we, we have that opportunity. And, and I think sometimes we get lost in a lot of the complexity and the noise and, and the complexity is growing. And the noise is becoming louder. And I think what I really liked about the, the experience of the ultimate coach and and our experience together in Arizona live is that it was it was it was positively bass, right? The negative noise is very, very loud, and we think it's predominant, because it's so loud, or bad, is very loud. God is quiet. It's peaceful, it stays in us and, and, and I think that's a great opportunity. And I see that in the coaching that you're doing now. And that others with the ultimate coach and and those that I think our operating more enlightened, are being loud about the good. And, and overcoming that perception of doom and negativity. We don't want to believe that's true. And actually, it's not true. It's just what we hear and experience. So we're gonna make a choice about that. And I'm really grateful for the choice you've made and how you're raising your voice and lifting others, helping them get to the floor. They're supposed to be on or they're there. They're looking to attain, right. It's a it's a fun metaphor to play

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:17:16

with. It really is, you know, it's raising ourselves to the frequency of joy.

Mike Vacanti: 00:17:22

Yeah, yeah.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:17:25

Yeah. So I'm curious like, really? What? What sparked your I see you're doing things a little bit differently here. Speaking of joy, and you're your pickleball Ball fan now. Right? What created that spark for you?

Mike Vacanti: 00:17:47

Yeah, yeah. Pickleball caddy? Oh, sorry. Let's be accurate. That's a funny thing. Like, who would have ever thought I'd find a new activity at this point in my life and just be all in on it. But it feels good. Yeah, and it's relative, isn't it? I'm the greatest here little kid on the planet.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:18:13

You and Steve? Yes.

Mike Vacanti: 00:18:17

So we're down in Florida, right? We had the house fire. And so we were displaced for that period of time. And let's slow

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:18:24

down with that for a minute. Like, recognize that you lost your house and a major fire. And I think that day, we were in the middle of a human's first event, right.

Mike Vacanti: 00:18:35

I was sitting in this chair. It was early in the morning. It was like, you know, 6:30am and we had been in the call for a half an hour already. And people were sharing videos and, and, and their experiences. It was this global audience. We were all you know, probably the most diverse group that could ever be attracted. They, they, they were self identified. They weren't recruited. It wasn't promoted. It was just an attraction. And amazing thing and so we're, we're having that. I think it was a two year celebration at that. Yeah. And my internet started flickering. And and it's like, well, what is going on and then it went out Cordelia right over here. There's a circuit breaker down in this and so I went over there and started flicking it's like come on electricity figure this out. And my wife is upstairs in our office up there and she's she's working and yelled up you know, hey is your internet working and and 10 seconds later she came you know, racing down the steps that we have to get out of the house there's a fire something sparked on the garage wall and it and it started but by the time we got out dark smoke was billowing out of the top of the house and and the the one wall of the house also is already consumed and going up into the roof and burning into our bedroom. So we lost about a third of the house to the fire. And then the water damage and putting out the fire got the rest of it and what didn't get destroyed from water or fire was destroyed by the smoke. And so we were out of the house for 51 weeks while they had the year Mike Yeah, a year. And they, they had to tear it apart and and rebuild from whatever healthy bones you know, remain. So the whole thing was gutted, it was just it was it was a shell. And it was a journey. And it was a part time job through that whole thing. And here's an interesting takeaway from me and, and a new life experience and a new life lesson that I don't know how this got here from pickleball. But we'll get back to it,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:20:56

we're gonna get back to pickleball. But I it's very important that you share the story because I love who you became out of this.

Mike Vacanti: 00:21:04

Yeah. So that day when the fire was settled, and we were, you know, grabbed a couple of possessions because our closets burnt out, like there was there was little left of stuff to take. You know, we grabbed some photo albums and stuff like that out of unaffected and took off to my daughter's house. I experienced anxiety for the first time in my life. I had, I had never experienced it. So I I know many people that have experienced it. I've listened to them, I've helped them through that journey, whether they were working for me or they were friends. It was common. So I was aware, trying to be empathetic. But I now can share that personal experience of what does that anxiety feel like? It's very real is uncontrollable, mentally try to contain it. Following that, things just didn't feel right. I wasn't, I wasn't feeling full. I wasn't feeling complete for a time after that. And we went down to Florida for like seven weeks, the first trip, came back for the holidays, and then went back for another five weeks. We have a house down there. So, you know, fortunately, we had a place to be. It was a pandemic, my wife was working remotely. So So we had that flexibility. But it was when I started feeling better months later, that I realized that I had just spent a few months in a depression. I had never experienced depression, I didn't know what it was. And I and I could not understand that I was there until I was coming out of it. And to me, that was a ha it was a it was a big moment of understanding because it helped me listen and see people more clearly that, you know, we hear the phrase that, you know, everybody has a journey or a challenge that we know nothing about, right? And we or we don't see that. But I had been through it personally anxiety for the first time, a bout of depression for the first time and not even because it wasn't part of me, right. And so either way, I'm going to recognize it until I was feeling better. It's like what was that I just went through. And we talked about that in a previous conversation recently right? As you know, the lotus flower grows in the muck of, of, of an environment and and oftentimes we go out and we meet at the flower and we talk about the mock we're standing in right and and and then we leave and then we come back to discuss it again we meet at the lotus flower stand in the mock and somehow that's uniting and and I think that journey that you're on the journey I hope I'm on with people. And I think as reflected in the ultimate coach book is we want to walk past the lotus flower admire its beauty, like kick through it and get to the other side. Those are the good coaches. And I think so much of the environment of coaching is I can meet you I also was depressed and so let's get together the lotus flower and talk about depression will just stay here. Standing in the right call stuck. And, and that's not the way to live. The power is helping others get through to the other side and actually see the beauty of that journey. And, and I learned that, you know, outside of, you know, some academic understanding, I learned that from experience even this late in life, and you know, I have to embrace that as a gift. And so I stopped doing a lot of the things that I was doing before. And, and in stopping, I had more time. And when we're in Florida, it's like, now that I have time, I need to find an activity. And right now, the way I'm feeling coming through this depression, a physical activity would be a good thing. So I went and watch these people play this game called pickleball, I'd heard about it. And I after watching them play, it's like, why I think I want to try that. So I went to the store grabbed a pal showed up the next morning. And I've been playing for about a year and a half now and, and playing very, very frequently.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:26:26

Like, it's an addict, because I'm an addict,

Mike Vacanti: 00:26:29

and, and then there's this whole thing about, I don't have skills, I'm going to build the skills. And, and there's no perfection in it. It's, it's, you know, reaction to everything around and so that that athleticism that that gaming is something I've always really enjoyed. And it's been a nice place to, to go and be social, and laugh and tell stories and hear from people and get to know people and be active. So that that's how I became a pickleball. addict.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:27:06

And it was a gift of your depression, I would say that, right? The gift of depression is joy. And this is something that is accessible to everyone, you know, as I'm listening to your story about losing your house and being homeless for 51 weeks, a year. And, also, you know, the, the gratitude you have for the fact that you happen to have another house in Florida, right. So that you were able to not you were already outside of your comfort zone, but how you were being through all that, you know, right? And able to find the gift and all of that. Although, right as I'm listening to you also he'll hear that it was very incidental and accidental. And you just kind of let me just see, you know, and I also find it very interesting that you've gone from being like a hockey player, right to something that's a warm weather. So at this late stage in your life or new beginning in your life, you found your joy, a different way.

Mike Vacanti: 00:28:27

Yeah, and usually stays right. I'm definitely in the third period, there's no question about that. You know, what's fun is that I'm still exploring, I'm still learning, and I'm trying to share what that feels like long journey, right? And so instead of becoming more rigid, in those beliefs, I'm taking the experiences and letting them inform the development of, of have expanded beliefs. And in so eliminating the beliefs that no longer serve. And that that weeding out of, of, I think, unconscious or just handed over or or adopted beliefs without reevaluating and choosing the beliefs as has really been something that I feel can be shared, to influence others to, to challenge what's around them to challenge how we see things and seek something that we would we would dream about, we could envision I don't think we're encouraged to do that enough.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:29:55

Yeah, we're not and we recreate All that muscle memory, you know, actually, it rewires the brain, you know? Yes. Yeah.

Mike Vacanti: 00:30:09

The hard part is eliminating anything from our lives, right? Somehow, you know, many of us I, I believe we kind of become collectors. And it's, it's, it's not all stuff like, you know, I made a bunch of money, and I went out and bought beautiful things and look at all my things are greater than your things. There's certainly some of that, right. The comparison and envy is its own illness. Illness, I'll say that again. Illness,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:30:39

it is an illness. And I would say it's right up there with mental illness, you know? Yeah.

Mike Vacanti: 00:30:45

And we also collect stuff from the outside we collect institutional beliefs, we collect limitations, we collect views of others as, as defining parameters for our lives.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:31:05

Okay. Mike, go ahead. Come on. Tell us about ourselves preach.

Mike Vacanti: 00:31:14

And I think that just like becoming a minimalist, in our, in our physical lives, there's this calling of things no longer needed, in our emotional lives in our spiritual lives, that, that it's it's uncommon to do that hard work, unless people are forced into some very traumatic situation. Whether it be in addiction or whether it be, you know, a family fire, yeah, many hardships, right hardships people go through in that culling of those unneeded systems, those unneeded beliefs, the limitations in our lives, I think they become anchors, and and it's painful sometimes to sever those connections. It's a great opportunity. Right, the, the identifying to choosing and letting go. Is, is part of the process. I think it's helpful. We can't drag all of the stuff from all of our experiences along with

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:32:40

us for decades and decades. Yeah. At some point it has, we gotta let it go. Yeah, yeah. And the invitation is to reinvent how you're being, and just be who you are at your core without all the conditioning that you've, you know, and all the energy of others that you've been collecting. Right?

Mike Vacanti: 00:33:09

It's amazing, clearly, because we hear the word responsibility, right? And it's like, oh, no, no, I, you know, I resist that to some degree or, or I don't want that forced on me. But when it is, the life that we've chosen, the responsibility to live fully in it is is something of a reward. It's like that now all of a sudden, that's a great freedom, because I can take the responsibility for the things that are important. I don't have to carry the burden of others. I can take the responsibility of eliminating relationships that are part of that historic anchoring. That's very difficult, right? That's, that's not that's much more than ripping off a band aid. That's a surgical procedure, and takes a longer time to recover from, but but those are necessary things to take the responsibility to choose. And then the responsibility to act on those choices. I think is just a great exercise to stay present in as we go through each day, each period each season of our lives.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:34:34

Yeah, indeed, and I'm hearing you really talk about like, the whole replenish me process actually, I'm hearing like, release all that stuff. restructure, you know, creating new habits, better habits, joyful things to do you know, and then refresh. Like your environment, the people that you spend your heartbeats with Right, and rebirth into, you know, just welcoming your joy all the time, you know, you're you're freeing yourself by self nurturing. Yeah, that's like, entirely your, your whole story, you know.

Mike Vacanti: 00:35:17

And I think that to the best of our ability, certainly to the best of my ability to try to stay present in that, right, because it's very easy to start to doubt and accept the limitations again, and go back and do the comparing, and shrink ourselves in the, in the whole process again. And so it's that, that I don't know, understanding of the Gift of Choice each, each day. And, you know, living without regret, that and, and making sure that the page we write next is one we write, it's not one that was written for us. And, and, you know, that that's what I help for my children, that sort of help from my friends. That's what I hope for my colleagues and to try to stay present in that and show up that way. So I'm an example of it is hard work. And, and it's not all, you know, I'm so ignorant, I'm happy it is, I'm so aware, I'm choosing to pursue that fulfillment each day,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:36:46

or it's a practice to practice. Yeah, yeah.

Mike Vacanti: 00:36:53

A unique kind of discipline. It's growing awareness, it requires empathy, because you have to truly see other people, or let them be who they are. Not measure them by how alike they are to you, or judge them on how different they are, than you see how they are as beautiful as you are, they are as broken as you, and whatever that helped them, see the beauty help them heal from the brokenness, you know, however, we can show up and be present is, what a gift to be able to be in that frame of mind, that position that, you know, I get to be smart enough, strong enough, humble enough to, to show up, to try to help in some way. And know that my intent to help is good enough. Good enough.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:38:02

I love how you shared that that's, you know, who your being in the world is. It's like modeling the practice of, of presence, you know, and creating space for yourself, while creating space for others. Yes, or, yes.

Mike Vacanti: 00:38:30

You know, in that whole, being who we are, right, and it truly is, you know, living here, interpreting it here, and then and then going out and sharing that in each interaction. For me, it's trying to stay on that thought path of, of positivity, and, and helping and expanding. Because the, the tendency, and what I hear from so many people, right is, is we look and say, you know, there's this big global problem, there's this illness in the world and, and I'm going to lash out against that, because that that's what I think is right. So, you know, I'll just admit here on on this recorded conversation, that I am the wrong person on the planet to solve climate change. I'm, I'm the wrong person, right. I can clean the dishes in my sink. I can hang the clothes in my closet. I can make my bed I can show up presently. People, what I live in my life is something that I have full responsibility for. And if I do that really well, I'm being a good example, if I'm screaming at somebody else for the ills of a cause, and this planetary thing that, that. And then I go into my own environment, in my own heart and into my own head, and my thoughts are bad, and my sink is dirty, and my closets a mess, and my beds aren't made, then I'm kind of a fraud.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:40:36

congruence again.

Mike Vacanti: 00:40:39

Yeah. So, you know, we get into this whole thing of virtue signaling, right? Well, I'm going to align with this thing, and I'm going to be very loud about it. Because, you know, everybody else in the plan is horrible, except for these, you know, few people that we seem to be aligned with, and, and yelling at what food you eat, and when you eat it. And, and, and, you know, I think we have an opportunity to pause and breathe and bring that back. And, and, you know, how are we showing up right now? Or do that well, stop illuminating out all these things that are so far out of your control, right? And it's almost like the circles absorb, right? It's like, oh, I, I've mastered these soft skills. Now I'm gonna go out and conquer the world. And, and, you know, it's like, no one knows. Or you, you, you conquer this little circle first, and then this one, and then it needs to grow symmetrically to the abilities, and the opportunity.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:41:54

Yeah, the practice of the self discipline and practice of congruence will radiate out naturally on its own, you don't have to prophesize anything, you know, you know, the invitation is by who your being and how you show up, people will feel that that reverberates?

Mike Vacanti: 00:42:15

Yeah. So, yeah, think about that, like if we, if we try to live in those outer circles, right? So you drop a pebble and right, and so you have the the circles, right? And if we're living on the other circles, and it's like, well, I have this thing I'm paying attention to and then this one, measure how much running around there is to try to connect those things. It's like that's a lost life.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:42:39

And it's a waste of energy, you know? Yeah. So yeah, keep yourself centered, and be committed to that be committed to being congruent. And that, you know, also is, I would say, one of the major themes in in the book about being so yeah, absolutely

Mike Vacanti: 00:43:01

bring that back to the book, because I do believe that is well articulated, and repeated story after story, which, which helps a build that congruence, but also illuminate that truth, that come back in here, make it real influence what you can, based on that continuance of, of our own growth, our own journey, our own exploration of choices, and the responsibility to make them enact them. And you see a lot of smiling faces around, right, there's a lot of people that they were full, they were, they were like, they weren't, you know, they weren't seeking something that they couldn't attain, right, they were seeking the things that they could attain. And, and I think that is an important challenge. And important understanding each day is, is what can I influence? And what can I not influence? And if I can influence how do I want to influence it? And again, if we can, if the good if we can make the good, noisy to overcome the noisy bad? I think we're making a difference in

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:44:36

the world. Definitely. I see that. I see that and you and, and, and me, and, you know, it's always a joy to talk to him like it is.

Mike Vacanti: 00:44:51

Yeah, I thank you for that. And I say yeah, and kind of, you know, wander through that because I absolutely feel that I feel I feel that very strongly and more time together would be great for me. I love the work that you're doing. I, I believe in the impact that you're having. And I know the influence is from a place of love. From your heart, that you are centered in that understanding the the ignoring of the power of our heartbeat, the vibration and the rhythm and how our thoughts affect that. There's just there's a lot to learn. And it's not fluffy stuff, right? It's not this ethereal concept. It, it's, it's just living, right. It's like, oh, yeah, that's real. Yeah. Oh, I'm still here. I didn't make that up right there. And helping others find meaning, and giving themselves permission to heal, instead of staying in the illness, going through the muck valuing the beauty of the lotus flower as they pass by. But not living in that lock, I think is something we can continue to encourage, I think it's the the great opportunity for the coaching industry. I think it's missing because there's more money gathering at the lotus flower, right? There's more money in keeping you stuck in the muck, keep paying, we'll just commiserate together. And, but the greatest opportunity is to help move more people through to the other side. And I believe that's the spirit, the intent, the the the outcomes that are recorded the the volume of the work and the ultimate coach, is that path through. And that's again

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:47:27

100%. Well, I'm just like, what I'm enjoying so much. And what I want to acknowledge you for Mike is the way that you so eloquently, you know, convey what you believe. And, and you make it seamless, right? You you like in this conversation, you've, you've expressed your love and learnings as a father, how you bring that into who you are, professionally, you know, and how it's helped you to overcome adversity. You know, even your awareness of how to heal your anxiety and depression through pickleball something so fun, something so different and new, you know, and just being you're having the awareness that you needed to make some different choices to elevate your own soul and so you could be more the more you write, and finding out that similar the parts that you had assumed or you you had to release those. Yeah,

Mike Vacanti: 00:48:53

yeah. Yeah, I think Cordelia you know, if, if, if I am in a position of serving, right, and I think I'm, I'm serving this great nutrition to people. And suddenly I realized that what I am serving now looks like you know, a happy meal

Mike Vacanti: 00:49:20

I need to rethink that. Yes. It's like oh, I need to go back and and into the kitchen and re invent what is going on to that serving plate to bring forward and and nurture others or nourish others? And, and I think sometimes we, we forget that we have to evaluate that pattern and sometimes change it. If we don't, it may just happen to us. Or for us. Yeah.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:49:55

Like it did in your case.

Mike Vacanti: 00:49:57

We either choose to change or change how happens to us? Yes. Because it's, we're in motion. There's, there's no question about that. Yeah, my hair wasn't always great.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:50:12

Beautiful, and you have all of it, which is, which is a gift. Thank you so much, Mike. Um, I know we can, when we get together we can talk for like, ages.

Mike Vacanti: 00:50:28

I do want to say I'm gonna do a commercial. Right. So, okay, well read the book. Pay attention to the journey that Cordelia is taking along with her work. And if you have an opportunity to join one of the events, please make that investment. Because I believe you'll you'll feel the the opportunity to embrace some of the ideas that have been shared and talked about today. How beautiful it is if we can make a choice to be intentional about our growth. So read the book. Be thoughtful of who you're engaging with. Be thoughtful about where you're putting your energy to clean the closet. Don't try to clean the world. Make a difference each day. That's available. Stay with Cordelia on this path. I believe in where you're helping us grow to

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:51:33

thank you, Mike. Yeah. And join the LinkedIn group.

Mike Vacanti: 00:51:38

Yes, do that. Do that there's there's ways to engage and and again, making good louder than bad is is just a wonderful mission four for us all. There is more good than bad. Good, it's just peaceful and quiet. Let's raise that vibration. Thank you.