Being the Acknowledgement - Kai Henderson

TUCP Intro/Outro: 00:00:08

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast conversations from being inspired by the book, The Ultimate coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from being

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:00:48

Well, welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast. Kay Henderson. I love your laugh. Let us hear your laughter.

Kai Henderson: 00:00:58

Thank you. I'm really happy to be here.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:01:05

So very welcome. You're so very welcome. You know, it was a joy to meet you and Mumbai and, and to reconnect since we've been back. And I want people to know who you are. And that's, that's why I asked you please, let's begin the interview with your laughter because you are someone who is happiness, you know, to me, you you are grace and the essence of the purity of humanity. I also want people to know who you be in the world. So I'm gonna read a little bit of your bio, if that's okay.

Kai Henderson: 00:01:50

Absolutely. Thank you. Absolutely. So,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:01:54

chi Henderson has graced the stages of Harvard Medical School, the World Economic Forum headquarters in New York City, own times, radio, talk radio, New York City, total faith network, and much more. She's a former agency publicists gone rogue. And she's guided by her intuitive nature, she sets out on an adventure to be the magic she wished to see in the world. And today, she's empowering spiritual entrepreneurs to be your own publicists by securing high level media features and six figure opportunities on their own, so that they can create a life of freedom and massive impact, while remaining authentic and aligned with their truest self. And so welcome, Kai Henderson.

Kai Henderson: 00:02:51

And I'd love to start off by just saying how grateful how grateful I am to just be here to be here. And to be here with you. Yes. That's how I start my day. And that's why I'd love to begin this conversation. Thank you for letting the listeners know what it is that I do. And who it is that I be. I'll tell you a story about just a weekend, right? So we can tune in are listening to this, right? Let's do that. I just had a miraculous phone call with Harry ACL right before this interview. He called me like 15 minutes before, right? And I could have been like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm getting ready for the interview, you know, being all like serious. But I picked up I was like, Harry. You're calling me at just the right time. And what do you got me really presents you with something that I've been cultivating over these past couple of I could say that this is a lifetime of cultivation, actually. And that is that before we met at Mumbai, I had the honor, the honor of having a conversation with Steve. And I love that I'm seeing in the group that people are sharing their experiences from their conversations with Steve. I think Robert just posted a trifecta of you know, a little vignette of his experience with Steve Jobs like, Oh, that's beautiful. That's beautiful that we're being with our experience of ourselves while we're being with this other person. My experience was that I had a conversation with Steve. He gave me some homework to do. I was so into doing that homework that I missed that he had given me a call back. And I want to make sure that we're tracking here together. So I missed But Steve called me back. And I was like, you know, I was with my feelings about that, and what I was making that mean. And I saw underneath the missed call that he said, I'm so proud of you. And I could have called him back again to receive that acknowledgement. But I did something different. And I was with myself was what was coming up, I was calling him. If I if I had called him, I felt that I was calling him to get something to get that acknowledgment. So I'm calling Steve back. I'm going to live my life so that I can give myself that acknowledgement. Yes, the next message that I sent to Steve after that was See you in Mumbai. And that was months after I received that message. That was November, I saw Steve in in Mumbai, and everyone and you and Mumbai in February. But I lived my life. So that I was that acknowledgment for myself? Yes.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:06:19

I love that. I want to pause there. I know that you're going somewhere with this. But this is a very important point. Yeah. That you're living your life to be the acknowledgement for yourself. Right? For me, that is the ultimate in being. Because so often and you even said it, we take certain signs to tell us what to do. And you took that as a sign of who and how to be.

Kai Henderson: 00:06:55

Thank you. Welcome,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:06:58

continue.

Kai Henderson: 00:07:03

So fast forward to today. I hopped on this miraculous call with Harry about 15 minutes ago. And it dawned on me what that meant to me. And you know, on my document, part of my document, which is on my Facebook page, you know, I I use excerpts from it. I just did my latest excerpt was freedom is I am that. And Harry was asking me some really profound questions about who it is that I'd been. And I said, Harry, it just came out, Harry, that my life has been spent about being that. I said, Thank you, Harry, for asking me that question. Because in this moment, I'm realizing that I am this. And that moment, to me, is the epitome of being the acknowledgment being complete. being who I am who I truly am. I am that. That's why I'm laughing when we talk all the time, Cordelia that so I am so happy. I get to be this. Yeah. Huh.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:08:31

That's so good. And I love that, you know, part of your document is freedom. And I am that, right. And the other thing that my mind went to was, you get to be this, right? So like, do you know French? Right. So like, in French, there's like, celery, C, so we law, right? It's like, the distinction between this and that. Right? So there's, sometimes there are things that are clearly away from us. And then sometimes there are things that are clearly us. And so I was hearing that distinction in what you said. And regarding freedom, I had posted something also, I think just yesterday, that freedom is about creating boundaries, and and having discipline. And in order to, to do that you have to know your requirements. And in order to know your requirements, you have to be in the practice of nurturing yourself. That's right. So freedom is free, when you know your requirements. So that you know that's my next question for you. What are your requirements to be this

Kai Henderson: 00:09:57

wow And now I'll take that, that journey with you, as I discover for myself what that is

Kai Henderson: 00:10:15

now that we've created that distinction Wow, and requirements, right requirements, when I, when I saw your posts about that one of the words that stuck out to me was boundaries. And there is a, there's a distinction that I remember about a leaf falling into a river. If you are the leaf, then you are going with whatever direction the river takes you. Right? And what if we are the river? The distinction between this and that occurs to me just like that analogy. This being the river, being the direction being the steward, but being it all. So if there's a, if there's a container that's necessary, I'm not aware of it in this moment.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:11:19

And, you know, on some level, a river is a bit of a container until it's not right until it opens into the ocean. So, I love that and, and that sounds very accurate, right, that we are the river, not the leaf, a lot of times we get trapped, thinking that we're the leaf. And, and we're really grateful to be flowing on the river. You know, and what if we are the river, which is more accurate, that empties out into the ocean? Because we are that, right? Because in reality, all of us are just from one source are one source existing as one source. We are, you know, river rivers and tributaries away from the ocean, but we all ultimately empty into the ocean to be the one again. So I love that you've, you know, brought that into the conversation.

Kai Henderson: 00:12:23

And so beautiful how you express that, and especially with the, the, you know, the poet's by Rumi and so forth that we hear, you know, about being the ocean, and you're, you're helping me to continue cultivating this, right? That in this moment, I'm feeling like that we were creating it, right? Some anyone can say, Well, okay, I'm not the river. I'm the tree. Okay, I'm not the tree. I'm all of it. You know, it's our creation, perhaps we're being that we are at all perhaps we're being that we are one of them. Perhaps we are being that we are, whatever it is that we create. So that container that we're talking about Cordelia now I'm becoming aware that it, it's our creation?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:13:17

Yeah, we bifurcate ourselves away from the main source, by choosing to be smaller, right? And not not acknowledging that we're even in the small portion that we choose, we're still part of the bigger because even as you say, You're a tree, right? You do understand there's like a whole system of trees that they connect by the roots, you say, so we're still you're still not just a tree, a tree is not just a tree. And, you know, so all these tree systems they meet roots throughout the world, they do. Now, on the point of trees, I'm going to tangent a little bit, because I do love this analogy as well. I, you know, I'm an avid hiker. So I do that here a lot. And the US on the Appalachian Trail. And I was recently in the jungles of Mexico. And those trees talk different. And I can see, I can still see how they're a family with the trees here. You know, but just to check, you know, I came home and took a hike and my trees, my normal trees and I was like, Okay, you guys are different. So the distinction between jungle trees that I saw and the trees on the trail that I go to normally is that the jungle trees reflect back. Right so they let you see you and only feel your energy the trees here They draw you in, right? So you get to reconnect with the earth. But there, it's like you are part of us, be with us and see yourself. So what are you hearing?

Kai Henderson: 00:15:20

I'm hearing your experience nature. What a relationship you've created with trees. Talk about possibility of possibility. And I'm drawn in by this beautiful picture of a tree behind you. Yes. And your art gallery?

Kai Henderson: 00:15:50

Apropos. Yes. Yeah. What a beautiful connection.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:15:58

trees and water. And if you want to go back to I'm not sure if this is a Rumi quote. But there's, you know, the quote about being the Shady Tree. No, I

Kai Henderson: 00:16:08

don't. Yeah,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:16:09

I don't know that it's a Rumi quote. But there is, I'm going to like, paraphrase it, it's like, be the shady tree for those who love you. Right? So if we were to pull it all together, the analogies about you know, being a river, being a tree being this being bad.

Kai Henderson: 00:16:32

Being is what would you say? Being is, I would put a period at the end of that. Right?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:16:44

I totally feel that like, because once upon a time, Steve said to me, you know, you should love what is. Right. And now I experienced life as life is and what's not to love. Right, so you sing that Bing is

Kai Henderson: 00:17:09

same thing. And I've been writing a lot of poetry lately. So you know, getting really creative with the the punctuation is a thing, right? Where do we decide to put the periods when we can do anything? Where do we put a comma, when we can do anything? We can we can be that commas belong here or there, or they don't belong at all. This is truly our creation. I love how our entire conversation is, is illustrated behind you. We've got the ocean in the river and the sun, and we've got the tree

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:17:50

and then you've got the cosmos behind you. So like, we got it covered.

Kai Henderson: 00:17:59

Right. Yeah.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:18:05

I love it. You know, I, I wanted to create this conversation as being distinct from all the other ones where we are pointing directly to the book of being or some particular thing and just have our conversation be an expression of being instead of doing right. So I love that you're bringing in that you've been writing a lot of poetry and I'm wondering if there's something some one of your recent creations that comes up that you could share with us if you're open to that.

Kai Henderson: 00:18:42

I love it. I love it. Heck, yeah, I'm gonna open up this folder. It would be it's an honor to share. And thank you so much for asking. There's one that comes to mind. I'll read this one. And to me again to to just to create the listening around this is that I went to Mumbai, with my husband, Earl, my husband, let's go. And her our last public conversation Cordelia it turned into five countries and seven days, which was a beautiful experience have ended up going to just be right, as opposed to going to do something or to get something out of it, which was another amazing experience. So I come back, I do this radical thing called rest.

Kai Henderson: 00:19:51

About that.

Kai Henderson: 00:19:53

And then after resting, I I was invited to a writing retreat. And this writing retreat was occurring at the apex of lots of contemplation about Wi Fi. The trip to Mumbai created a clear slate a blank canvas for what it was that I wanted to create, with my be it my business and my life, my relationships. My friend invites me to her writing retreat. I was like, Yeah, I'm there. Like I say that the Monday before it started on a Friday. So this is how this is how I'm being I was just a yes. So I made it there. And she says, Great to have you here. There's so much here for you. And she showed me how writing could be a reflection of a conversation that you're having with yourself. And for me, it became about expression. It's about me being expressed, as opposed to writing for a purpose writing to someone writing for something, right, I get to be with myself and have that be enough.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:21:08

Mm hmm. Yeah,

Kai Henderson: 00:21:10

that's when it started to flow. When I was like, Oh, yeah.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:21:17

What a marvelous opening. And I love the way you're creating the listening around this.

Kai Henderson: 00:21:22

Yeah. Thank you. So I'll read the poem. And then I'll read you the title after

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:21:31

that makes perfect sense to me.

Kai Henderson: 00:21:35

I split. The wild chance that I am freedom itself is a possibility. I wear like a lace choker, close but not too close to leave room for disappointment. I wince when it's tugs at. Because I don't want to believe that any manner of this reality I carved tirelessly away I can be so easily jeopardized. I'm learning that the very glow from the wellnot web of evolutionary Dreams was placed there by me as me. My mind's melts than I poured back and into its sculpted, reptilian shaped in case meant to be lit again at a later time. When my most statuesque commands of my existence begin to take form I shattered, as if to shake off the disbelief that I am indeed worthy of such a coveted embodiment. My extremities are platinum cast and lovingly hold the reflections of all gazers each Welcome to In turn, behold the beauty of themselves. Eyes structured with facets, that imply the infinite fractal nature of our deepening curiosity and search for that which is ever present skin blessed with a sensitivity to the subtlest of sensations, and nourish with nutrients from beyond this dimension. The depth with which I see is gifted from my third eye mind, my sockets are filled simply for good looks. Being in the presence of my truest form, my truest self summons me to a deep internal bow, and exultation of the deliberate suspense and surrender of my choice to remember I am truth.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:23:19

And how are you calling this poem is titled, I

Kai Henderson: 00:23:23

am worthy. Hmm.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:23:26

I was going to guess at the title. But I was like, as as I listened, I was like, there's so many possibilities here. I feel that the title probably has an I am something but I wasn't sure what the I Am. Could be. So I am worthy. Sounds accurate.

Kai Henderson: 00:23:49

It was accurate for when I wrote it. And in this moment, I would retitle it I am freedom

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:23:55

Is assumption. I was like, oh, let's call time freedom. But then at the end, I was like, okay, but yeah. And you're free to call it however you want. You know, the title can float. Right? Maybe make it I am dot dot dot, right. It changes.

Kai Henderson: 00:24:13

Nice. Yes. It's a conversation. It's a conversation. The conversation continues. Every time that I read it to myself. The dialogue continues on the inside through my being my being about that I wrote this. Who am I being about these words? Who am I being about the feeling that it evokes? Who am I being about sharing it? Yeah,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:24:37

You're being infinite possibilities in love. That's, that's how I experienced you always. Yeah. I can't really remember not experiencing you that way. I mean, even when we met in Mumbai, you know, I think I made a joke. I was like, Oh, you're the other me.

Kai Henderson: 00:25:07

Yeah, we met each other before we met each other. Yeah.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:25:14

To know each other even, you know,

Kai Henderson: 00:25:18

even now and yeah, so yeah, you reminding me Cordelia there is a there's a Post this morning actually in the ultimate coach GROUP BY ALEX planet in who I had the absolute pleasure to connect with during one of the connection, bingos. Oh, and he's talking about how we get to be in this playgrounds, you know, with all of these amazing beings. And what I, what I got from what he said, for me was a reminder of the experience that when I get to be with people, not just here, you know, this is we're talking about the explained expansive playground now, right, is that I get to be reminded of facets of myself, and your saying of the, you know, the happiness that I remind you of, and when I get to be with you, you reminds me of joy. Ah, yeah, when, when I get to be with and there's so many reminders, Harry reminded me of being complete, you know, before this conversation, Townsend, I watched his lives, I get to be reminded of that I'm always creating, there's, there's so many people, my husband, or he reminds me to receipt, there's just there's so many amazing facets that I get to be reminded of when I when I interact with people, Wolfgang and Dave Orton remind me to be in room 509 All the time, oh, keep breathing. That message that I was talking about earlier, that, you know, being proud of me, that I get to be that reminder for myself, I get to integrate all of these beautiful reminders that I'm receiving from everyone into my own being and I get to be that perpetually. For me, that's the gift that I that I've received, of being in such a magnificent playground, as Alex landed and voted. And that I get to experience like that, these gems and jewels that are also within myself, and then being able to have a conversation with myself that just continues to perpetuate it. It's the gift that keeps on giving the people that we get to be with who it is that we're being when we're with them

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:27:49

And on and on and on and on. And the sparkles that they sparkle back to us as the gems Yeah,

Kai Henderson: 00:28:00

We get to be this and the reflection of it. Yes, in this moment,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:28:05

I am I want to close the circle on what it is to be the acknowledgement. So now you know having having gone all the places with the analogies and listen to the poetry and you know, being in the gratitude and the joy and and the infinite possibilities create listening for the listeners on how they can create their world being the acknowledgment.

Kai Henderson: 00:28:43

Listening is one of one of the ways that I've been committed to creating, creating from and listening. And it's possible to listen to the listening and to be with what's there. Another story, to wrap this up, is that there was a training that I was a part of, to to create purpose in one's life. So what what do you what do you do? And I'm gonna alter that question. So who do you be when everything and every one in the world is healed? Happy whole. Like can What is it like to create purpose to create from that space? And for me, what came up? What What would I do would I be from a space like that where everybody is happy bowl and completes, said I would just be with the creating from being with whatever is there has been really significant for me. And I create it as an invitation, not one that has to be taken, but a possible Lily,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:30:00

Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I think that's a perfect place to close our conversation and with that invitation to the listener, and it's really been a joy being with you today. And I love that you're my final interview for the ultimate coach podcast.

Kai Henderson: 00:30:25

It's such an honor, thank you so much for having me here. And thank you so much for who you are for all of these evil. Yeah, I appreciate it.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:30:36

You're welcome. And for those of you who are listening, share this with another heart and share this with another soul.