The Transformative Power of Being Fully Present - Martine Cannon

Meredith Bell: 00:00:04

Amy, thank you for tuning in to The Ultimate Coach podcast, a companion to the transformative book The Ultimate Coach written by Amy Hardison and Alan D Thompson, each conversation is designed to be a powerful wake up call, reminding us of what's possible for you and your life. So if you're on a journey to expand your state of being, this podcast is for you.

Meredith Bell: 00:00:37

I'm so glad you've joined me for this episode of The Ultimate Coach Podcast. I'm Meredith Bell, and today I am joined by our guest, Martine Cannon. Martine, welcome to the show.

Martine Cannon: 00:00:51

Thank you, Meredith, lovely to be here.

Meredith Bell: 00:00:53

I'm so looking forward to our conversation today. Martine will be very familiar to those of you who've attended the ultimate experience events in Arizona and in the UK, because she's been one of the speakers there. Martin's work for the past 20 years has focused on consulting with executives in some of the world's largest companies, and she focuses on leadership and organization development. This is a woman who is so impactful that she's known as the CEO whisperer, new clients come to her as a result of her current clients singing her praises. Martine has profound insights that help her clients transform as individuals and as a company, and I'm so excited that she's going to be here today sharing her wisdom with us. So Martine, let's jump in by asking you to share a little bit about your journey to the work you do today and how you learned about the being movement.

Martine Cannon: 00:01:56

Thank you. Meredith, got a lot of places with the with the journey, but I think I'll start. I'm Australian born, and I would say back my my key moment that stands out for me. When I was about the age of 15, I had a appetite very early on to understand the world and to understand myself, my inner world, as well as the outer world. So I began learning to meditate at the age of 15, so and I discovered that was incredibly hard, and I learned about, you know, the monkey mind, but deep, but deeper than that, over the years, I think what I discovered was that despite my best efforts to control life and control things on the outside, I had no hope of achieving that, but what I could do was sense and experience an inner world that had a different level of depth and connection and calmness, that I could rely on and trust. So I think that was a very earliest seed for me. And beyond that, I mean, I worked in business for many years. I was MD of a finance organization in the UK for a number of years, and grew that to a 50 million pound business. And then I went on to really look at taking that on as a career. So I worked as a coach, a consultant to back then, sort of mid to semi large organizations. And now I work for I support CEOs, global CEOs for companies that, on average, are about 300 million to 3 trillion. Yeah, sizable organizations working with CEOs and their top top team and next two tiers down. But my work's not really in business coaching, per se. It's much more about the inner transformational journey, because I think through my own experience, I've learned that whatever I can transform on the inside and make possible inside of me will show up on the outside. So working really with people in business who need to create, whether it be shifts and changes in industry or shifts and changes in themselves to be able to take on bigger projects or the seemingly impossible. That's what I support them with. Is like, who and how do you be on the inside that you could be that on the outside for what needs to happen?

Meredith Bell: 00:04:15

It's so powerful, and it's so congruent with what we hear in the ultimate coach book, in all aspects, really, of the being community. How did you learn about the being community? It sounds like it was very congruent with the work you are doing. Anyway,

Martine Cannon: 00:04:34

I had a coaching journey with Steve for two years, and I came to him actually was my husband back then, who showed me his website. And there was all these testimonials on Steve hardison's website about what he was doing, who he was coaching. And in a way, I thought, Who is this man who calls himself the ultimate coach? Like, who does he think he is? And I messaged him straight away and said. Like to I'm interested in finding out more about you and what you do. And within I think 20 minutes, I had a message back, which surprised me. And within two hours time, he'd sent me his phone number and said, call me up and let's have a conversation. So I phoned him up and we had a brief conversation, and he invited me to Arizona. I live in the UK, and he said, Come and have a be with session with me. So I think it was a week later, I turned up in Arizona and had a session with him, and led by, I would say, now more my arrogance and my ignorance of really the work that Steve was doing. So I was, I didn't think he was a very good coach the first session that I had with him, but there was something, you know, that was really what my head was telling me. So I came into that session with him in judgment, trying to work out, who is he, what's he doing? And there was another more powerful message going on, which was in my heart. And all I felt from him was unconditional love, acceptance. So I had judgment going on in my heart. Could nearly weep with the with the feeling that I was having that he really was Love, openness and acceptance. I couldn't, I couldn't find a meeting place between these two, but my heart was the stronger message. So I went back to Steve and said I'd like to be a client, and traveled back and forth every two weeks from the UK, which I wouldn't recommend for your health, but it was a profound journey that I had with him, and I really believe he was pivotal for me. I've done many, many, many things in my life, I've really been a, you know, following transformational work forever. But the message that I got from Steve was there's something to pay attention to in the area of unconditional love and acceptance. And he really helped me journey to the place, which I'd now call meeting my soul, meeting the place of loving, unconditional acceptance and peace inside my heart, inside my soul, be grateful. Yeah.

Meredith Bell: 00:07:07

It is so powerful. We just recently EPEC Williamson, Nicole must and I had a conversation with Steve for Episode 111 and we felt that from him in that conversation, that unconditional love, that's been a consistent experience of people who interact with him thinking about the work you're doing with clients. How do you bring that unconditional love to them? Because we think of the business world as, you know, in one way, any times, but in reality, I think one of your probably gifts in working with clients is helping them see their whole selves. Yeah, and that the inner work and the the moving towards that place of unconditional love for themselves and for others. Talk a little bit about how your work aligns with that.

Martine Cannon: 00:08:04

Yeah, I'd have to say it's a it's a natural state of being for me now to be truly open hearted. And I was only having a conversation with a client this morning, female CEO, and one of the things that she said to me was that in the work that I did with her, she said one of the foundations of why the work was so successful was because of your trust. And she said it was a trust that you had in me. And really, I think it's more than trust. It's like that, the love for the other person and and I find that actually is very easy and it's a natural state, because when you when you see and love the other person for exactly who they are and as they are as they're showing up, you allow and create a space for them to do the same. So when they feel that they can show up and bring any emotion, any judgment that they have, exactly what Steve did to me. You know, I could bring all of it, my judging mind, my insecurities, my, you know, all of the emotions from anything from fear to being scared to being overwhelmed, all of those things. Then you create container of safety and trust, and in that space, miracles happen because people are able to see, feel and experience, that all of them can be included in that conversation. And I think that's really rare today, where we spend so much time being fearful. Fearful. Are we enough? What are other people going to think of me? You know, am I too much? Am I too big? Am I not enough? We have so many of these insecurities. So to be physically in relationship with another person that holds a space for themselves, but also for you to host everything that is showing up is a deep bow to the fact that nothing. That anyone shows up with is not okay. It's it's more than that. It's not even it's not okay. It's actually important to be able to embrace all of that, so that we can relax enough to contact the deeper part of ourselves, the authentic soul in ourselves that is dying to come through and express itself. So in every person you know, our soul is waiting to be brought forward. It's waiting to have it say. It's waiting to express itself. But it's our fear and our judgment, our ego and super ego, that can drown it out and put it in the background. So yeah, I just find it's a natural way of being for me, and I think I welcome that with others.

Meredith Bell: 00:10:43

It's so powerful. It speaks as I'm listening to you to just your presence with that other person. And I'm imagining some of our listeners are thinking, wow, I'd like to show up that way with each person in my life, because we all have judgments about ourselves, about others, and it's not easy to develop that practice of coming with an open heart, as you said. And I'm curious if there are ways that you kind of set the table with a client early on, so they almost immediately feel safe you to be open with you. Can you talk about how you're being with them? Yeah, that invites that openness on their part.

Martine Cannon: 00:11:34

Yeah, it's a beautiful question. So I think I noticed what I'm always having a conversation with three parts of the person, parts is not even the right things, three aspects of an individual's experience. So first aspect is the conversation or the narrative that they're presenting to me, which normally is, you know, this is why I'm here for coaching. This is the problem, etc. So I'm, I'm acknowledging and being with the story that they have about themselves and their life circumstances. And the second part is there's the emotional dimension going on, that as they're telling that they have certain feelings that I can feel, the dialoguing with them to say, you know, I noticed that I feel as you as I hear you talk about this, and by presenting the experience of the feeling that I feel as I as I with them, it brings that dimension of their experience into the conversation. So most times, people are trying to push the emotions out and act as if I got it sorted. I'm rational, you know, I know what's going on, but what they're doing is they're cutting out an essential part of who they are. So by walking that in, it creates trust, it increases their level of authenticity, because another dimension of their experience is welcome. And then the third level, which not many coaches, I think, do, and I think is essential in our work, is to is to notice how their nervous system is speaking to my nervous system. So what we know now is that our nervous systems co regulate. So if somebody, for example, in an executive meeting walks in and they're super stressed, you will notice very quickly that everybody's nervous system will up regulate, and everyone will start to speak faster, move faster, start to talk in things like we have to do this. We should be doing this. We're not doing this. And what's happening is the nervous systems are speaking to one another, and this is below the level of our conscious awareness, so we're not even aware that our nervous system is signaling either stress or safety. So what I do is I I feel and connect with the individual's nervous system, and I speak to and I work at the pace of that person's nervous system. And when you speak and pace another person's nervous system, what that does is you have the ability to start to co regulate, which basically means help somebody relax their nervous system. And if you think about that, being in relationship with another person can be safe or it can be scary, and if I feel scared with another person, I'll start defending, justifying, going up in my head and creating a story about who I am and how I need to be but if I feel safe, everything starts to relax. I can welcome in all of my emotions. I can have tears, for example, and not be critical. I can have the story. So that's really what I'm always looking at, in terms of creating a container where those three aspects, this is based on trying brain theory behind all of this, that all of these evolutionary impulses are at play. There's a nervous system, fight, flight, freeze, form response happening. There's the limbic system, the emotions happening, and there's cognition happening. So if I can talk to and relate to. And these three elements, there's nothing that can't be here with us in the room.

Meredith Bell: 00:15:07

You know, the whole thing of talking with or connecting with another person's nervous system, it had a calming effect on me, just hearing you describe that, because we often aren't as aware of what's going on with that other person we have. I'm imagining a, you know, a conversation we need to have with somebody, either at work or at home, and we're busy in our heads, thinking about what we want to say, how we want to say it, anticipating what their reaction might be, and all these things that are busy, busy in our minds. And it's, it's an interesting practice to get to that second aspect of the person to detect what their feelings are. Yeah, it's another whole level of of practice and learning to really be paying attention and present. And what's occurring to me is how you can't be in your head thinking about what you're going to be saying if you're really focused on that second and third level of what's happening with that other person.

Martine Cannon: 00:16:25

Yeah, so beautiful that you say that because I think what I've 20 years now, I've been working as a as a coach, and if I look back to what I thought a coach was 20 years ago, it was about giving people ideas and changing beliefs, and, you know, installing strategies and all these sorts of things. So it was something about, I had to give something to them. I had to, you know, put something into them that they didn't have. And over the years, I moved to the state of recognizing that the person has absolutely everything that they need. Their soul has its unique, individual, authentic journey to travel it's different to mine. So it's to really bow down and honor that they have everything that they need, and it's my job to hold a space for them to be as as open and attuned to the possibility of experiencing the wholeness and completeness that is then underneath the judgments and the assumptions and biases and everything else, which requires of me that I can be a space of just like Steve, openness, lovingness, free of judgment myself and in a in a state of my authenticity and connected With My Soul, so we can be an adult with one another in our nature together. So, yeah, it's it's our work. I think I say, as for the coaches and consultants and anyone working with other people, our work needs to be on ourselves, so that we can be as clear and clean and open as possible, so we can really, finally attune and tune into these subtle dimensions and cues that are always going on. So that can't be up in my head, because then I'm, I'm just ahead on a, you know, on a stick, yeah.

Meredith Bell: 00:18:14

Just feels like there's this progression towards the focus being so much on that other person and what you're noticing at various levels about their state of being, yeah, in that moment, and then being able to respond to that in the moment without prescribed ideas about, you know, their next step, for example, because you can't know that going into the conversation

Martine Cannon: 00:18:49

Exactly. And even if I think that I'm knowing those next steps here, it's just a clear sign that I've lost connection with myself, and then, because I've gone up into my into my thinking, and it the, you know, transformation. It emerges in a moment. It's literally, you can't know what it's going to be. All you can do is, like presence, the moment with the other person, and take that tiniest little step, and you're adjusting and attuning right to that moment. And then something will happen that is totally unpredictable. And it's the same with ourselves. It's like, as you work on your inner transformation, you can never know what's going to happen. Your head will tell you that you know what's going to happen and how it should happen. It never happens that way, ever. It's all it is always more of a surprise. It's more mind blowing, it's more satisfying, it's more fulfilling, it's more enriching the way that it turns up. You know, that's the beauty of life,

Meredith Bell: 00:19:42

yeah. And the word that's coming to mind as you're describing that is allowing, you know, allowing the other person to simply be where they are without any preconceived ideas of where they ought to be. And same with us, and I was. Applying this to myself as I was listening to you, because sometimes we can get in our heads, and while we're trying to stay open to hearing ideas, if we're really still in our heads, wanting a prescription to come to our minds or something else, we're kind of closing the door to the possibilities that could occur to us if we truly relax into the moment.

Martine Cannon: 00:20:27

Yeah, and that's what that you know, I think in the in the being movement that we're talking about, it points to that thing I think we spoke about the other day, is like you can't do being so if you're thinking your way forward, or strategizing your way forward, you are in the space of doing, which is not being. You know being is is like a is the technical word, ontological position, but it's the, it's what is emerging right here, right now that I want to be as open and connected with as possible. And so it's like a moment to moment to moment arising. And you know, I know we started off talking about people in business. That doesn't mean that you don't have a business strategy. It doesn't mean you don't have a plan and an org chart and everything like that. But there's times where you want to have those plans, and there's times where you want to be, especially with human beings. You want to be in connection in the moment when a senior executive team needs to think through something together, that is, they're facing an uncertainty and an unknown. They don't need plans and ideas. They need to be in the uncertainty together in a relaxed enough way and dialog in a more immediate way, so that they can harness the collective capacity of the group to come up with an idea, a way forward that will be unique to that group of people. It won't be sitting in somebody's mind as the answer, the right answer. They will get together, literally forge it together, if they can hold that yes, act of openness.

Meredith Bell: 00:22:03

Well, that makes me think, because often in the workplace, we have more than one on one conversations. We are in meetings. We're in discussions with a group of people. And so I'm guessing you facilitate some of these conversations, and then some of those. I'm also guessing there's probably at least one individual who's more in their head and maybe is resistant to this approach to being that you're describing. And I'd love to hear you talk about, how do you facilitate the process when you sense the nervous system of someone else or the feelings of someone else that is out of alignment with where the group is as a whole, wanting to go?

Unknown: 00:22:52

Yeah, great, great, great question. It's fascinating. And I love this work. So there's only a couple of days that started this week in Vienna, working with a with a team, where we're working on exactly that. So what you'll generally find is people call it trust. You know, they use a like, when a team is really able to be together and be relaxed together, they'll say, It's trust, okay? And they're right. It's like, actually, what they're doing is they're trusting themselves to be able to sit with other people in a state of uncertainty or anxiety, or, you know, what is not known, and they're trusting others to be able to do the same. But how do you get there when somebody can't, you know, there's we all have defensive reactions to what it is that we we can't, we're not willing to feel. So let's use uncertainty as an example. If you have somebody who uncertainty as a feeling is scary to them, and it will be linked to their upbringing. There would have been, for example, with mom and dad at home. There might have been significant moments of uncertainty, and the child will experience it's not safe to be in an environment of uncertainty. So we'll create a defense mechanism, ie, for example, going up into the head and becoming smart or knowledgeable or knowing at all as a defense to sitting in what they couldn't sit in as a young child, which was the ongoing experience of uncertainty and anxiety. So what you want to do with groups of people, individuals or groups of people, is acknowledge the rightness of the defense. So rather than making it wrong and saying right, we need to not be, for example, up in our heads and just talking about thinking is to really acknowledge that that is that was for them, and is a valuable way to manage uncertainty and anxiety, and then they can learn from the strategy that they have is hugely empowering for them and keeps them safe. And then the question is, do I need it now? Do I need to convince you all that I know the way forward, so that I don't need to listen to everyone else? Or can I actually just. Must allow in this moment of time to welcome in slightly more, little bit, little bit more uncertainty as I sit and listen to all the other team members here, can I relax into that so still have the safety of using the defense mechanism? I have a view on idea, on a plan, and I like all of that, but I can also welcome in feeling it's okay right now to have a little bit more uncertainty and stay with it. And that's our job as as team coaches, is to support individuals to really work at the edge and create the conditions that they can they can safely and comfortably experience more of those feelings that were too much for them as a child now, and that's part of the maturation journey. You know, there's getting old and there's maturing. Not many people achieve both. But what we're looking for is, is that capacity to have people feel a little bit safer, a little bit safer to do that, and then you can use mechanisms in a team, like, you know, balcony moments, where they can learn as a team what they've done better, and they might acknowledge that actually, you know, they stayed more open, they spoke more truths than they normally was. They were able to receive somebody's commentary on them without moving into a defensive reaction, and together, over time, that team learns to hold a greater empathy and compassion and contact on us for staying with the real, which would be, in this case, staying with the anxiety and uncertainty that might have been there for 123, people, and at every moment, somebody have a different emotion going on. So we're again, same as the individual, welcoming all of those in honoring the defense mechanisms, not making them wrong and telling them there should be a certain way which eases the system, and that's a team's journey, and they do once they understand each other's history, which is a big part of a team journey. What's the what's somebody's upbringing being like, what shaped them into the leader that they are today? That has them be highly intellectual but scared of being uncertain. And when they see that, they go, gosh, I've got empathy for you. I had no idea that's what you were contending with in your upbringing. And I tell you, everyone's got a story of what they had to contend with in some way, shape or form.

Meredith Bell: 00:27:14

Just thinking about the invitation to encourage them to open up. It takes skill to ask the question, especially in a group setting, I'm guessing, so that they feel valued and not judged or criticized in any way. And I would love to hear you talk about some of the things that you do, because I'm thinking about all of us have an individual or even a group where it's tough to get that openness, and so what do you do to invite the person that you sense is resisting, or, I'll just use that word in general, but not following along, or, you know, holding up their hand and going, No, I'm not ready for this. What's the invitation you extend that helps them get into the relaxing of their nervous system so they're more open and able to hear?

Martine Cannon: 00:28:12

Yeah. So a couple of things to that I always find with any team that I work with, it's important to have a one on one with each person so that I can tune into them, their history, their nervous systems, their emotions, and signal to them it's safe for you to be here with me, like I get you, and you get me, and I'll take a lot of time with each individual to understand who they are and where they're coming From. So I want to, I want to hold their hearts in the team meeting, like it's a sacred bond, in a way, that you have with each person. And then the second thing would be, if that, if that person shows any resistance, it's that resistance, in a way, is protecting something that's really important to them. That's it, and to honor what it is that they're protecting. So I remember being in a group situation. Was a large group, actually, with 50 odd people, and there was we were talking, the conversation was about morals and ethics, which is always a challenging topic to talk about in a group, because everybody has different morals and ethics. And this one fellow wouldn't stop interrupting the entire group. 50 we couldn't move on, because he was adamant that, you know, this case study that we're working on, that people hadn't understood the importance of his perspective, and he wouldn't let it go. And so the intervention, which I did with him was just to call out in front of the group. Right now, in this moment, I feel how much you care. I'm not sure why you care about this, but I know for a fact right now that you care more about us getting this than anybody else in this room. And what it transpired to and I said, What do you want us? To know about, like, why you care about this so much? Like, what is it? And then it turned out the moral issue was that his son had been hit in a hit and run car accident, and we were talking about safety issues in a business, and the morals and ethics around honoring safety issues in a business. So he was able to share his story about what happened and the importance of people really taking care in the little, everyday things that they do. So it shared that story in the group. In short, there was not one single person in that group of 50 people there that was then upset with him that he wouldn't let us move on, but we had to honor his like there's a reason for it. So I think that's that thing. It's like, if you can, if you can, not just focus see the behavior that the individual has, but go deeper than that and go, Why would? Why would that? In what context does that behavior make sense? In that context, when you lose a child, it makes absolute sense. Why we need to pay attention and talk about safety in the workplace, because someone might not come home, yeah? Validating everyone, whatever they come up, even if it shows up as annoying or distracting or changes the agenda, validate it. Hear it, and something greater will open. That's even more than your agenda moving forward, yeah,

Meredith Bell: 00:31:19

Thank you for sharing that example, it's, it's so profound to not take at face value what you're seeing and and, like you say, feel these impatient, annoyed, you know, feelings that then get in the way of exploring what's really behind it. And I think that can happen to us so easily in conversations we have, especially with those who we're close to, and we make assumptions based on our past experience with them about why they're doing something or pushing for something, instead of pausing to ask or observe like you did. You care about this more than anyone else. You were affirming what he was doing. And I think that protecting of the person's dignity, yes, it's so critical to having them feel safe.

Martine Cannon: 00:32:19

Yeah, and everyone, every behavior, it gives you a window into that person's history, and it's never there. There may be annoying behaviors and disrupt that we are if we stay at the level of behavior, we will judge it, because it can be really annoying, but it's a window into somebody's unique history, and it's, you know, that's the missing context, and that's different to the point that you brought up about colluding with people. So I think colluding with somebody will always come back to me, where I happen, but I feel in some way obliged to collude with them. So it's going to link in with my story, in some way, my sense of belonging, that I would need to work on what's happening in me that I need to collude with that person. Because when you come in and you're supporting a team, you are a truly independent individual, you operate on behalf of every single person in that group, not just, for example, the CEO who you know brings you in and pays your bill, you operate on behalf of everyone in that in that circle. So if something triggers me and I'm thinking right, I need to collude and affirm or stand alongside that person. I have to look at what's going on inside of me. Where's my unique history showing up, where I then fear that in some way I'm going to lose belonging, or I'm going to lose face or credibility, or whatever it is, unless I do this, and you can generally feel that going on. You can feel that you are leaving your integrity and your authenticity. And if you can catch that in the moment and presence, presence yourself, and do exactly the same thing I'm talking about doing with a client, say, right, okay, what's the emotion that's here for me right now. Oh, I feel some fear. Okay, what's happening in my nervous system? Oh, I'm feeling upregulated, and I'll often do things that calm the nervous system. So touch is one. So, like we touch a baby when it's when it's crying, and that's the signal to the nervous system, it's safe. So, you know, with myself, I may do this, which is I'm just I feel the contact and nervous system calms, and then I can feel the anxiety and make space for the anxiety and welcome it, and very quickly, can come back to center and be back in a position that you can support the group, not end up being safe yourself, which is a bad result.

Meredith Bell: 00:34:44

This, taking a moment to pause and get in touch, because what you were just describing in terms of, what am I feeling, what's happening with my nervous system, and then touching, you, know, putting, laying your hand on your chest to to you. Have that calmness that can take place in just a few seconds, the more we practice it right, and the ability to have that awareness in the moment, like you say, to be fully present with ourselves and what our response is to what we're hearing. I think it would be fascinating to have you share. I know you said you had just been talking to a couple of your clients earlier today for you to share, what are some of the kinds of transformations you have seen, you've observed in them, as you have taken this approach in the way you are being with them, and the insights, the ideas, the ahas that they get as a result of their work with you.

Martine Cannon: 00:35:50

So they're gonna give you a massive Encyclopedia of things, because everybody's different, but I'll just draw on a couple of them, and yeah, which there's so many, and they're very beautiful and very, very touching to have the gift of working with people on re, it's re contacting the parts of themselves that they've lost contact with, and that that's really the process of what it is that I'm doing with them. And I've, I'm thinking about a fellow CEO of a, what's about $100 billion business at the moment super, super bright fellow, and he runs a team where most people will really want his time, energy and attention because of how smart he is, but most people are terrified of him. So now that he runs, he runs a team of people. You can't have a team of people who are scared of you. You know that are fearful of you. So he would say to me, I don't understand why they won't speak to me. I don't understand why they won't come to me. I want to help them. And the transformation that we had with him was for him to be able to recognize and experience that people don't want to be with him just because he's smart, but that's the that's the whole setup. He got the job because he is super smart, but it's not what he wants to be known for as being super smart. That's a nice thing, but actually it discounts who he actually is, without him needing to be smart. So we really worked on what is it like for him to come back in contact with being able to feel that he belongs as a member of that team, he's also the leader, but as a member of the team, in his belonging without needing to be the smartest person in the room. So it was a journey for him to to experience it's actually vulnerable to not hold the mantle of being the smartest person as the room is the reason why I belong. It can be what I bring, but it's not the reason why I belong. And I had to work with him to be able to experience how can he safely connect with other people? And when I say connect, I don't just mean connect in terms of have a conversation, is feel that he is actually able to stay in contact with another person without needing to have an answer or be bright. Now for him, that might small, but once you can feel your belonging with other people, everything in your relaxes, because you know you have a right to be, and that's what you know, that what we're working on in the being movement is our right to be without being anything else, without being smart, without being the loudest person in the room, without being charismatic. It's our right to be. So that was his transformation, and now I can I've never seen somebody do as fast or radical a transformation as him, but now he is welcoming in every single conversation with each person in the room, whether it be, you know, the other week talking about okay everybody here is burnt out and lacking in resilience. It's not okay for us to hit our target, but burn people out. Because if that's what we have to do for us to belong here in a room and be together, that's not okay. So here's a he is a really a stand for people being together first and foremost, bringing the issues that we need to talk about, but being all of ourselves in the process and bringing it forward. So people are now bringing all the conversations forward that they have, including one woman whose daughter has self harm issues. She's bringing all of that into the team, all of that gets talked about. They talk about parenting together, what it's like to be fearful about not parenting well, and being a working mom or dad and constantly awake. All of these things come into the group space now because they have created a circle where all of their lives are welcome now that supercharges the work that they do as an executive team. Literally, you would think it would get in the way of it as supercharged that they would do anything for each other. And before that, they're in internal competition, working in silos together, competing for who's going to be next in line for the job. Now they show up 100% there for each individual. So that'd be one example. That's certainly the view one anymore.

Meredith Bell: 00:40:18

Yeah, that is so powerful. And I think that kind of specificity is helpful for us to picture. You know what good things come from actually being able to and I love what you said. You know this our right to be and recognizing that in each person we interact with and so not taking at face value or superficially who they appear to be in that moment, exactly, seeing them as capable and loving them in the moment, no matter what they're presenting to us

Martine Cannon: 00:41:00

Exactly and actually Meredith, we only get, we only experience beingness, our right to be through others. It's kind of ironic, and it goes back to very important thing that you know, when we're a baby and we're born, the first person that we're with is a mother. And there's that, you know, that intimate relationship that you have with a nursing child, where they they feel and sense that there is two okay they feel and sense that there's two and anything as you grow up is normally a rupture away from somehow not being okay or good enough in the eyes of the parent. So our being, it's hardwired into us, that actually if, if you signal to me that my being exactly as I am is okay, then I feel that I get the stimulus that it's okay in me, and then I can feel that to you, and it goes back and forth. But we are essential to each other. Nobody can feel a sense of being and belonging on their own, we require the other person to collect and mirror that back to us, and that's why, you know, in today's day and age, with everything going on, one of the most important things that we can do is is really weave in this deep understanding of where we come From, that we come from relationship. We grow in relationship, in relationship. We're never really doing it on our own, and if we are, we're doing it out of ego to to try and, in essence, come back to gaining some belonging, back into relationship with other people, because we fear I'm need to do more, or be more, or whatever, in order for you to love me and accept me. It's the other way around. We've got to be together, and then we can do all of those things on top of it, but not out of fear, out of love, connection and unity.

Meredith Bell: 00:42:51

That makes so much sense. And you know, I think it would be interesting routine to kind of wrap up reflecting on where we are in this moment in history, but in our respective countries, there's a lot of turmoil going on in the world, a lot of uncertainty. And I would love for you to share what each of our listeners can do to stay grounded, to do that internal work that allows them to be calm and at peace no matter what's going on in the external world.

Martine Cannon: 00:43:27

Yeah, yeah. Probably most important question about time right now, slow down would be the first thing so under under stress and under threat, we experience different things as being stressful or threatening. There's a way in which we cope with it, which is to speed up and disconnect from people. So is it? Very pragmatic. Fundamental things is we can slow down. We can slow down the way we do everything the way I get dressed in the morning, walking to work, doing whatever it is, will help me start to feel and be a little bit more embodied, not bring my energy up and out and into my thinking head. That would be the first one. The second one. I mean meditation, I think, is an essential practice for us in day to day life. If that's something that listeners have enough time for. But the other thing is being sensitive to other people, so not taking looking at behaviors and judging people on behaviors, but being sensitive to how they're feeling, how's that person feeling, where are they coming from in themselves, and being sensitive to that that sometimes we're at our best and sometimes we're not at our best, and being sensitive and non judgmental to it. And then I think the final thing is creating communities together, like creating safe spaces and communities where we can come together and we can share and talk not about what's going on in the world. Not because we can get into mass dialog about how bad things are or scary they are, but about how we feel and how we are experiencing what's happening, and allow every person to have space just to share the effects of what's going on. So we hold a space of presence of witness, like they used to do in, you know, talking circles in tribes allow people to talk about that, so they can bring their full reality into the space, and space can hold what we can't hold individually on our own. That's why teams are more powerful than individuals. The community is more powerful than individuals, Because together, we can hold way more, and we can be a space of loving, empathy and witnessing for one of one another. Yeah, create sacred spaces communities to contain

Meredith Bell: 00:45:46

All four of those are really powerful in and of themselves and combined, I think can transform our own inner beings in our way of being. And as you were describing that fourth one on community, I was circling back in my head to what you were saying about the team that learned to really bring their whole selves to the team, and as a result, they always have each other's back. They're, you know, in this together, and the energy moving forward is so powerful, I would think and positive no matter what was happening out in outside of their business, and the same thing for us, no matter what's happening outside of the world, doing these practices that you've just suggested can keep us in a place of calmness so we can respond more appropriately in a way that is helpful to us and is also helpful to those we impact,

Martine Cannon: 00:46:47

Yeah, and Meredith, it brings us closer to what we spoke about earlier, our authentic self, you know? And that's why it's calm, because I'm in contact, if I'm in my ego state, it's anxious because my ego is like a blueprint or a replica of something that's essential. So it was designed to, it's like, you know, it's designed to keep us safe the the ego. But actually it does that through approximation, because it can't feel the ground of its being, so therefore it has to do it. This is the doing over being. And actually, if I can, if I can be in these communities and spaces and contact with myself, I get closer to who I really am. And we know when we're closer to it, because we feel ourselves. I feel my emotions, I feel relaxed, I can feel my breath. I can move at a different pace. And that's actually I'm in contact with the self, my true self, my true nature. That's what's relaxing is being in her, in in this body, in my home, with something no and there's so much out there in the world that I don't know. The one thing I can come back to is I know who I am, I know what I'm feeling. I know what's going on for me. And that's what's relaxing to us. If I get out into the unknowns, I get destabilized, and I've got to come back here. I'm never going to solve everything out there. I can only come back here, and then I can, you know, feel my stability and safety and belonging here, and then I can go and take action out in the world and do my bit to to change what needs to be changed. But we never change anything from fear, we only change it from Peace, love and acceptance in ourselves

Meredith Bell: 00:48:27

So powerful and such a powerful way to draw our conversation to a close. Martina, I want to just acknowledge all the wisdom you've acquired and have lived and have shared with us today, I can see why you have that phrase that others call you the CEO whisperer, because there's a powerful and gentle, loving way that you are working with clients that is so inviting, and I feel that you brought that to us today in this conversation, you have a loving, inviting spirit that is encouraging us to see ourselves, experience ourselves as we truly are, and not the stories we've told ourselves, but to slow down, get quiet enough so that can we can really genuinely appreciate and love the person we are. So thank you for the gift of you today.

Martine Cannon: 00:49:34

Perfect summary. Sorry. Meredith, it was beautiful. It's been lovely. I thank you for the invitation to be with you our conversations that we've had, and I also honor your work as well, creating this opportunity for everyone who's listening to be and learn and connect together as a community. It's important.

Meredith Bell: 00:49:55

Thank you. I look forward to continuing our conversation. And separately,

Martine Cannon: 00:50:01

Me too.

Meredith Bell: 00:50:01

Thank you so much for today.

Martine Cannon: 00:50:03

Thank you.

Meredith Bell: 00:50:06

Thank you for joining us today. If there's someone you know who could benefit from this conversation, please share this episode with them. Also check out our website, being movement.com, you'll find valuable resources and links to connect to an engaging and wonderfully supportive community. Together, we can inspire and support each other on the path to a greater understanding of being until next time, take care and be kind to yourself and.