Can a Book Save Your Marriage? - Lindsay Gilman

TUCP Intro/Outro: 00:00:08

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach Podcast conversations from being inspired by the book The Ultimate coach written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply, visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from being

Philippe Bartu: 00:00:48

Welcome back to The Ultimate Coach Podcast. My name is Philip Bartu. Joining me today is the wonderful Lindsay Gilman. Hello, Lindsey. Hello, wonderful to have you here with us. Lindsay is a trauma therapist, a holistic health practitioner and calibration coach. And when you feel her, you just feel her passion about the miraculous power of the body to heal itself. And one of the things that I have gotten to love about Lindsey and the few conversations we've I've got to enjoy with her. Is there something in me that feels like something has been healed, or even a part of me that I didn't even know needed to be healed? heals and it's like, there's a lightness to me just from being in her presence. So I invite you to join us in exploring who Lindsay is. And just this lightness of being that she brings with her and to those who get to experience her. So what a gift you are. Thank you for being here today.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:02:02

Thank you so much, Philip. It's such an honor. I wouldn't want anyone else to have a conversation with today.

Philippe Bartu: 00:02:09

Well, I'm excited. Thank you. And I know that there's been this has been a real journey for you. This podcast is really about connecting with people who have been very impacted by either Steve Hardison, or the book, The Ultimate coach. And I know when you came across this book, this was tough to actually I don't even know, tell me about how did you actually get a book

Lindsay Gilman: 00:02:37

in your hand? Yeah, yeah, it's actually it felt very random. I was scrolling Facebook one day, and I got an invite to join the ultimate coach Facebook group. And I clicked it and hopped in and started scrolling through the through the group. And what I was reading was like nothing else I'd ever read before I these posts were just on another level, the depth of what people were discussing and reading about being in a reading about this guy named Steve Hardison. And then there's all these acronyms that people were using it. I had no idea who Steve Hardison was. And so I just kept kind of lurking in there for a couple of days. And I decided to introduce myself, I wanted to get to know more of, of these people sharing about me, I remember

Philippe Bartu: 00:03:40

your introduction video, which was something that totally shook me and I ran over to get my wife and said, watch this. So So with With your permission, I mean, yeah. Would you introduce yourself the way you did to for the for our listeners?

Lindsay Gilman: 00:04:01

Oh, my, the are you talking about the poem, Philip?

Philippe Bartu: 00:04:04

Yeah. Oh, god. Yeah. Yeah. There's a poem you wrote that speak that just spoke to the essence of my soul. And it's an introduction, like I've never seen before. And I mean, what I mean, I, I know this is really off the cuff. So yeah, I know, you haven't prepared anything for it. But if you if you could give us or whatever, whoever you are from.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:04:35

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, this is off the cuff. Yeah, I'm actually I'm looking right now to see if I even have it written anywhere. That I could read it because it's so it's one of the favorite one of my favorite poems that I've written. And it's something that I don't tend to do a lot of spoken. Spoken word poetry. And so when I wrote it, I thought to myself, you know, this, this really needs to be something that I do like spoken aloud. I mean, it's it's so much bigger than just something that could just be read, you know? But off the top of my head I don't I don't remember it. But I just found it so I'm going to read it if you don't mind. Oh,

Philippe Bartu: 00:05:24

wonderful. Yes. Okay.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:05:27

Tell me what you do for work without telling me what you do for work. I'm a travel agent for the astral world. A quantum tour guide, a name badge that reads you're here. Miss Frizzle with bad tattoos and gold nose rings frankincense resin, my Magic Bus. I'm a bullshit detector the fire under your ass the voice in your head that echoes only truth that you are the medicine woman you are your own best healer. I'm a professor of oxygenation a specialist of cellular regeneration, proponent of self experimentation, fuck of vacation. My vocation fills my soul the way poetry fills my mouth milk and honey, like the saturation in my brain of psilocybin and lion's mane. I'm a feminism escapee. The black sheep of the third wave annoying the fourth but their hypocrisy is on repeat in my bullhorn. I've dug underground tunnels for you and you and you torches soaked in blue hair dye butane summon the depleted the defeated the cheated who were told to trade in a housewife for a wage slave. I call them back to the Divine Feminine sit down and attend my classes are fluidity is a fine art not a label worn by the masses. I'm a Kitchen Witch of cast iron and see moss and archaeologists digging up the root cause lighting ablaze the palliative Gods you wrap around your symptoms following the law of the white coats and all their flaws. I'm a Holistic grassroots gangster slipping you selenium and iodine when your endo can't answer why you feel like you're dying. Yet the lab work doesn't say cancer. I'm your mirror. I am your sister and ALCHEMIST who turn living hell into heaven, who healed her crippling depression by optimizing digestion among other secrets. I share in my profession. What do I do? Here's my confession. I don't do anything. You heal you your life is your medicine. I just guide you through. I interpret the language of symptoms into the only thing that's true. There's only healing. There's only health. And the very thing that you need comes only from yourself.

Philippe Bartu: 00:07:41

Goes Whoa. Feels like a mic drop moment.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:07:49

Oh god, I love that. I love that. Ah, thank you for letting me share that. You're asking me to share that. I mean, I haven't read that in a while.

Philippe Bartu: 00:07:58

Yeah, I don't i i Just at some point, you're just wanting to kind of beat along with you. And I could just feel See I got to feel who you're being and how you share that. Yeah. And, and the power and the confession that you make at the end. And that's what a beautiful way to introduce yourself. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so I'm so glad you found it so fast. So this is how I discovered Lindsey. Um, that was the that was my first impression of you. And I was from there. Immediately, I reached out to you. And we had a call. And oh, my god, so much has happened since then. So I know that. Also for those of you that are listening and don't even know about the Facebook group. This is also a podcast where we're going to sort of let you in a little on, on what's well, actually really about what I what I'd love to know more is just about your journey. And so what's many can tell us a little bit about what has been your experience with the book with the community, and what's happened in your life because I know you have the most extraordinary story to share.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:09:19

Yes, yes. So, so much has happened. I mean, I didn't get the book in my hands until January the beginning of January. So it's it's a bit like four months, and it feels like a lifetime has passed. And after I joined the group, Judy Thurston, who was the leading lady of the ultimate experience actually reached out to me after reading my first post and my video and stop calling wasn't asked me so and so I ordered the book and and start I'm reading it right away and met her for coffee maybe a couple of days later. And, you know, she shared with me her her story, which is so incredible and inspiring, and invited me to the event. And, of course, I said, Absolutely, I will absolutely attend this, this book has already, you know, just impacted me in such profound ways. And the, I started to share a little bit about what I was reading with my husband, and Casey Gilman. And it's, you know, he, he and I have had a lot of struggles, and I'm going to kind of just go into it here, Phillips, we had a lot of struggles in our marriage over the last five years, a lot of that included us navigating me falling ill with with a pretty severe chronic illness after the birth of our daughter, and me really losing my ability to care for myself and my family for an extended period of time. And the fear and the, the uncertainty that came with that really took a big toll on our marriage, we were living in a place of lack, emotionally and spiritually and lost our connection to each other, our ability to communicate effectively. And, gosh, for even the months leading up to me getting this book in my hands, you know, divorce was on the table more often than it wasn't. And it was a really dark time for us. And so I started reading about being in this man, and oh my gosh, that the story of me and the Steve, I'm like, oh, that's possible. That's possible through this, through this, you know, this technology and being you know, I'm saying in quotes here, but and so I started sharing some with them. And, and really, he, he pushed it away at first because over the last I would say a year or two, I really was really trying to do the work myself to heal our marriage and to, to get us to a place of connection again. And I did a lot of pushing a lot of, you know, kind of wanting him to come along with me like I need you and and there was resistance there. And this is one more thing, right. But I, I didn't push this I just shared, you know, shared what I read and shared, you know, some posts from people in the group and, and it wasn't until he saw a video. I think it was of Antonio to salsa. And he watched it. And he said, All right, I'm gonna sign up for Facebook. And he hasn't been on Facebook for like seven years. And he joined the group. And then a couple days later, after lurking, he said, I want to go to the event. And I said, well, to go to the event, you got to read the book. And so we sat together every night, and took turns reading the book together. And it changed everything for us. Everything. By solely understanding that we weren't creating unintentionally in the past, who we were being in our relationship, who we're being as husband and wife, and that we can intentionally create something different. And that one concept changed everything. And Philip, we are so connected now deeper than I ever could have imagined prior. I mean, this is beyond my wildest dreams. I'm giddy every day like I'm just like, it's incredible, absolutely incredible. And watching that I have the honour of watching my husband grow and transform in ways I never imagined and never thought was possible. And the amount of pride I feel and joy and it's it's been incredible. It's been an incredible experience. It's nothing

Philippe Bartu: 00:14:21

short of a miracle. It's it's a message of hope and impossibility for those that are listening and feel like they because and what was extraordinary is the whole thing happened within a timeframe of about two months. Yep. Yeah. So it was a went from having a divorce. considering divorce, not being able to communicate feeling disconnected to having such a sense of ease and connection and love and understanding through who you were being and the way you are sharing with each other.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:14:57

Right? Right. So

Philippe Bartu: 00:14:59

let's let's Just we can just kind of take a magnifying glass and kind of look at what happened there. So what is it? So we got to hear the story before in the story after, what are some of the things that you understood that you hadn't understood before? Or that you started to get a different perspective? On?

Lindsay Gilman: 00:15:24

Yeah, yeah. I think it was slightly what I what I touched on just a moment ago, the, the, so I'm a, I'm an artist, I'm a creator, I, I love using paint, I write, I cook, I crochet, I dry, I'm an artist in that in that way. And I, when I'm creating art, that's when I'm in this flow state, I feel so connected to spirit to myself to my work. And I find so much joy in that. It really brings me into the present moment. And it's so healing. And what I didn't recognize prior to reading this book is that I'm creating all the time. I'm creating myself, I'm creating the people around me, I'm creating my life. I'm, I'm I'm creating all the time. And you're actually never not creating, I'm never not creating. Yeah, so why not intentionally bringing intentionality to what I'm creating, to make art in my, in my entire life, in my being through my being, make my relationship, my marriage, my art, my mothering is art. My, my sistering is art, my, I'm making everything into art by who I'm being and turning it into something that's intentional. And, and oh my gosh, that's what my that's what's reflecting back to me in my marriage, it's become this masterpiece, that we are co creating together, my husband and I, it's like we're both with paint brushes, you know, you know, painting this masterpiece on the on a Shared Canvas. And we don't know how it's going to turn out. But we know that because we're creating ourselves as being love, unconditional love for each other, and we're being peace and we're being intentional. We know that it's going to turn into something that we can't even imagine, but we know it's going to be beautiful. And that, that has been my biggest takeaway that I wasn't cognizant of prior. And so now I've taken that artists label on myself to a whole nother level. Like I'm an artist of life, like I'm, it's, it's it's brought me joy that is so immense each and every day, that joy that I experienced when I'm painting or writing I'm experiencing moment to moment to moment.

Philippe Bartu: 00:18:03

That's so that's so beautiful to hear. And also when I'm listening to you say that it can also feel like the joy, like the painting is bringing your joy. And as much as all of that is true. I also want to Yeah, sort of ask you how how do you

Lindsay Gilman: 00:18:22

feel about the fact

Philippe Bartu: 00:18:25

that you're experiencing all that joy? has everything to do with the connection you have for yourself? And really nothing to do with what you're doing?

Lindsay Gilman: 00:18:35

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're so right, Philip. It's, it's brought the the concept of, of being and the intentionality behind it really has brought me to such a deeper connection to myself such a deeper level.

Philippe Bartu: 00:18:56

And that joy is available to us when we're taking the trash out. Yes, like that joy is available to you when, when you know, you're gonna have to get up in the middle of the night because one of the kids are crying. I got this, there's no, there's no place where that joy isn't available. So the possibility of actually living from a place of joy and peace and well being is unlimited.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:19:25

Right? It's, it's in every moment, the possibility is there in every moment. And I find that in the moments that could be seen as difficult. It's almost like when I when I tap into that, that the access to joy in those moments, it's, it's it's on another level. When you're able to create art. That's kind of how I feel about when I'm able to create art by who I'm being in the difficult moments. It's that much more beautiful those it's just it's It's a beautiful experience. It's changed my life changed my life.

Philippe Bartu: 00:20:05

I can I can hear that. What are you? What else are you excited to share with our listeners today?

Lindsay Gilman: 00:20:15

You know, I'm outside of the, like you said, miraculous healing that has happened in my marriage. And we touched on this deeper connection to myself, you know, I, I want to touch on that a little bit more, because I'm actually going to share something, it's kind of a funny story. That just happened the other day, and I think it's applicable here. Most of my life, I, I was a chronic people, pleaser, chronic people pleaser, I had no clue who I really was what I wanted, any of it, I was I was a pro at wearing all these different costumes for everyone in my life, based off of what I was, assuming they wanted me to be for them. And really had no I mean, there was just no sense of self, no sense of boundaries. And it took a huge toll on my mental and physical health. And in that, there, there was also this, this whole, you know, there was this, this lack of self love. I was I was caring more about what people thought of me than what I thought of me or, or who I really was, or, or anything. And in this in the past four months, and this is something I've worked on prior to this, like really trying to establish a deeper level of self love. And especially after I got sick, I really brought that to the forefront, but the book itself, and reading about the depths of how of how Steve loves himself, and how that in turn, creates this huge endless capacity that he has to love everybody. I mean, it's just overflowing and there's never a drought. I, I realized that, that I really needed to hone in more on on my own self love and passion for myself and getting to know who I am and who I want to create myself to be. And so for the past few months, I've been in studying this book and reading it about myself. And I have just discovered this affinity for who I am. My quirks, my, my strengths lie, I mean, all of it. And I have fun, like I'm enjoying being with myself every day, like hanging out with myself. And I had a moment. I was talking with a client the other day. And they were they were discussing issues in their marriage and talking about well, our love languages are so different. And Lindsay, what's your love language. And I sat there for a moment. And I started to laugh. Because what came to me was that, my love languages, all of them. All of them, I want them all. And I had I had, I think I felt like that my whole life. But I felt so much shame of being seen as too much or being told I was too much, or whatever. So I would I would just say, oh, you know, it's service. I like acts of service. But I really never felt felt so silly because I really wanted all of them. I want all of them. And my client was like laughing with me. And they said that that's so refreshing to hear someone admit. And as I said it, I felt this deep love and admiration for myself that I was able to be real and admit that and say it without shame and and with even more love for myself. Right like I love that about me that I need all of them.

Philippe Bartu: 00:24:08

Gosh, you know, that's really making me reflect because I I was very comfortable claiming that yeah, physical touch. That's my love. And it does it. I mean, it definitely is something that's super important for me and a priority. But as you say that I was also just reflecting like, what would what would mine be? Right for me? What's coming up is like, my language of love is being an expression of the love within me.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:24:38

I love that. Yes.

Philippe Bartu: 00:24:41

Yes. And that's like energy that gets to move through me onto someone or onto what I'm writing or whatever. Wherever I am creating if I can create from an energy of love that's moving through me and I'm in the expression of that love. That's my language. And I write with that language is not just beautiful, but it penetrates into whatever I am creating with an energy of love. Yes, yes. That ripples and ripples. And ripples. Yes,

Lindsay Gilman: 00:25:25

yes. Oh, all of that. Oh, that my friend.

Philippe Bartu: 00:25:30

Yeah. I never even considered that until you until you spoke. And I just was like, wow. Yeah,

Lindsay Gilman: 00:25:36

yeah, yeah, I, you know, I think it's, we, we cling to these little labels, right. And it's what our labels Phillip is limiting, right? It limits us from really the full the fullness of the complexity of who we are, and, and how we show love and how we feel love and give love and, and so it felt so freeing for me in that moment to just say, You know what I don't have it's not just this, it's all of it. Like, I love it all. And I can feel love from it all. And I can give love in all of those ways. You know? Yeah, so it was just, it was such a freeing. Realization.

Philippe Bartu: 00:26:16

It's also it's a frequency. Yes, state of awareness, a state of being. What I'm also finding is when when we're in this frequency, there's less interest in entertaining things that are. I don't know if it's lower vibration. But I'll give you an example. Like with my, I had a fallout with my brother a few a few weeks ago, and I got, I got a WhatsApp message full of accusations and blame, and it was very hurtful. And there was no real way I could respond to that by addressing the problem. Yeah. And I took some time to, you know, take a sort of take a pause with it. Because I was noticing all the all the defensiveness that was coming up for me. And that that was, that was exactly what I didn't want. And so coming back to this, it was, and this is actually the day before my birthday, interestingly enough, I get this message from him and, and I respond to him, and I say, I am in a place in my life, where my own peace and well being and harmony is more important than conflict. I've prioritize that over conflict. And that was it. Like I didn't defend. I didn't say anything, I just, it was just an expression of who I am an expression of who I'm being in the world, and how I'm living. And I didn't hear anything from him. And the next day was my birthday. He sent me a voucher for a massage treatment. And he says, quote, you get a lot of peace and love through this massage, and harmony. I hope you get all everything you're looking for in this massage. So this went from accusations to to myths, and it actually just blew my mind that that happened. And then the possibility of not having to resolve anything. Yeah. Yeah. For for there to be a sense of reserve. I don't know, what's the word like a sense of like, acceptance. Yeah. And where I can receive that from from him. And I thought that was so graceful of him to be willing to put down the story and say, absolutely choose our relationship over our problems.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:28:55

Right. It's that ripple effect. How who you're being and how your

Philippe Bartu: 00:29:02

world? I'm starting to see that more deeply now as Yeah, yeah, wasn't it now you can hear this. And you can think I'm going to send that as a like, as Oh, that's that. That sounds nice. I'm going to use that as a template. Next time I get attacked, right? Or I'm going to use that again. And it and it won't. It won't be the same thing. Even for me, it won't be the same thing because it won't. It's what was true in the moment. It's what felt like that was an expression of love in that moment, but I can recycle. No, and then you can hear them think, Oh, well, that's a nice, that's a nice tool, or I'm going to use that in my toolkit. But that's actually the tool is the being

Lindsay Gilman: 00:29:41

Right exactly. It's like what reform Wolf, he's been sharing lately that it's we're not being in order to, right, there's no in order to we're just it's we're being from this deep well of who we are and it just flows through us and it's what we're at You know, creating them ourselves. And there's no in order

Philippe Bartu: 00:30:02

to Well, I also want to just kind of specify, like what I'm hearing and that because you can absolutely be in order to but what you're being, you're being lack. Exactly like whenever whenever I'm being in order to I have to be from a cup that is half full, not an overflowing cup.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:30:23

Mm hmm, exactly, exactly. Ooh, I love that.

Philippe Bartu: 00:30:31

That's beautiful. All right, Lindsay, what else? Have you got that that you want to bring into this conversation?

Lindsay Gilman: 00:30:39

Yeah, I actually I something else that's really profound that I find such a gift from from reading the book, getting to know Steve Hardison, and in it all the people that I've met in this community. So I actually spoke about this, I did an ultimate coach book reading just a couple of nights ago, on Zoom, and it was such a intimate, beautiful experience. And the excerpts that I chose to read, were was the one of the uninvited visitor of Dominique, the gentleman who escaped prison. And I read that excerpt. And I followed it with an excerpt from the chapter on love, called strangers, aka friends. I read those two, one right after the next. And the reason why I chose those. And I think that they, I know that they are the most powerful excerpts from the book for myself. So I grew up, in indoctrinated basically into the nondenominational Christian church. And my dad was, my parents were very active, my dad was an elder. And from a young age, I, gosh, I loved the story of this guy, Jesus, I thought he sounded amazing. And, and I love studying that. But I really started to notice and sense, a disconnect, in what I was reading about, and what I was seeing around me, and how people were being. And it caused a lot of chaos and turmoil within within myself at a very young age. And I'm thinking to myself, you know, we're told to be like, to be like Jesus, but I'm not seeing anybody being like Jesus. And, and so I, I really began to have a massive crisis, spiritual crisis, throughout my childhood, and by the time I left home, I just completely denounced it all. Like, I'm not participating in this whatsoever. There's too much hypocrisy, I experienced some abuse from a youth pastor. I mean, it was just not a good experience. And I shut down my connection to spirit to God. For I would say over a decade. And like nothing, I mean, I was like, I would call myself an atheist. I mean, that was just it was gone. And after I started having kids, I realized that, me shutting that down, I was shutting down, like a biological piece of me. Like, we're all spiritual beings. And I recognize that, so I, but I was terrified to explore that. And because of what I experienced growing up, and over time, I began to open up more to it and discover what my own beliefs are, and my own spirituality and started to embrace that on a deeper level. However, when I was reading the book, and especially those excerpts, I was shown an example of what I needed to see when I was a child. I was shown an example of somebody who is being being Christ, like, it touched me so deeply. I mean, those chapters I chose them and I cried through them every time I read.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:34:41

There, it's just so powerful for me and it healed pieces of me that I thought were were healed. That worked. That that weren't and it gives me hope, and it gave me an example and it gave me it gives me a blueprint in some way as to oh, this is what that looks like in In a human and a real person, you know, and, and it has brought me to such a deeper level, with my own spirituality with my own connection to God with my own connection to spirit. And that gift, talk about ripple effect. I mean, that has rippled out into into my family, into the miracles that are occurring in my life every single day. I mean, it's happening every single day, it's rippling out into my business, I'm having this deeper connection to spirit, this consistent flow. And it's it's changed my life and those excerpts really healed old parts of me that needed to be healed. So I really wanted to share that. And how appreciative I am of that example, you know, so,

Philippe Bartu: 00:35:51

wow. And you are now that example? Yes. Do you see? Yes, yes. It's like, you were looking for an example, for 10 years, you became what you considered atheists. Right. And then you found the book. And then you saw Steve as the possibility of being living example of that. And that transformed you so much that you became that very Christ like, state of being that you are so desperately looking to find in the world. Right. So talk about creating, from the possibility of not seeing that anywhere, and then just from a book, and then actually creating yourself from that. I mean, that's just remarkable. I've actually never, I've never heard anyone say it the way you just did. It's really, I just want to sort of let that as a possibility for anyone who is reading the book right now. Who hasn't finished or who's as a possibility, you know, there's a, this is taking the saying, read the book about you to such a, an even deeper possibility, so. So I know that's, I just want to just acknowledge you for who you get. Here, who you get to become. Or rather, everything you're able to let go of, and you get to undertown. Yeah. And yes, in this process, and the stories that you were able to let go of the people pleaser, all those personalities. That's, um, and from someone who's done a lot of therapy, a lot of work on yourself, spend a lot of money, spend 20 bucks on a book, a lifetime of personal development, work and therapy. kind of result. I just want to speak to the miracle of that. Yes, it is. I mean, and that's what I'm hearing in your story. And

Lindsay Gilman: 00:38:17

yes, it's, it's, I have been living a miracle. Yeah. And, and, you know, I don't I'm it was the timing is always right, you know, and so I every decade of my you know, spiritual drought all that brought me to this, this place right here right now. And, and it's added such a richness to my life, you know, the, the confusion that I experienced the, the, you know, physical illness, I mean, all these different that the marriage issues, all of these things brought, has brought such a richness to my own life experience to my own journey. And, and it's, it's primed me, it's primed me for, for this $20 book.

Philippe Bartu: 00:39:06

Amazing. So let me let me let me just speak to the people who are listening to this right now and who are reading the book and may not be getting the kind of value that Lindsey Gilman is talking about? Maybe like, yeah, that's not really the way I'm experiencing this book. Well, what would you say to the people who may not be feeling are just a fraction of, of what you got to experience? Is there anything you'd like to say to them?

Lindsay Gilman: 00:39:40

Yeah, um, I think that man, we, like I was saying, I think that this landed into my lap at a time that it I mean, it was it was all divine for me, right. It was all divine for me. And I'm not saying that it's not divine for everyone else. But I believe that for some people, and I've had lots of conversations with a lot of people who have read this book and have the huge, vast array of experience, right? Some people, it's been extremely profound, other people haven't gotten it at all. And I think that all of it is right. I think all of it is right. And that if you've read this book, and you really, you felt like you really haven't gotten anything out of it, or nothing's really transformed for your life, my advice would be to set it aside for a little while. And I know that other people might disagree, like well read it again and read it more about you or, or whatever. The information that we take in information, it's an it's inside of us. And it's not like you can't unreal, the book, right? You've read the book, you can't unreal, it, it's in there somewhere. And I think that if we're desperate, and we're seeking for desperate and seeking transformation, we're coming from a place of lack. Right? Phillips so when we're, when we're, when we're being desperate, we're coming from this place of lack. And that's going to limit what it is that we're able to, to see and accomplish and be in our life. So setting it aside and allowing that to marinate. And I actually gave this advice to somebody who I was speaking with in the group. And they set it aside and actually, you know, turned off Facebook for a couple of weeks. And they felt their own inkling to pick the book up again. And they picked the book up and just flipped to a chapter. Instead of starting over from the very beginning. It hit them in a way that was needed, and different and transformative. And if we're fighting, we're not open. We're not in receiving mode. So my that would be my advice is to take a pause to let things marinate and to know that it's in there, it's in there. And when it's when it's ready. When it's ready to land, it will

Philippe Bartu: 00:42:09

well wise, wise, wise woman you are and what. And even for me, when I felt like I was getting a lot out of the book, I needed to have moments where I would put the book down, because that would be the sneaky thoughts that would get into my mind and tell me, Wow, how can I be this? How can I have this much capacity for connection, this muscle ability to impact people? Like there was this I fell into this comparison mode? And feeling like Oh, actually, I'm feeling a little inadequate reading this book. Yeah, so So I also want to just say how all of it is, you know, is welcome. And it's not that one is good, or better or worse. But what I did find was helpful was when that was happening. For me, that was just an indication that I'm not really open to receive the gift this book has to give. So I decided to put the book down until, for me it wasn't so much until I felt an inkling. But until I was just feeling connected again, feeling that Oh, open, I'm open, right. And so when I was open, I would read the same page. And it was really, like, lift my spirit. We know it was like medicine for the soul. So there were things that I would read that which was really, wow, I'd have to sometimes even just put the book down and just reflect on that. So So for me, it's it was also the experience of reading it was very much also experiencing myself as being open and closed, open and close. And then taking that into my everyday life and noticing, right, when am I open? When am I closed? When I write and it's it's it's really about when am I living in the possibility that I am unlimited from a place of infinite potential that anything is possible. So when am I living from a place of Oh, I am small and limited.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:44:31

Right? Right.

Philippe Bartu: 00:44:33

And I go in those two different dimensions in and out every day.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:44:38

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I had practice that that work, of a feeling in tuning in and toward my body as to when I'm feeling open or constricted. A few years back when I was diving into the concept of polarity and feminine energy Chi and really try to harness more of that. In my life and in my body and one of the, one of the practices was in the day and moment to moment, can you tell? Can you sense what what does it feel like to be open? What does it feel like when you're closed? And really, and what's happening in the world around you? Or inside you? When those things each occur? Yeah, what draws you open? What we, you know, how do you respond to be constricted or closed, and it's such a, that practice has, has figured out, you know, into many areas of my life, not just in regards to like feminine energy, but in regards to, you know, how I mothering or how I'm taking in new information, books, you know, all of that. So,

Philippe Bartu: 00:45:49

and I know that you're also an expert in health and nutrition. You know, I know one of the things that I remember, in our early conversation was, I had, you know, Christina had made me my wife and made me a smoothie that morning. And as I was drinking the smoothie, she poured it over poured and kind of spilled, and I was feeling grumpy that morning. And I remember having a thought for me, I have a wife who's clumsy. And I was I was living in that feeling of tension tension in my body. My wife is clumsy, why can't see made me a smoothie without having stuff poured all over the site. So this is again, coming, coming back from my right hospitality training, how to pour. Um, so I, you know, I clean up the glass, and I could have just said, Oh, here it is, let me help you clean, I clean up the glass thinking. For me, here I am cleaning up the glass, my clumsy wife and I sit down and I drink it. And it was the most lovingly prepared smoothie with the healthiest ingredients. And as I was drinking it, I just felt like tension in my body. And yes, it didn't feel so good. And in that moment, it was like, holy cow, this is like the book, I now closed. So whatever I'm feeding myself, I'm not really a my body isn't in a state of being that is able to naturally take in all the nutrients so that I can really expand and feel alive. And I got to see that. Wow. Yes, food and nutrition is so important. And I had completely overlooked the state of being Yes, as a key element to health and vitality.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:47:38

Yes, yes. This, what you're saying? I have, because of this amazing book and Steve, I've been able to bring in the language around being into my coaching practice. And it has, it has transformed how I coach because I coach around the nervous system and trauma and nutrition and hormones and all of that and realizing that the foundation, the very first thing that we need to be paying attention to when we're when we're experiencing issues with our health or dis ease or, or whatever is who I mean, where we being because who we are being is going to dictate our nervous system, which dictates how our hormones go, which dictates our digestion, which dictates our sleep, our immune function, all of it and what Wow, what a profound, like simplified way of approaching overall health and vitality. It doesn't need to be so complex and I and and people have been I'm usually the last person that people come to after they've been dealing with chronic illness or anxiety or trauma or whatever they've they've seen all the doctors they've seen all they've done all the things and spent all the money on supplements and programs and and none of it's worked for them because they haven't addressed who they are, who they're being. So it doesn't matter how healthy of a food program they're on if they're having the most delicious smoothies but if they're in a state of constriction or you know, unease a disease and they're being and who and who they are. They're not it doesn't matter what they're taking in their body, it's not going to be as effective as if they were in a place of openness ready to receive that as something that is healing.

Philippe Bartu: 00:49:34

Yeah, and as a as a food lover and like you I'd love to cook it's also changed the way that I prepare food, the energy that I'm putting into it and and I'm also even Christina as you can taste when I cook something and I'm not in a expansive state of being or if they if, if I'm feeling anger or if I'm feeling disconnected And then that energy is in the food. And she's the first to notice it.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:50:05

How profound is that? I mean, that is just

Philippe Bartu: 00:50:09

Yeah. And if you think about it, there's, the grand mothers in Italy, are so renowned for their cooking. And there's a saying that there's nothing like grandma's cooking. And it's not that they use better ingredients, or they have better techniques or skills. It's as a grandma, you're just sort of the half of this grandma mothering nurturing energy that you put into the food. And that's even if you're eating pasta with extra Parmesan, and actually, it's the love in that food makes what would be considered by many as an unhealthy dish, a dish that has the capacity to heal.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:50:56

Oh, it's so nourishing and

Philippe Bartu: 00:50:59

deeply nourished. Yeah, that so you can you can also have a meal that is nutritiously meets all the standards and ticks the boxes. But the chef was like having a really bad day in the restaurant. And it just won't nourish you the same way.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:51:18

Exactly, exactly. It's like I tell my clients and I say this tongue in cheek, I don't mean to eat a ton of doughnuts, but I say, you know, a happy donut is better than a sad salad. For you.

Philippe Bartu: 00:51:31

That sounds good. I love that. Oh my god, I love that. I'm gonna say that to my nephew, because he's, he's just recently discovered donuts and this first donut 13. And his eyes just lit up. And we went for donuts together. And I bought him a doughnut. And I noticed Lindsey, I was feeling like, oh, I shouldn't do this. And there was a sense of guilt. And then I just, I just caught myself and I was like, no, no, no, no, let's take all that out and make this a celebration moment. And so it was it was that happy donor that we got to share together? Right? Yeah, happy donor is better than a salad, I'm gonna remember that.

Lindsay Gilman: 00:52:16

It is. And it's so true. It's the energy that we're taking in. I mean, love is such a high frequency. And, you know, fuel, it's food is our fuel. And it's a sort of form of energy. And so the energy that we have inside of our bodies, and the energy that was used to prepare the food all plays a role in our body's ability to be able to pull nutrients and receive it as medicine. And, and so yeah, I don't have you don't it can absolutely be medicine at times. So

Philippe Bartu: 00:52:49

I love that. Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us for your lightness, this conversation just feels so healing and nutritious. I am I am nourished by being in your company. And I wanted to ask you as we as we come to a close, is there anything you would like to say before we complete,

Lindsay Gilman: 00:53:15

ah, this is what I say, at the end of any podcast that I'm on, and I'm gonna say it here. And my philosophy is that our life is our medicine. And we can take it in moment by moment, whether it's with food, or people or places who were being books, we can take in that medicine every single moment of every single day. And we can perpetually be healing our spirit, our minds, our beings by doing that. And the answer to knowing whether something is medicine is by tuning in and toward your body and your body always knows. And just to remember that and I also want to thank you, Philip, for inviting me on here with you today. And not only for that, but the friendship that you and I have created together. It's like nothing I've ever experienced and I'm infinitely blessed to have you in my life and as someone that I can call a dear friend so thank you so much for that.

Philippe Bartu: 00:54:24

Oh, you're such a gem. Thank you so much Lindsay and for people that would like to know more about you and your work what would be the best way for them to connect? Yeah,

Lindsay Gilman: 00:54:35

yeah, you can find me on Facebook so you can just look up Lindsey Gilman, it's Lindsay was an A, you could find me on there friendly. I tend to post on the body and the nervous system and being you know, several times a week there. And you can also find me on Instagram at the calibration coach. There's underscores in there but you'll find me and board Join the ultimate coach Facebook group. And I'm very active in there as well. So

Philippe Bartu: 00:55:05

Lindsey Gilman is one of the most engaging social media users I've come across her posts are really beautiful and extraordinary and will leave you feeling expansive. So if you've enjoyed this interview in this conversation, and you want to deepen and learn more, I really encourage you to follow her. And let yourself be astonished by what Lindsey Gilman has in store for you. Thank you, everyone for Thank you for listening. Thank you for taking the time to be with us today. And, Lindsey, thank you so much for blessing us with your wisdom and your presence. And we look forward to our next episode soon have a beautiful day.