Creating Enlightenment - Chris Dorris

TUCP Intro/Outro: 00:00:08

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast conversations from being inspired by the book The Ultimate coach written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from be

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:00:48

Hello, Chris. I'm so excited to be here with you.

Chris Dorris: 00:00:52

Like wise. Thank you. Thank you so much for the invitation to play along. I love your background. Oh, I love your top two. That's great color. That's Rick dedeaux suspect if I say the name Rickie Fowler, would you by any chance know who that is? He's a famous golfer. And certain golfer certain pro golfers have a certain wardrobe that they wear on Sundays because Sunday's are the final rounds of the tournament. So if you make it to Sunday, it's a big deal. So they dressed like Tiger Woods always wore a red shirt while wears red shirt by pants. But Rickie Fowler he used to he used to wear on Sundays orange on orange with an orange hat all orange like a damn.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:01:39

A creamsicle

Chris Dorris: 00:01:40

That's exactly right. That's exactly the color. He's as he's matured, he's still sticks with orange between orange on orange and orange. It's orange on white pants. So

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:01:53

that's a nice mix to have. Thank you. You're welcome. So, you know what, you know what today is?

Chris Dorris: 00:02:04

I do? Do I know exactly what day this? I'm gonna let you say it.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:02:11

It's the best day of my life.

Chris Dorris: 00:02:15

Why wouldn't it be? Well,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:02:17

there's no reason. Well, there could be.

Chris Dorris: 00:02:20

Okay, so for example, okay, so, um, so that's a ritual that I started practicing probably two years ago now. And what the ritual is, is in the morning, when I wake up, I shoot I make an actual conscious choice to have it be true that this is the best damn day of my life. So on my bathroom mirror I have written in dry erase hashtag BDDO ML best damn day of my life. As a reminder, I sometimes I I don't need to. Sometimes I beat it to that, but it's good to have that there in the mirror in case I don't recall or remember to do that. And I started that, that ritual that practice because of what you just said, I agree. It's like there really is no reason that it couldn't be it's not you should be or need assurance. I wasn't like it needs to be. But it could be all right, like my condition our the conditioning of our paths that governs us. What happens Wait, one of my favorite mantras is crazy state don't wait. And the number one mistake that I've observed people making in my entire career, which is has always been about helping people have their lives on their terms is putting unnecessary time between themselves and being who they want to be and having what they want to have and doing what they want to do. So in other words, wait. Right we've been conditioned to wait like wait for acknowledgement to feel like you know the best in class of what you do. Waiting for a certain amount of dollars in your savings before you feel not even successful just like financially safe. You know waiting title waiting for a win. Let's work with athletes waiting for a win before you feel like you're belong with the best and all that stuff. So create the state don't wait. So I decided to stop waiting to see like saw like, what do I really need something unusually spectacular to occur in my day? Before I can say you know what, today is the best day in my life? Do I really need to wait for that? And the answer's no. So I started experimenting with altering my state. First thing to have it to have it be true in some days like today. It's today it was not easy. What happened, nothing happened. It didn't like have a bad dream. There's no unpleasant things going on in my world. For whatever combinations or reasons of journaling I need to hypothesize on this morning. I was just like, you know, does it really need to be? Does it really need to be the best day in my life? And my answer to myself was no that's doesn't I don't ever want this practice to become some kind of weird fake obligatory bullshit? No, it was always gonna be a get to. So I'll blow it off. So I actually started to blow it off. Wow, yeah, well start to blow off and then But then I had the thought right after that, which is, well, why don't you just experiment with it? And I was just just like experiment with I'm just like brushing my teeth. I'm looking at the BDD Lama. I go, Well, could it be? It doesn't need to be what my life is just fine without having everyday need to be the damn best damn. But if it's an available option,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:05:36

why not? Ah,

Chris Dorris: 00:05:38

I agree.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:05:39

I know I can hear him.

Chris Dorris: 00:05:41

He's all wrapped up

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:05:51

I love that you were honest about that. Thank you for sharing that with us. Because, you know, it would be easy to look at you and be like, Bull, you're a mental toughness coach, and you have all these mantras and cool shirts and cool sayings. And, you know, look at you, you've got it all together. And it's so great that you're letting us know that you create your way of being,

Chris Dorris: 00:06:19

oh, yeah, I create Trump. I mean, I still create tons of suffering for myself. I tons. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but I still create unnecessary suffering. I still complain multiple times a day, I still have unskillful auto responses to life. But I'm always in the practice. I'm never not in the practice of self inquiry is a prepaid, like there's a new that one of my newest mantras is no seconds off. I take no seconds off of being I exist in a perpetual state of self inquiry. Meaning I'm asking myself questions like, how am I feeling right now? Do I agree with it? Could we use a little love? You know, there's a room for an upgrade? Do I want that? Or my choosing this? Like, how are the quality of my thoughts in this moment as measured by my emotions? Are they serving me? And that's a fun practice as powerful practice. It is. Yeah.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:07:17

I'm wondering because like, as I'm listening to you this, your everyday practice sounds like my terrific Thursday practice. Yeah, I don't know about can you tell me I can. So my, so like, everyday has a theme. And so on Thursdays, it's terrific Thursday, same kind of thing. And I wake up in the morning, and I'm like, wait, it's Thursday, it's terrific. Thursday, I can choose my vibration, my frequency, right. And that gives me choices. So it doesn't have to be like the best day of my life. But it could be like, one day could be gratitude. Another Thursday could be joy, you know, just I pick different vibrations and frequencies. So

Chris Dorris: 00:08:00

well. So what you really stand out for me from that is when you say I pick. So that's choice. And that a huge part of the conditioning of our past that results in us unnecessarily settling, struggling or suffering is being conditioned to forget that we have that choice. I am being in being conditioned to believe that the outer world in fact governs the inner world, whereas it's backwards. That's backwards. And another the mantra for that is the outer world is reflection. The inner world I see what I've got going on my life is a direct reflection of what I've got going on in my mind. So if I got chaos in my life, it's because I have chaos. In my mind. If I have abundance in my life, it's because I have abundance in my mind if I have both is because that which is most often the case versus we have both. Right. But I love that you're making choices. So what's the one for Monday?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:08:50

Oh, mindful. Mindful Monday. Yeah. And it's it's two L's so it's mine. Right? Yeah, but it's the same concept still, right. It's not mindful of crap. It's like mine. Full like of what I want it to be full of.

Chris Dorris: 00:09:12

Yeah, right. Like high

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:09:14

vibes. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Dorris: 00:09:17

Right. Yeah. My, um, my dear friend, mentor, soul sister for business partner, colleague, former client of Steve Hardison ins. She and I started our business together our sports psychology practice back in the day, called Head games. Doc Haley has been healing in my world and I've learned a lot of things from Dr. Allison Arnold or doc alley. Right. And do you know if doc alley

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:09:46

we I feel like we had this Converse we started to have this conversation before. But we didn't finish? Yeah.

Chris Dorris: 00:09:53

Yeah, I've interviewed her a couple times with pot for my podcast but among a million other The thing she taught me that we are always either polluting or purifying the environment with our vibes. Another way of saying is we are always purifying or polluting the environment with our the quality of our thinking, because our thinking then translates into vibrational expressions. That's not like weird food nonsense. That's science. You know, there's I mean, they're machines, they're machines, literally machines that measure that stuff. That stuff being the vibration of our thinking, where I said, when people say, Oh, I, you know, I get a bad vibe from a guy. Yeah, they think they're being metaphorical. And they're, in fact being

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:10:39

totally literal. Yeah. There's a machine

Chris Dorris: 00:10:43

called a magneto, Magneto and Cephalo graph, okay? There's this big old device that like, they lowered down over your head, and it's like three feet away from your cranium all around You 360. And what it's doing is simply picking up your emissions. And it was right. And, of course, like a scientist will give you stimulus will give you a picture of like, some horrific thing, and then they measure the difference in that but, and then they'll say something beautiful, a memory of yours, that's lovely. And then they'll measure the all the change in the frequency of the vibration, which is created simply by the way you are choosing to think in the moment. And that could do it. By the way, something that we most of us haven't had training in, is how to intent like we all had gym class. Yeah, I read a gym phys ed, which is good. Yeah. Physical Education, being educated on the value of being physical. Physically, I thought, that's good. But it could have been followed up with emotional motional mastery, or like mental Ed. Which is like, Hey, kids. Alright, so everybody, right now, do whatever you need to do to create the state of jealousy go, stop. Now. Everybody can do whatever you got to do in your mind to create the state of bliss go. Yeah, let's do that. We can alter our states rapidly on purpose.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:12:16

Well, since we didn't have that, Chris, how does that work? Like, I'm pretty sure there's that one listener that's like, okay, whatever you guys are talking about? sounds really cool. But how do I make every day the best day of my life?

Chris Dorris: 00:12:28

Right. So like everything else in the world? I believe everything else, like developing mastery in anything takes practice, practice, practice, practice, practice. Right. And so I'll just tell you a story is my response. At least one maybe to one slow. Well, this whole podcast was inspired by Mr. Hardison. So let's make a store sell story about him. Why don't we seems appropriate is appropriate. This is stories about a year old. And I've told it probably 100,000 million times this past year, because really good for exactly what we're discussing here. Alright, so Steve takes one of his summer trips, you know, picks up state town in a neighboring state and loads up his little Porsche with a whole bunch of books and presents and all kinds of gifts and stuff that he knows he's going to be given away to the people that the new humans that he's about to go meet and interact with, and CO create miracles with and inspire and love and, and that's cool, right? And he documents it very well. Many people listening or watching are probably very familiar with this, they may already know the story I'm about to tell. And if you do, it's cool. Listen to the story from this perspective from this unique perspective, because you don't know my version of the story. So Steve, last year, he picked Santa Monica, California, so drove over to Santa Monica. And you know, he co created the murals all kinds of beautiful things, starting with the Bellman as soon as he pulled up to the resort that he was staying at probably spent an hour under the portico learning these guys names in their lives and give them gifts, take pictures of posts on Facebook. Probably didn't get to his room for two hours after he pulled the hell up to the damn Hotel. So that's the way it is right? It's just any documents. He's so good. Steve, you are how you are really you have crushed social pressure social, Facebook and Instagram killing. So it's like watching this beautiful like a like a really beautiful reality TV show. Right? So it goes on for six days. All this goodness, millions of beautiful stories, but the reason I'm telling the story aren't any of those right now. The relative piece is on his way home. So he makes a final post in the last year he called this trip the top hat tour. And he just said he's got a top hat I don't know if there was any other reason other than just fun. But anyway just you know, top hat tore complete and now he's like I get to go home and oh my god, I go see my girlfriend who I miss terribly. She oh by the way happens to be my wife. If Amy I love you so much honey, I'm on my way home, see in a few hours. It's like nice. And then a couple hours later though, he makes another post. And he says, Top Hat tour apparently not complete yet. I get to create more miracles. Now. I don't know. It's I don't know if that's exactly what he wrote. But that's the vibe. Alright, you can probably go back on his Facebook page and look exactly what he wrote. But it's like not apparently not over yet. I get to go create more miracles, more magic. And he's like I so he's like, I'm out here I have a flat tire. I have a flat tire. So before I go any further with this, I want to everyone I want to invite everybody that's watching or listening to pay attention to your responses to your auto responses to the details I'm about to share. The whole reason I'm telling the story right now. Watch your art. So Steve gets a damn flat tire. He's in his little Porsche doesn't have spare. He's 120 miles out from home in the middle of the damn desert and summer. It's 120 degrees. Watch your responses, just checking his check. Just notice with lightheartedness always do what ours? does, it ain't light it ain't right. So. So he received, he put he makes his post it says I get to create more miracles. I get to call Porsche roadside assistance and make that person whoever answers the phone and make their day. And when he calls and the woman answers the phone, he's all amped up and she's like, bro, You okay, man? And he's like, I am on drugs. Yes, some of dopamine and serotonin. I'm sure I'm making that shit up. But, but it's true, though, you know.

Chris Dorris: 00:16:44

And we need to talk about the other way at some point during this conversation that's happening. So okay, so um, you know, he makes her day and he's like, so what are we going to do? What are we? What should we do? And then she's like, she's like, Man, I wish I would get calls like this. Imagine that. That woman, like her job is to answer calls, right from people who are in the middle of circumstances, where probably 99.999% of the time, they're responding completely differently than this guy Steve Hardison is on the phone. So she's like, wow, how refreshing is this deal, right? And she says, We're gonna call up Marcus, I don't remember the guy's name. And he's going to drive a flatbed out. And he's going to pick up your car and you and drive you back. And Steve's like, oh, man, Marcus, holy, he's about to have a ride of his life, and he doesn't even know it. You know, and Steve fascial, you know, and she's like, So sure enough, that happens, right? And there's all miracles that are co created, like he really did. I mean, that's like a bee with session. Like, delete that. That's

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:17:51

bullshit. Is Yes,

Chris Dorris: 00:17:54

in a cab of a truck for two hours.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:17:57

That's what session it

Chris Dorris: 00:17:59

is. So, you know, our boy's life was changed, you know, and it's beautiful, right? But I'm still I'm telling the story for that. I hear the story, read the story. And so I'm, of course, I'm sharing that story a lot. But this is some fresh content, right of like, that's what we're working towards folks. Yeah, the ability to respond. So strengthening your response DASCH ability, so that you can choose your word, a mind full with two L's response to life, so that we can get faster to the creation of excellence, which is all we're designed to do, and have frickin fun doing stuff that was shady about what? So? So I'm telling the story. This is a great story of what we're all working towards here with this whole mental toughness joke. And but then I told the story, so I was telling you on stages and keynotes and stuff, and of course, I'm using them i Well, like on podcasts and stuff, and in my coaching, but I have thought pretty early, I had a thought like CD. Tell myself, are you like, are you conveniently filling in some blanks here? For the sake of a great story? Well, let's go clarify. I mean, I know the guy. Yeah. So So I called him up and I call him Admiral and he calls me boldness. That's a story for another day, my document, but I'm, like, Admiral, I'm telling your spy tire story, but I want to make sure I'm telling you accurately. So can I ask you some clarification questions too. To be precise, it was a bonus. So one honest to god, how long did it take for you to seriously get enthused after you discovered that you're getting a flat tire because there's a little notification comes up on the dashboard that you're getting a flat tire in the middle of the desert with no spare and 20 degree heating. And he was none time

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:19:51

none time. I want I want that. I want none time for me.

Chris Dorris: 00:19:58

That can be that can be none time none Time. We have private care for that Catholics. So we'll, we'll figure it out.

Unknown: 00:20:06

Oh, and II to be clear.

Chris Dorris: 00:20:09

So, so I said, Okay, good. Good. second and final clarification question. How are you able to do that? And he said, years and years of practice. I said, perfect, man. Thank you. I'm telling the story perfectly. I love you. Bye. So that's the answer. Right? So that's the beginning of the answer, because that the actual question still remains, what were the top picks of what? Practicing what? Practicing paying damn attention practicing being in a perpetual state of self inquiry watching? So the reason I asked her in his story to pay attention to your responses, because they'd probably a boatload of people watching or listening to this had auto responses you kind of didn't say the first time you saw or heard the story. Right? It was like, Wow, man, right. So I tell the story on purpose to make it sound like it's a problem. But it doesn't sound like I'm trying because this is the way both people will tell the story because everybody's in agreement that that sucks. That that's just circumstances sucks. Alright, so recently, I was doing a gig for a company that I worked with. And we were doing a workshop and in Scottsdale here, and I told the story, and I was telling the story, just like I just did, saying, Yeah, so it's 120 degrees. Like, I've got no spare some talent like that. Yeah. And then there's one guy over toilet. Oh, hold that. Thank you. Because you ain't going on there's room to do that you just did it out loud. So it's like capture that that's what we're here working on. So the practicing one that paying attention to that, watching your auto responses, the unprepared mind less rehearsed, therefore all our responses, low grade auto responses to life, and challenging them and replacing them with something that you prefer, with a response, strengthening your response, that ability. So now I don't, I don't like go selling. Like enthusiasm is the way that you are supposed to respond to a flat tire. But it's a way you could if you practice,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:22:17

it's on the menu of frequencies. We talked about that earlier.

Chris Dorris: 00:22:21

It's on the menu, but you can't pick it. You can't even see it. When you're in the brainwashed nature of the state of shit, which is what you've been practicing. This sucks. So here's, here's a good takeaway, when this sucks is a very popular phrase. Okay? Just pay attention to how often you say it to yourself throughout the day. Okay, and add adjusted. Okay, so it'll be like this. So like, I'll go to the fridge and like I was gonna make coffee and I'm like, forgot to pick up new coffee grinds on my old coffee hot sauce, then go, unless it doesn't just that just that sucks. Unless it doesn't.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:23:06

Or you could also say, isn't as great. I get to go on and you can go

Chris Dorris: 00:23:11

there. Yeah, right. But then that's that. But that's, that's an option. And yeah, yeah. What I'm saying unless it doesn't is to

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:23:21

Yeah, that's instant.

Chris Dorris: 00:23:23

Stop the old shit. Stop the old automatic crap. Now when you stop the old mindless auto response sucks. You didn't choose that. That occurred naturally or I'm sorry, instantly and effortlessly automatically simply because you've rehearsed it so much overtime. That has become the habit which is a good that's good news is that that's a thing that like we're headed for. We can create habits but the question is the habit serving you. So I know this sucks. I have never known that the survey. Right? So I'm gonna interrupt it right start to break the neural pattern, right, which is literally reconstituted our neural network like literally are we are reconstituted in our physiology and our brains, literally, is neurosurgery. It's not invasive neurosurgery. I love it. I like saying that too. Right. It's,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:24:14

it's accurate. It's very true. And you know, it's funny, because I didn't want to interrupt you when you were telling story. But that's exactly what the practice does. It re programs your muscle memory and your neuro programming. And we like to think it's with our actions, but it really begins with our words,

Chris Dorris: 00:24:39

NLP. Neuro Linguistic Programming or re programming. Yeah, right. So that's so true. So to be perfectly clear, before pardoning before we move on, because your question is so profound ly important that I want to make sure that we're really giving everybody super specific clarity on the actual practical, simple, profound. What is this practice? Yes, simply paying attention to your shitty auto responses to life. Okay, I read somewhere that they did a scientific research study on the frequency with which humans complaint. I don't even know how you would measure that. That's really fascinating to

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:25:20

me the same way that they measure everything else with the thing, right? By Yeah, right with

Chris Dorris: 00:25:25

biofeedback, I tracked resumes with why don't bother No, because? Because like, Well, anyway, here's what it is. So the answer, how often do we complain? On average, humans complain once every 11 seconds. So I mean, that's like somebody's walk around with like biofeedback devices, and just walking through life and then just targeting when it goes blue, you know, whatever. I just want to assume that that's accurate. I want to operate from the assumption that they are correct. And that I do, in fact, have a problem with reality that frequently. For the sake of fairness, let's just assume that right? Okay. And then start catching those auto responses. And then if you want to go from there, you can go, Well, what can we create from this? Or Here's one. Here's another

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:26:12

possibility. The problem is the gift. Yeah, I love that almost a gift,

Chris Dorris: 00:26:17

if you'll have it be. The prize really, really can be the gift. Like Steve's flat tire problem. Yeah. Yeah. But we've been taught problem.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:26:28

He got to ride in a big truck with a new person.

Chris Dorris: 00:26:34

And got to make that person's day. Like you've looked at it like a child like, Oh, more adventure. Yeah, we have that available option all day, every day. Always.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:26:45

Does his car have a name?

Chris Dorris: 00:26:47

Oh, what a great question. Could I shirt on? I bet it does.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:26:52

My car has a name. So I was thinking and then his car got a ride to?

Chris Dorris: 00:26:58

Well, Steve, um, of course, Steve's watching or listening. What's the name of your car? Man? I don't know. I'm only asked for that.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:27:07

I love the way you answered my question, though. Because you know, what the notes are that I wrote down. I put masterclass and changing your shitty state of thinking. Nice. That's really what you just did. You know? So thank you for so let me tell

Chris Dorris: 00:27:25

backup script to that. Okay. Okay. Because this is because like, Okay, so that's like, that's a story of someone who has put in decades, decades of the practice decades, decades daily, right, you know, it goes through some steep grocers Moore's law, and he listens, and he's filling his brain. He's filling his brain with lots of stuff like this, like our podcasts, and with his declaration, right with his personal commitment. And he is constantly making sure he's pro he is programming his mind, so that he is able to choose to respond to life skillfully. According to him, whatever skillful to him, it's his call, he could do it his way the way he chooses to. So I went to my refried this happened like few months ago. Maybe it's close. It doesn't matter what happened, but it was I went to the kitchen, and I noticed that I open the fridge and it's like, all sweaty, you know, like, oh, something's wrong here. It's not working, like oil dripping. You know? I feel stuff and like, oh, it's not cold. It's getting cold. But I caught it. So what's your response? What's your responses again? Yeah, I was. So so you're not so good way to be transparent. Because why that's the practice. As I tell the story, as a fun, that's pretty funny story. Watch your honor responses and examine them. That is the work. Okay, so all predicated upon your ability to introspect to inquire, self inquire, in our world examination, become an curious observer of the activity your mind. Okay, so I'm like, Okay, so the fridge is breaking. And I actually was cooled my response for like, 17 years, maybe more, it's like, nothing is paid. Nice. Thank you for your service. Plus, I caught everything and I just put a whole bunch of new steaks in the freezer that I got, and really nice steaks. And so I really it's cool, because I have I have a spare fridge in the garage. Oh, just kidding. It's like, I have a watch. Call it the home warranty policy, you know, so it was fine. I just call them up and then the guy comes, so I put the food out of the other fridge. I didn't lose anything. And when I call the warranty dude comes out big dude. You

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:30:00

I'm bigger than you really.

Chris Dorris: 00:30:01

This guy's massive. And he was cool is is different Poland, we just had a great rap sesh I stayed the kitchen whole time just wrapping chatted up with him. He was telling me stories about how he met his wife on a cruise ship and stuff. And you know, all this and I have given a copy of the Daily Dose book. It was just as nice as it gives good deal. He knows good. So I probably gave him a shirt. And, and off he went, and everything's cool. So four days later, it's a Monday morning, and it's one of those Monday mornings. You know, Devin Bateson, is working with Steve Hardison, right for a second year now. And when Devin comes out from New York, he stays at my house, which is what a luxury and privilege that is for me to be able to be around that amazing spirit. And he's, you know, he's my brother. So I go into the kitchen on Monday, I wake up, I go straight into the kitchen, because of what I do the first thing third thing, first thing is best damn day. My second thing is what do I get to do today? Third thing is slam a glass of water. So I go in and get a glass of water out of the fridge. And I open the fridge and know the floor. The kitchen floor is covered in water. Okay, so check all the responses if there are any. So Mike, so I opened it up and everything's born. Everything's steaks are spoiled. Everything's right. And there's water all over them for the refrigerator broke again. Four days after it was repaired. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, so I go off on a postal tirade of carpet F bombs. remarkably creative uses of F word.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:31:43

Rapid fire, because you're from Philly.

Chris Dorris: 00:31:46

I could use that excuse. I do you excuse my fall?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:31:54

Don't take responsibility, Chris.

Chris Dorris: 00:31:57

Therefore, you know, you know I was raised. So, I'm just gonna put HOA ah, with a warranty company cheap as is just to replace the damn Freshco sake, man with my paygrade and that guy, I thought he was cool. He can't fish shit. You know. But I only went on for probably 15 seconds honest to God, honest to God. There's a 15 set it was suffering for 15 seconds was me having practicing mindlessly auto responding to reality with massive problematic interpretation. Like practice this. Okay, so good. And, but then I stopped myself I did I call him. And I use two monitors. One, the great neutralizer mantra. It's like the F acid for low grade interpretations. And it goes ain't bad just is

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:32:52

the one I used last time. Here you go. Yeah,

Chris Dorris: 00:32:56

ain't bad just is. Right. So that's a neutralizer or so I instantly in a matter of seconds, snap myself out of, you know, the brainwashed state of like serious problem. To totally neutral just, it's just it's just is sort of meat that needs to be thrown away water that needs to be cleaned up a refrigerator that will now need to be replaced or fixed. Data like these are reading classes. And this is a phone. Just data on there is a coaster. It's information. Right? So I neutralized it. But then after I neutralize it, I thought, well, let's let's do like what you suggested. And then let's make it better. So I used another one. Another mantra, which is this the best damn thing could have happened. Right? And I mean that right now if someone if you would ask me, how's this the best damn thing could have happened? Then I would say I'm not sure yet. But stay tuned. Because by virtue of the way I'm choosing to interpret this, I'm going to create something cool out. I just don't know what it is yet. So just give me a minute. Yeah. But at that very moment, exactly. At the time, when I said this damn thing could have Devin and not the go to my coach in the NBA. Right? walks in. He sees me standing there in a puddle of water. Right? And he looks any ah bro? How pissy you.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:34:24

Wow.

Chris Dorris: 00:34:25

He's always fun. It's just like,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:34:27

he's been interesting. Interesting.

Chris Dorris: 00:34:29

So there's got to be a joke in here. Cordelia. Somebody's got to master mental

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:34:35

thinking that you're the Mental Toughness coach and we've got to go to a commercial

Chris Dorris: 00:34:40

for our services. Actually, it really it really is. Because so so I answered his question. So he said, bro, I pissed you and I said, None is the best damn thing could have happened and he goes, see, I see you doing the work.

Chris Dorris: 00:35:04

You know, and I was like, Yeah, well, you should see me a few seconds ago. I wasn't doing the work yet. I was in the state. I was in the precondition state, I wasn't making any choices there. I was responding with problem with a real problem. What is a real problem reality? struggled against, but I'm very proud to say that that is only about a 15 second response. And that's taken decades. Okay, so I take no seconds off. So that's the practice. I want that to sound appealing. Not anything other than appealing. I want people who are listening to this have that sound. Oh, that's so cool. I could do that. Because I'm not in a hurry. I'm not sitting here wishing that I had zero seconds. I don't want to wait because that's we have a problem with the fact that 15 seconds so that that those complete paradox. Right? I don't want to I want to stop wishing she was different. So and love what is because when you love what is what is what you want. So I'm pumped, I'm celebrating, right? The fact that it's like, all the way down to 15 seconds, because it could have been 15 days back in the day, you know? Yeah. Right. And yeah, and I'm like, celebrating that. So So hear this as like, when, you know, it could it could potentially sound like wow, that's exhausting. Like no seconds off my goodness. But it's

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:36:34

not exhausting, though. In fact, it's the opposite. Yeah,

Chris Dorris: 00:36:38

it's invigorating. Because what you're doing is you're lining up. You're vibing up to the high grade frequencies that make you feel good to have you feel good. And have you be good, but only always only and everything. What's exhausting, is staying way down a call below the O line, which is less than neutral. Oh means observations like below the observation below neutral. So I have a problem with what is that's exhausting. spending all this time in the state of wishing shit was different. And not knowing it?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:37:12

That That part is exhausting. What I really love about your story, though, Chris, is it was an instant opportunity for you. Right? It was like, I get to see who you know, where I can improve more it gets, you know, I get to see what I can create. And once you've got yourself to that place, right, then you got to share that experience. Right? You got to practice again. With someone just like you. Yeah,

Chris Dorris: 00:37:50

right. I think that's a compliment. You said that was just like me. That's nice. So um, yeah, we're doing the work. And again, I'll reiterate because it's worth it. If Devin Devin gets the work, okay, but if, for whatever reason, you know, when I say was the best damn thing could have happened, if he had said, or if he just felt like testing me for whatever reason? Like, how I would have said, well, I can I don't know exactly, but I can pretty much guess I'm gonna be using this story that this is going to become like, I'm going to use it in serving humans. And I would pay for that, you know, like, I would opt for that. So it really is the best thing. I mean, all of it. Like, it's just a good story. Especially when Devin walks in and can see it makes it even better. You know, it's just a cool story. It's real life. And it's fresh. There's no fabrication in it. And it is a perfect to answer to your important question, which is what's this practice?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:38:51

Yeah. And it's, it's also a great way to explain because a lot of people are under the false impression that like, coaches have it all together. And they're flawless. And they don't ever, you know, have low vibrations or unusable thoughts. And now, people know the rest of the story. And even you know, for readers of the book about being, you know, there could be an assumption because you and Steve have a long relationship coaching and otherwise, that you would have mastered being and, you know, the best part is mastering being is practicing. All the time. No seconds off.

Chris Dorris: 00:39:43

That's beautiful. And you're reminding me of a message. I just read Christopher Candido Christopher Kent. He's a member here. He's coached him for a while. He's a wizard. He's living down in Costa Rica. He wrote a beautiful book recently. She It's downstairs see? Ah, all right, I'm gonna give you the title fake and put it in the show notes. There's such an inherent paradox. His little book is amazing too. It's nice if you can read it in an afternoon. We want to read it slow though, because it says like columns and reflections that he's been writing for like the last three years. And it keeps coming back paradox that we've identified here, which is like, wishing I was further along

Unknown: 00:40:31

the same shit.

Chris Dorris: 00:40:33

We have a problem with who I am right now. So my practice and being there, I shouldn't be better. I shouldn't be further.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:40:39

You're practicing judgment. Yeah, that's not useful. I haven't felt you know what is useful? Talking about your shirt.

Chris Dorris: 00:40:51

Okay, so you don't have all these damn shirts? Right? Like this one. This one? This is Byron. Katie. One.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:40:58

No, it was a complete fun. Yeah, really originate that I think I

Chris Dorris: 00:41:04

even heard of credit, and maybe it's you. So um, but I gotta God knows right there all the mantras that I that we've been mentioning several of them here. And so I was going to wear one

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:41:19

for today. And two didn't find it.

Chris Dorris: 00:41:23

Well, what happened was, so I picked them, I grabbed them, right? This is from the clean laundry pile. Smells. And, and but the first one, I picked the same colors this. Okay, so I was this one. And I thought were wearing that. Because what happened was, so I give these out, right? I give these shirts, I wear them myself. It's fun as reminders to make your tools. You know, it's fun to see myself in the in the mirror or camera and just reading it and it becomes a point of conversation, including this one. So I decided I'll wear it because I ordered a whole bunch of these shirts. And I opened up the order one time. And sure enough, this damn thing was in there. So for people that are not watching this, it's a shirt that has a picture of a woman who she herself herself is like a cartoon is wearing a tiger shirt and Jean vest jacket over. And it says makes me want hot dog real bad. So here's here's the deal. So I didn't know what the hell I was looking at this and go in the actual app and what the hell was that? I didn't know what it was like to pick that. So it was just, you know, error. It got into the, you know, you get into the delivery to the order. Set aside where and have fun. So here's the deal, whoever emails me first, after this goes live, and can tell me what this is from. I will send you a present. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna send you a gift. That'd be nice. So again, it's a one and it says,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:43:14

makes me want a hot dog real that

Chris Dorris: 00:43:18

makes me want to have a real bad. So that's how she said, That's it. It's all good to know more. Okay.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:43:26

Just to be clear, anywhere in the world. So if like someone is

Chris Dorris: 00:43:30

gonna be it'll be something anywhere in the world, but it'll be it'll be a digital gift. So it doesn't matter where you're

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:43:34

okay, okay. Okay, thank you. That's super generous. I know that you also wanted to give some other stuff away. Or is that all we're giving away? Oh, what else? We had talked about, perhaps you're all in?

Chris Dorris: 00:43:51

Oh, absolutely. Everybody can have that. Okay. Oh, totally. 100% Yeah, so Oh, yeah. Okay, great. So, totally. Do you have the download link for that? I? If you don't, I mean, I'll just send

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:44:04

it to you. Just email it to me. Okay, so

Chris Dorris: 00:44:07

here's what here's what that is.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:44:09

Okay. So, um,

Chris Dorris: 00:44:11

so like 11 or 12 years ago, I guess it's 11 a half years ago now. Is when is when the TBL MIT NFL event occurred in Salt Lake City, right where Steve Hardison kicked my ass stage went a little overboard. ruin my favorite shirt. Since giving me about million articles of clothing with like Philly says we're good. But anyway, you know, I was working with C at the time, and that whole event, everything, like working with him, that event itself was very life altering for me. Really tremendous, so many, so many, so many ways. And I was really moved by how powerful we are when we get infinitely committed to something that became so fascinating. My man was already in the industry of like peak performance. This is like my, this is my jam. Like I love this. So I woke up two months after the TBO li T NFL event. Which by the way, if anybody's listening doesn't know what that means, that stands for the best offensive lineman in the National Football League. And if you just Google that, or go to YouTube and put that search in, you got yourself two hour and 10 minute golden video. So I woke up on Christmas Eve 2011 and was totally spirited. And just jumped up and grabbed my notes that I had been taking on what are we like when we are in the infinitely committed, or as I like to call it the all in state? Okay, and it's a state of mind that I've I studied human states, I studied human states and what states we're liking different states, and states that paralyze us and emotional states that haven't been amazing. And there's no state that I'm aware of, at this point that is more powerful than the old state for getting shit done. And get it done well, and get it done fast. And so what's unique about the Golden State is that when I'm infinitely committed for all in, then the possibility of failure is non existent in my field of consciousness, which is absolutely fascinating. I'm too busy doing what it takes to get the mission accomplished. To entertain failure, failure is non existent. It's not on the radar. Yeah. So that's some powerful stuff right there. Right. So I'm not setting goals mom and Yellen state the one of the distinctions is the difference between a goal and a decision, which is monumental. And the difference is that a goal leaves the door open for the possibility of failure, whereas the decision does not. So all in is the decision making state where I'm knowing they're hoping and that's a choice that we've been conditioned to believe we can make. Like one of the most powerful things that I believe we could do as humans to choose to know and know kn O W in advance that we're going to pull something off before we have any idea how.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:47:09

Chris, you are answering a question that I didn't ask in this interview, but a question that I had yesterday, was it yesterday? What was I reading? I was thinking about how to how to be in the knowing of something so I don't have to make myself believe it. Oh, you're answering that question.

Chris Dorris: 00:47:34

Knowing Kenneth W ng is just another state so it's just like it's just another state just like doubting yeah and we have access to every state that exists yeah and every moment of our life I'll either think my way No But alright, so knowing is available option just on the menu like you said it's on the menu, but I've been conditioned to believe it in so how can I just know I can just go just go start my own coaching practice to thrive How can I know that why wouldn't you know that starting going in that it's going to be enormously lucrative and beautiful and rewarding? Why would you not why would you choose to bring anything other than knowing into that and the answer is good condition to so we don't have to do that. So the all in program I was in the social I woke up that Christmas Eve morning and I had the only recording apparatus I have tonight was a little handheld Tasco voice recorder oh wow little piece of crap. And and I had a I haven't had like an easel like a little artists easel you know, I don't know what and and a comforter and this this exactly. Okay, my childhood. Ah, well I know those cues are banged up it's cool. So So I brought this underneath I had the comforter over hanging over the turn on the lights I could see my nose and I turned on the Tascam voice recorder and just start riffing and I was in the so wow because I it's like nine tracks are recorded them bam bam bam one after the other no editing needed. Wow. I've recorded a whole lot of content since then. A lot. Yeah, never repeated that kind of like

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:49:24

zone little divine download. Oh, toll. Wow. Oh,

Chris Dorris: 00:49:29

it was like seriously was flown to the point where I was done and when I finished

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:49:34

what just happened?

Chris Dorris: 00:49:37

The only editing was like cutting off the ends, you know, the beginning again. There was no no editing needed in it. So anyway, it's one of the greatest works of my life. Easily one of the top three, and I would love to share with everybody.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:49:54

It's your opportunity to do that again. Okay, great. I will put that in the show notes also You know what, Chris, it's always awesome to spend time with you. Well, thank you so much, Chris, for being here. And for those of you who listen to this and gain something, reach out to Chris, tell him about it. And, more importantly, share with another.

Chris Dorris: 00:50:20

I want to also invite everyone to sign up for, you know, one of the I've mentioned all ends one of the top three things. One of the other two is about to be released, which is my next book, which is entitled, The Book of mental toughness mantras. It's in its editing stage, but the other is called the Daily Dose. And the daily dose is an email, I've been doing it for probably four years. Now that goes out. If you sign up for it, it's called a daily dose mental toughness tips in 30 seconds or less. So it's my it's my pet project of life. And really, that's like, I love it so much, because, you know, put in during the hours of taking these mental toughness constructs and concepts, disciplines, practices, techniques, ideas, and reducing them down to like their neutron star level density. So you could consume it in the moment, and have it be simple and profound, and digestible and immediately useful. So that's what so when you get on that list that you get one of those every morning around six or 7am, wherever you are on the planet. And after a couple of years, a few people suggested Why don't you make a book out of that? So I didn't so just took the first 365 and made a book, but what I'm inviting people to get onto the email. It's just going to my website, Christopher doors.com. And right on the homepage, there on the right hand side, you can put your name, email and sign up and get the goodies.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:51:45

Yeah, that is the light that you you do want to wake up in the morning and read that every morning. So thank you. All right. Well, thank you for, for being you and for sharing your time with us.

Chris Dorris: 00:51:58

Thanks for creating this opportunity for all you do my friend.