How a 7 year old Boy called AJ is Changing the World - Simona B

TUCP Intro/Outro: 00:00:08

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach Podcast conversations from being inspired by the book The Ultimate Coach written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from Being.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:00:48

I wanted to welcome you Simona B. To the show. I wanted to welcome you to the ultimate coach podcast beaming in live from London, England.

Simona B: 00:00:59

How are you? First of all, thank you for inviting me. It's it's my pleasure to be here. I'm feeling really good, like every day. Well, you look good.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:01:12

I know this is an audio only recording. But I'm just reading the folks out there. So minor is a vivacious, bright, engaging individual with a very interesting story. And we'll get to some of that in a minute. But Simona for the folks at home, haven't heard of you. How would you describe who and what you are in 90 seconds or less?

Simona B: 00:01:35

Right? Before 92nd stars you will get to

Laban Ditchburn: 00:01:42

you will get you everywhere. Thank you very much. I graciously receive and accept that compliment.

Simona B: 00:01:48

Who am I? first word that comes into my mind. I'm a parent. I'm a parent of three beautiful boys. And I wouldn't change this name for anything else. I'm so proud to be their parent. I'm also a coach. I help people to find themselves to get to the place where they want to be. To learn to love themselves, just to find happiness in their life. And yeah, I'm a human being at the moment.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:02:32

The moment and you you've got an accent and from memory I think you're from Latvia. Is that right? Originally?

Simona B: 00:02:40

It's close Latvia and people are our neighbors. It's Lithuania

Laban Ditchburn: 00:02:46

Dagnabbit Lithuania. What's it what's a fun fact about Lithuania that you can share with our audience that most people won't have it?

Simona B: 00:02:56

That's an interesting question.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:02:59

Doesn't have to be fun, but usually better than a terrifying statistic.

Simona B: 00:03:06

Terrifying is a government that's what terrifying. Beautiful country beautiful nature. We have a beautiful sandy beach. Which is like a failure in in Greece, you know, or having a beautiful holiday out. Yeah, well worth visiting definitely for the experience. However, society part is still not quite right there. So I do have a little purposely to help people from my own country to find themselves and to tune into that. The Yeah.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:04:01

Well, the rest of the western world is blessed to have you in our presence. And I want to know Simona what what did life look like before being introduced to Steve Hardison and the ultimate coach group, versus after?

Simona B: 00:04:20

Oh, wow, that is that's a difference like like black and white, like Steve's favorite colors. So now that's an interesting thing. Because liking both colors is like liking black and white. So yeah, the difference is I've got so many friends now that I could have only dreamed about before. I I attended the group. I have so much in growth happening so fast. And I love it. The difference is that I was usually sad most of the time. Now, I'm happy most of the time. And I never had thought like, oh, what would I have to do to be happy all the time? That just happened. I just wanted for it, and it happened. So joining the group, reading the book, literally changed your life.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:05:56

Think that's a pretty good description of how a lot of people feel after being exposed to this, this. This phenomena, which is really no other way to describe it, I would say, and you've got an unusual added bonus as well. You got three boys. And Steve is the Godfather as he godfather to all three or just one. I don't know how that works.

Simona B: 00:06:21

Just the little one. Yes.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:06:23

What's his name?

Simona B: 00:06:25

AJ?

Laban Ditchburn: 00:06:26

What did what did AJ do that was so impactful that caught the attention of Steve Hardison, enough for him to designate himself as a godfather.

Simona B: 00:06:39

He loves See, loved, love still love past present future. It's It's unconditional love. He rubbed the Steve's hand. Arm flipped these are while we were sitting together in the ultimate experience. They were hugging each other. He was with Steve, every break time. He was just giving all his love all his attention to Steve. There's something magical happened in the moment that they met. I believe they fell in love from the first moment. And before they became godfather and God son, they became buddies forever. They did the pinky promise with the little fingers. And that didn't take long. It took just a couple of days after and Steve proposed to become a just godfather. It was such a moment. And of course they have to ask at first if you want, because it wasn't up to me. So yeah, he said immediately. Yes. Yes. That was That was funny moment when I said he would you like Steve to be a godfather? Yes. Do you know what Godfather is? No. It doesn't matter. I want it. I want everything about Steve. He was listening for the ultimate coach book in that moment, aging. And yeah, the love with Steve is just growing every moment. And then they had a call together after the event. Our call ended. He was like, Mommy, I'm bursting with love now. Like talking to Steve. Just talking. That's it. You don't need money mansions, fancy cars, airplanes. To be happy. You just need a conversation with someone that you love. And for me to witness that. That was a gift. So

Laban Ditchburn: 00:09:18

now I want to provide some context, Samantha because this isn't a 10 year old son here. This is someone who is much younger Harold has aged seven. This is a seven year old boy with what sounds like extraordinary levels of intuition and awareness and being for lack of a better word. Wait like where does a seven year old? pick this stuff up? Were you like this when you were young?

Simona B: 00:09:50

That's a good question. You know, Steve asked me the question he said I wonder where did he get this all from an I was in a in a joking mode. I said, you. And I heard Amy laughing at the back. Steve said, I think it's you I personally believe that he came to this world with this gifts already. I just help him to use his gift in the right way in the way that that is right. What is right, I don't know. But I believe it works. So I'm just supporting him. And I'm just just beautiful guiding him. While he is still little. But the gift is purely his a wish, I wish I wish I knew that. And yet to go. I would have done it with ages brothers now. We're working on it. But the main thing is that my children are so independent. And he learned this from from when he was a baby. He speaks from when he was nine months, he walks from seven months old. She's got six pack now. COVID isn't bustles? He is. Yes, I'm so safe and sourcing. Yeah, and I just I just enjoy watching my children from aside and then just just just giving the help and support when they need. Otherwise, they make their choices. They know that they will face the consequences. And me as a parent, I strongly believe that it's better to allow him to experience independence from when they little rather than when they 1819 And then they move out and then they Oh my god, what am I doing now? So learn how to be independent from your little days. So when life starts without parents, you good? You confident you know what you doing? And yeah, you won't need to face any bad consequences because you face them already when you were seven.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:12:50

I love that so much Simona by what you've got me thinking about as I'm listening to you talk is how wonderful how wonderful it is that that that AJ has been exposed to Steve at seven years of age. I was 41 when I met Steve a year ago give or take and I am beyond blessed to have had that man into my life and flipped turned everything upside down in the most extraordinary amazing way possible. So what what possible outcome is that going to have on AJ when he gets to 41 and and I'm just curious to know that you know for people that are listening that that have been impacted by Steve and haven't yet had an opportunity to to influence their younger children or even their older children by any any component of us. What was it that you did that allowed AJ to to pick up on Steve and the ultimate coach without ramming it down his throat What did you do that allowed him just to organically start receiving this without feeling bombarded

Simona B: 00:14:06

I was sharing with my children. I would say all of them were I'm doing so they always seen the book that I'm reading the book is always there. No one stops them to pick it and read it. If I read something that kind of evokes an insight inside me. I share this with my kids ad was the one that was most interested in. In regards everything about the coaching. He would pick my little questions book cannonballs, right. What would you do if you had a lot of money? Is that oh my god extra question in your questions book. Look at it and I will look at As the question, so AJ was picking and picking everything about what I love. And then event was created. I asked aging, that was my idea. Of course, I needed his permission, I asked, Would you like to shave an explanation mark on, like, in your hair at the back of your head? Before we go to event because I knew that ladies are doing their nails, and then like T shirts or the people I don't know. I thought, Let's Get creative. So let's do that. We went to the barbers. And I showed the logo to the barber. So I don't know about you, oh, can I do that? Instead call my boss. So we called his boss said it's just on the next street. Go go there, he will do that. So we went there. He was so excited to have this new hairstyle. And Bob asked, Oh, I don't think they allow patterns in school. Okay, so that if he gets sent home, he will have a day off. When when we have a haircut, and they off. So yeah, we we did that. We took a picture we showed the how we excited about it. And I remember making a little gift for Steve I taped and painted him a little picture. And then it was a wooden frame for it. I wanted to color it black, because it's my favorite color. And he said my mommy I will help. So he painted that wooden frame. And I wanted to memorize that like the Nick memory. So took video, and I still have it. Nobody ever seen it. Nobody knows about it. He looked at the camera. And he said Hi Steve Hardison that will be shared once but he knew about Steve far before the event. And while we went there, he was so excited to see her discern. And as an agent, not just that we're gonna sit with him. And he was just balls of the wall and someone made a video I think it's on on the Thompson make video and he shared it on the group. When AJ and Steve met the first moment when they met that's the beautiful and it's recorded. Yeah, that was the beginning of the big future ahead of us.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:18:12

semana My Will people that have heard my story understand that a lot of the the escapism destructive behavior stemmed from me being a child of divorce, my parents split up when I was three and a half. And I talk about this a lot and and we know, you know, parents splitting up for one reason or another is really devastating on families for the most part. And the studies even show that even if there is some dysfunction in the family, depending on what levels that people are better off staying together. Not that there's any reason that people should stay in loveless marriages certainly not because I think that can be way worse longer term. But can I ask you a personal question about the boys and you and their their father and the impact that that has had on AJ. so lovingly, gravitating towards Steve like is this the first major male role model in his life or Is he is he like this

Simona B: 00:19:18

with other people? The first major role model I would say yes, if we stick to word major is he like that with other people? He majority of the people Yeah. Not all of them. Because sometimes he will be unhappy and he will. He will just be very open about it and he will share how he feels. In regards of all the people's behavior. There will be some people that he won't like, I can give an example. He will come and say, Oh, that teacher is so mean. She told me to use my brain. Yes. And yeah, we don't use this kind of language at home. We are loving, we understanding. We're really supporting each other. And we're not kind of putting each other down by saying that, Oh, yeah, your brain isn't working or that because there is a hidden message. It's not just use your brain. So first thing when he meets someone new is is unconditional love. Yes. He loves everyone is especially loves dogs. There's no dog on the walk that he wouldn't stroke. He counts sometimes is record 17 or something. So? Yeah. And people. I think he's very intuitive, which, which I absolutely don't mind. And he has his right to choose what he wants to do. And if he doesn't want to go and see someone, or go and say something to someone, he doesn't have to. Because he's got something inside him telling him that. No, you don't do that. I believe in higher power. I believe that we don't need a pile of evidence, facts. Why we don't want to do the things. I know I don't want to do that. It doesn't matter why. And same with my kids. So to answer the question, Is he like that with other people? He is to the level with the other people are allowing a GS love to go into their hearts. Some people are close. So then AJ just love someone else.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:22:36

The ES hands like he's super intuitive. And I draw a few parallels with me being when I was younger, I was always very empathetic. I've always felt other people's pain, not not to the extent that some people do. But it certainly was something that I was aware of and have been told about with both my mom and my dad, you know, later on life. I'm also one of three boys. I'm the middle one. And if something like that happened to me, it would be interesting to see what impact you know when we were younger? Certainly what impact that would have had on my siblings. What impact or influence has this experience on a J head on the other two boys?

Simona B: 00:23:22

would be probably the best thing to ask them but maybe we would put the question in different words what I see what I see what's the insolence it might not be true but it's everything is so natural. It's like things happening and we accepting things the way it happens. And if he loves coaching, loves Steve loves everyone. His brothers are okay with that. There is there is nothing that would impact them in any other way than just seeing it as a very natural thing. It's okay we love each other. We Happy with each other. And yes, my boys they they like Three Musketeers. They they will stand for each other you know, they will fight yes they fight they fight over the thing, little thing. But if one of them is upset based on external event or something happened, other two will step in and just protect that one. So I don't know. I don't think there was any kind of impact

Laban Ditchburn: 00:25:01

Well, I it's, it's really great of you to to preface that by saying you'd need to ask them was more if there's any obvious changes that have happened as a result, because I think people with, with kids that are listening to you speak, a lot of us will be resonating deeply. Because if you can, if we can all be so dramatically impacted by Steve, and if you listen to this for the first time, and you've never come across Steve Hardison, and the ultimate coach, book, or the any of this other stuff, because it is relatively new, and it's not relatively well known, you know, compared to like, Taylor Swift or the Beatles, for example. But knowing knowing what kind of impact you can have long term on your family by exposing them to people like Steve, there operate from a place of absolute unconditional love and, and I'll be honest, Simona I have battled with how loving Steve is at times. And I've thought I've created thoughts in my own mind where I'm like, this cannot be possible. There has to be people in the world that you just don't like, right. And with what's gone on in the world, in the last couple of years, and you know, what, what my eyes have been opened up to in terms of the nefarious nature of human behavior at times, I still it's something that I'm still learning and, and I'm, I'm ascending the, the list of consciousness, you know, David Hawkins, list of consciousness is as fast and as high as I can. And, and, you know, every time I come back to recording an episode for the ultimate coach, I'm so beautifully reminded of the wonderful impact that it has on other people, and it reinvigorates me. And I'm gonna, when I get off this, I'm going to start reading the book again. Because I need it. I need it back in my life again, and there's always something that I get out of it, that really kick starts being together again, Mike, my question Simona for you is, what's something recent that you've read in the book that's inspired you or had a profound impact on you?

Simona B: 00:27:26

Can I just go back a little bit in the ask you a question? I'll leave your question for a moment.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:27:32

But yeah, go for it. This is the first folks.

Simona B: 00:27:37

Not the last you send you if I hear you correctly, said you sometimes struggle or struggled in the past. To accept it how Steve is so loving, that you said there must be some people that he doesn't lie. Do you still feel the same now?

Laban Ditchburn: 00:28:01

Let me just check that. Yeah, like, it seems to me that he's, he's able to practice unconditional love with everyone and now that you're asking me maybe even people that he doesn't like he still loves them. And I and I have struggled in the past. It's not something I've thought about recently, but I'm like, surely there's someone that really pissed him off. He just doesn't like or doesn't love that Zach clarify.

Simona B: 00:28:36

Yes, I've been in that space as well. This is why I'm asking I have my own experience, how to fall in love with everyone. Everyone that hates me everyone that purposely tries to set me you know the people that are unhappy and do the bad things for others are the people who need the love the most. So I have enough for everyone. And if people would be happy, happy happy. They would never try to upset anyone. They would never try to do something to others so that they suffer they do that means they unhappy what's in my power to make them happy? Left them. Okay. So I had a little story when I was walking in the car park and I didn't see the car behind me. And the driver was so angry I saw is window Opening down. And I knew that something's coming. I thought, yes, you know, go on challenge what's going to happen? And he was started targeting, oh, you ignorant. And I know why we have got upset a year ago. Like, yeah, I I would start apologizing or I would just feel so bad and blind and I didn't didn't see and I'm so like, yeah, piece of crap. But I looked at him I smiled and I said, I love you. And I went back to my car.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:30:45

What did he do? What did he do? And he said, I love you.

Simona B: 00:30:49

I don't know, I walked away I gave him my key me may have had a bad day, he may have had an argument with someone he may have been in a bank or I don't know what happened. But he is was created by external event in that, that madness inside him. He allow for it to happen. And then he took it out on me. But what he needs the most is love. He didn't need that argument or something what happened? He needed love. He wants to be understood, accepted. Love. So have it I have enough for everyone. And I purely deeply love everyone.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:31:47

So I want to I want to test you with a challenge Simona because I woke up on Sunday morning. And I've got a social media guy that posts repurposed material from my other podcast, become your own superhero and, and my book and, you know, the coaching that I do. And this guy used to be, well, I knew this guy, I recruited this guy into a job maybe five years ago when I worked in technology recruitment back in Australia. And and I got this, this message on a post that had gone up and that the post was a 62nd video of I might be the world's best courage coach, but this is the most courageous person person I know referring to my wife, right. Then who's gone through 16 consecutive miscarriages is thriver from childhood sexual abuse and, and legitimately fits that role. Well, and this is the comment that he left on LinkedIn. Right? And I'm just kind of written to read this to you. And I would love to hear what your ideal responses and I think I know what it is, but I'm going to read it to you anyway. So this guy, I'm going to read it verbatim it doesn't make very good sense. He is an English speaker. I think he was very angry, angry when he wrote this. He wrote, you are a complete and utter asshole. Who thinks a leech in employment set you up on a pedestal. But really at the core, you are nothing substantial. I have zero respect for you. You disgust me and I hope you fail miserably. What would be your response to that? Vitrail.

Simona B: 00:33:41

Sending love just just

Laban Ditchburn: 00:33:46

type the word sending love.

Simona B: 00:33:49

I would put heart emoji that's what I like. But he needs love. needs love. People who have love and are completely immersed in love would never ever respond the way he did. So if I give him love from me, someone else gives love someone else. He will start shifting without love. It will stay who he is. And I know because I've been there. I was responding in the way Oh, you know, shut up before blah, blah, blah. It doesn't help. It doesn't. It just makes it worse. It's like he's like my kids. If I the mess about the fight and the just do the things that you know, out of control and I just do that My sister way, right? You punished is that even makes it worse? Because they messed about even more. So by punishing someone, you just make situation worse. Yeah, I have a little quote just in front of me, which is very resonating, we will be talking. It says. So bad people, let's call them bad people, people that live in order to get comfort in their lives to get greed and profit to to get greed and training and greed, comfort greed and profit seeking for that say that. So, they actually are seeking for the kind of profit where one person or group of people benefit at the expense and suffering of another. So understanding that the person who made the comment will be fulfilled by the expense of you suffering. And whenever they do better, because now he feels better and higher than you, whenever Did you better have the expense of someone else hurting or doing worse? They actually doing worse for themselves. So that kind of profit that they will gain designs the path for them that leads nowhere. So depends now what do we want to do? Do we want them to go nowhere? Or do we want to help everyone? So we leave the earth a better place? After we I don't know I said job our bodies? I don't know if that makes sense. But he just wants to profit in the expense of your suffering. And that's not going to happen because you're not suffering. You're just loving

Laban Ditchburn: 00:37:24

it No, thanks. Perfect sense. I I really, I was hoping that you were going to respond with you know, labor and sometimes it's okay, just to beat the hell out of people. The and I realized that's not to say the trouble is the guy is 14,000 miles away. So for me to go out of my way to go give this guy a hiding is an extreme waste of energy and not going to help anyone at all. I did respond, I took some time to really think about it, it really upset me because I don't get a lot of hate mail. But as my profile starting to grow, you inherently attract people that are superduper unhappy with themselves. And and they are, you know, telegraphing their, their own bullshit on to you for lack of a better phrase, right? And I just thought about it for a minute. I was like how unhappy is this guy to post such a, like unbelievably, vitriolic statement on a professional networking site that he uses to find work. And the post has had maybe 1500 2000 views now of which he helped drive engagement because he commented on it, which is even more ironic. And potential hiring managers will see that and they will remember that. So he's done enough damage to himself. I did post a meme that had Abraham Simpson from The Simpsons, and it's a it's a screenshot and of a newspaper article saying old man yells at Cloud. And that was the extent I, I would like to go back maybe to delete that. And just to say, his name is Francois, right? Hey, Francois. I love you, man. Right. Like, and I even feel better saying that out loud. So I'm, I really appreciate you sharing that insight. Simona it's, it's, we you know, we're all just ongoing works in progress and the fact that you know, from a year ago to now that you are saying that you are now becoming way more enlightened to being able to respond but because it sucks so much energy from us when we get angry and we respond in such a that's why places like Twitter, you know, can destroy your mental health if you if you if you don't understand the parameters of success right So, some I know, there'll be certain people listening to this that really resonate with your unbelievably warm style, you've got a thing I love about you, we've spent a number of hours on calls prior to this. And I'm really privileged to get to gotten to know you better. And I know we haven't shared a heap of deep stuff about your past and your background. And, you know, maybe that's for another episode one day in the future. But you've overcome incredible adversity. And you should be so proud of the person that you've become and the mom that you are and the impact that you're having on those boys. But for people that want to get to know you more, or want to be coached by you, what's the best way for people to find you?

Simona B: 00:40:45

Email? I would go all fashion thing, email. What's your email address? The adjust is very easy to remember. It's it's the domain that I I was feeling so lucky that it was free, you know, because it just describes me. It's my name. So it's tomorrow ads. And domain is I care about you? No gaps. No spaces, no big or small. or small letters yet? Smaller ad. I care about you.co.uk.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:41:30

Si, Mo and I add, I care about you.co.uk.

Simona B: 00:41:35

That's fine.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:41:38

semana. Do you have any concluding thoughts for our amazing audience today?

Simona B: 00:41:44

audience and you? So again, you know, I'm a listener, my name Simona means here and listen, so I want it or not, I hear and I listen, you said after you read the comment, you said it made you angry. Now think didn't make you angry. And I would think that people who are listening will, will may get some benefit from what I'm going to say as well. Nothing is making you angry, it's that you became angry of what you've seen. So I would suggest you imagine that you are the person like security guard, who is in charge with the to allow these feelings to overcome you. It's like being security guards in the concert where lots of girls wants to go screaming, shouting, throwing their bras and things. And their security guards says, Yeah, go on. And then everybody just run inside, and you are the person who is in charge to let everybody in. And if you allow those emotions overcome you, then then it's your choice isn't? You are

Laban Ditchburn: 00:43:21

correct. And I know this, but I'm so grateful that you can politely gently remind me and I think this is the beauty of being around other people that are in this space and to you know, doesn't matter how develop we are and how much work we've done on ourselves. We this is a really great point of we need to continue to be around people that can help us remain accountable to our own action does not someone making me feel bad, I'm allowing myself to feel feel bad and I really appreciate you sharing that Simona

Simona B: 00:44:02

You're very welcome. Yes, you can't be angry. Obviously you can the anger is those girls that screaming but what do you do with that? It's entirely up to you.

Laban Ditchburn: 00:44:14

Ladies and gentlemen, Simona B.