Making a Difference and Self-Acknowledgement - Alex Dumas

TUCP Intro/Outro: 00:00:08

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast conversations from being inspired by the book The Ultimate Coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be, it is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from being

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:00:48

The day I'm happy to be here with Alex Dumas he is one of the original Fantastic Four, who created the the first ultimate experience. And for those of you who don't know the depths of this human being, I'm going to read a little bit of his bio. Alex Dumas is the co founder of abundance daily coaching and vice president of the bipoc Coach collective. He's an expert in sales and marketing with a track record generating six figures in revenue and six figure launches. He has a background in psychology and a decade of leadership experience in the nonprofit world. Alex also knows what it's like to do everything that's expected of you but feel empty. He struggled for years, but hid behind jokes and seeking approval. So he could fit in. It was really a mask for the pain and loneliness he constantly felt. And it led to using drugs for years and keeping anyone who wanted to get close to him at arm's length. Alex is now a husband and a father with years of deep personal work behind him since 2018. He's partner. He has partnered with his wife, Sarah, I didn't realize you guys work together. Look, I'm learning this now. Who has been a consultant to startup companies and companies with over 80 million in revenue to create high performance business and consulting firm. leaders who are committed to creating their team culture with enthusiasm and effective listening are the ones who call Alex. So yeah, reach out to him at the real Alex do moss.com This is not supposed to be a shout out for his business. But I have to shout out his business because I think he's an awesome human being. And, and for those of you who don't know, I'm Cordelia ghafar, the other woman and the lead for the ultimate coach podcast. Welcome to the show.

Alex Dumas: 00:02:55

Awesome. Thank you so much for that intro. Appreciate it. It always feels interesting hearing about me, right? It's like, oh, that's me. But as you're reading, like, in my head, I'm like, Oh, my God. Yeah, I dude. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. Who is it? No, that's me. I'm the guy. I'm the one.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:03:14

You are the one. And when did you find that out?

Alex Dumas: 00:03:18

Gosh, I think it's still a process of continuing to learn that in embody that. I don't know if there's a specific time where I was like, yeah, that's gets me. I think through the process of creating my own document, revising it, thrown it out, redoing it and re re re excavating more and more. And it's just been a gradual process of recognizing that and also, the actions behind it have, it's easy for me to say like, Hey, I'm more gray code and really powerful creators and that I will do, how do I do? How do I substantiate that? Oh, yeah, let me help people serve people. That's how I do it. And when people started coming out of the woodworks, like, wow, you made a difference from here. Hey, I heard you talk here. And this. I don't even know why I did that. Or I don't know if this happens to you a lot of times, like, Wow, thank you for what you said. What did I say? Yeah, you know what I said, it just, it happens. It comes through me from me. Then I move on to the next thing. So

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:04:23

Yeah, what do you pause and acknowledge yourself in between?

Alex Dumas: 00:04:27

Yeah, I've gotten a lot better at that. It allowed a lot more now because I see the importance of it. Like it's it can easily go Go, go, go go. And that's the kind of culture I came from. And this prosperous coach universe is ultimate coach world is like, slow, slow, slow for a second. Slow down. Let's be here. Let's be present in what's going on. And that's fun for me to reflect on those things of Oh, yeah, like I did do that. Right. Oh, yeah. I am. If I did have this conversation, this person, and yeah, I am able to do these things. And I have done these things, and fuels me for the things that are to come and is now looking into the future like, Man, I hope I get there one day is like, oh, and I can't, that's gonna be fun when we do this, but like, what's I'm enjoying what's happening right now. And also recognizing knowledge. What the past has been, whether it's been things I've wanted things I didn't want. It's all taught me a lesson.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:05:27

Yeah. So now you're a lot more present. Is that something that is a result of your reading the ultimate coach book, I know you were one of the original original, like manuscript readers.

Alex Dumas: 00:05:42

Yeah, the book is definitely accelerated that which is funny, right? Because it's almost slowing down. But acceleration. It's, it's done both things at the same time, right. Like Steve says, two things can be true. At the same time, then, yeah, there's been a result of that, that book and just a lot of other work to that I've done with myself for myself done with other people. And continue to do.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:06:08

Yeah, and I heard you talk about your document, too. So the refining of the document. I'm wondering, did you start that process with Philip which, or

Alex Dumas: 00:06:20

just and no, we didn't. I think I already had a version of it. Before we started working together in 2022. So I think it's somewhere in 2021. As well, as we started to formulate, I gotta give a shout out to my guy, Devin Bendis. And he really helped expand my way of looking at it because I have one I shared it with the he shared his with me, it is not the comparison game, but I was like, Oh, his his like, light years. Like he's done some work on this. Like I can tell he's what he's said and what, what I've said that that my thing was bad. No, I'm not judging it. But I was like, Okay, there's definitely a layer more than I can start carving out. And I started going through that process with myself and looking at all these things of where I wanted to forgive myself. These things were I judge who I blame people where else have said was now with myself. And I kind of think of it like a phoenix from the ashes. Like literally as I was writing it. I started to think like, Alright, I am happiness. And that's the first thing cleared I want to claim that first like I am happiness. Not anything else makes me happy. Not that any circumstance like no, that's just me, I am that.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:07:39

That's remarkable. I love that part. Just because, right? We're recording this right after you being on the free to be show. Right? And we were talking about your struggle for happiness, like seeking it outside of you. So I love that you declared that for yourself at the top of your document.

Alex Dumas: 00:08:00

Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's for me, it's got to be there. Because, you know, people will see me like, oh, you saw light already. So like, well, that's only coming from a lot of darkness, a lot of internal, my judgments about things in my perception about how it thinks should be in order to be this. Guess who's gonna win reality or me? Which one is tougher? Which one's stronger? Right reality's gonna have the last laugh the end of the day? So instead of pushing against them, like alright, let me hold let me see what it can give me. Why can use from it and manipulated and not manipulated in a way of like, get an overall somebody you are or gaming something, but just how do I use it for my advantage? And that's what I've been starting to see in have seen. And it's fun for me as the game.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:08:51

So what iteration of your document are you on? Or is it set? Like you can you can repeat it every day in the year that

Alex Dumas: 00:08:59

Jay you know, it's interesting about the document because for the past couple months, I've I'm gonna say a table or put that aside, but I was like, You know what, I want to leave you where it is because I was in a daily practice ritual like no morning night listening, listening to my own audio version of it. In US that was like you know it some things don't feel fully aligned right now. Which is fine. A little punch at the side. But there's plenty of times where things happen in like, oh yeah, decimal snap because like I create that like that's, you know, it'd be something is like a I'm the best adversary ins like when I'm doing that. Oh, yeah, I am. The I do value miners do treasure. Yeah, I do project on my life. Yeah, my kids. I'm the best father. I do create them with encouragement, praise and recognition, right. It's just these things. And I've, I It feels more fun for me that way versus having to be like, Alright, I gotta read in order. I just it's no different from from a prayer to God. Right? It doesn't have to be this formal. Alright, I'm on my knees, Father, now that I talked to God, like I thought, Oh, my keys in my lever Jesus like, I think of them as like a friend like a brother like I would talk to them like that talk. It doesn't have to be this very controlled and Reverend thing like I have respect for it. And I honor the document. I honor it, that part of it of who I am. But also CNS work and get playful for that work. I get queasy. And when he shows up, right, when it shows up in different days of my life I, of course, because that's who I am. Of course, this happened. I am that. So it's meant to be. Yeah. Your question? No.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:10:49

No, I'm listening. And I'm, it's making me think a couple of things. Like, I hear you, being a conduit for your own enlightenment, I hear you being in gratitude for, you know, recognizing what you're creating. And what was the other thing that you made me think of? I hear that it's a practice. You know? It's a practice, right? Yeah. It's not a it's not. Like you were saying there's no rigidity to it. Yeah.

Alex Dumas: 00:11:34

That's, there's particular rules of games, right. But how do we think about like the greats, the numbers do sports, for example, because that's the easiest, tangible thing, right? I mean, think about somebody like Floyd Mayweather, Tom Brady, Jerry Rice, Randy Moss, like the top of the top quintile of crime, we see them on game day, and oh, my God, they're amazing. Of course, they're able to catch these many passes and throw for as many yards and land these punches and, and run this fast. But those green ones they love practice in recipes to Kobe, he was maniacal about training, he loved that process. And with the space of transformation, this game that you and I play, the coaching, practices, the fun, that's where all the juices and once is lights on game day by another person. It's like maca to show you all this stuff that I've done now. And that didn't show up not to be impressive, but it's like, I get to use all these things that I've been working on in the gym, you weren't looking when I was doing a turnaround. You were looking when I was doing this combination, but you're gonna get to feel the impact of it. Because behind the scenes, I'm practicing this all the time. And even when I mess it up on Google where I'm screwing up Remagen, right, perfect. Either looking at the iPad, and that's inspiring. This didn't go the way I wanted to. How do I play with that? No, this situation, this conversation wasn't until I wanted Well, where am I coming from that I want something? Right? outcome? That is something.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:13:13

Yeah. Because you like you were saying something earlier about serving. Right. So I'm hearing you now say, I get to serve another person with all my practices, you know? Yeah. And is that is that accurate? Am I hearing that right? Yeah,

Alex Dumas: 00:13:32

yeah, you're right on in the best times, obviously, that practice is to come out is one we don't want to

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:13:41

that's the fun part.

Alex Dumas: 00:13:43

When you're you kids might be screaming, you might be in a store, you're trying to rush you gotta get somewhere to go, you got to do this and that and you know, your, your new living life. But life is living you in that case, instant where it's like a snap at somebody or I have a judgmental thought. And then I get to play with that idea. Like, where did it come from? Why am I seeing it that way? They're not to make myself once I got us interested in that I saw this interaction with my son or my daughter or my wife in this way. Like what happened here and just run the game film real quick. And with the practice, is always I will always want to start at the real source of like, Alright, how did I create this? How did I make this happen? And it's not the blame game myself, but I want to take ownership of every interaction, everything that happens because it's mine to own. I can't say well, I was you know, a little bit frustrated with my kids know this because Cordelia you know, we're on a green shirt today, you know, sheen or blue shirt. If she didn't wear that shirt. I would have been right like that's, that's Wow, you're in DC. I'm in North Carolina. And what are you talking about? Well, we do these things like, Oh, if only they had done that, then I'm like, nope, timeout right. Okay, where are you at? Oh, this is what happened. This is what I did. Or this is what I felt this is what I thought, This is what I saw,

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:15:08

like, where's my responsibility in this? And like, so what are some of your values that have come up? Because, like, when you're saying that I know, like, when I don't know what it is for you, but for me when I'm with my kids, right, because they're, they're just the greatest reflectors of who we're being, you know, and you have an eight and 12 year old, too, I have an eight and 12 year old too, and I have other ones that are older. Do they ever get any older than eight and 12. But I can see who I'm being right reflected in my children. And sometimes it's like, okay, I have to slow down and ask a simple question, not of myself, though, you know, because I want to be in service to my children, too, right? So when I'm at a loss, my practice has become, how can I serve you better? What what is it that I'm missing in this situation, you know, and so and they, they come back with some very colorful responses, as you know, they do at those ages. And that's not very different. This practice has been great for me, because now, if I have an, a situation with the client, you know, I can say like, this happened in a session the other day, you know, you know, she was telling me all the things that people in her life were doing. And I was like, so, yeah, this is such a great opportunity for you to have compassion, like, what do you what could you do to like, make their life better? Or what could you be a stand for in your life that could make both your lives better? And she was like, oh, yeah, like, didn't think about that. So like, what? That's kind of a part of what I was hearing. And your story, too.

Alex Dumas: 00:17:16

Is that right? Yeah, that's definitely on point. And one of the things out, I like to share with my kids, especially when they're, you know, they're snapping at each other. It's like, Hey, is what we're saying, we're not helping or hurting? Are we helping each other? Are we hurting each other? Which one do you want to choose? And I want to always redirect them into this path of choice. And it's, it's still is a practice that I am continuing to learn because it's easy to be all powerful dad and don't like you got to do it and do it my way. And listen, because I've told you to. Alright, I can create them that way. And as they move through life and find their own path, they're going to be in this space of somebody's telling me what to do, because that's all I've ever known. Well, let's shift that. What do you get to choose? Choose choice? What are you talking about? As a kid for growing up? I'm grew up in my parents immigrated from Haiti, it was kind of like, you just do the thing, right? They say it, you do it. There's no real rebuttal going back and forth. And I want to create, I'm interested in predicting my kids like independently thinking of like, we're what choose to do or don't want to do. That's where the game the world opens up way. Because now it's something beyond just this. This is what is like not, there's something else that can see other things besides what you're seeing. And that comes from my choosing to help somebody or hurt somebody.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:18:53

In my choosing to help somebody or my choosing to hurt somebody. Yeah. And so what comes up like that person that you could be helping or hurting could be you as well. Yeah.

Alex Dumas: 00:19:07

And yeah, you have to when you're also, we're in we're a byproduct of that. I'm helping somebody I'm serving somebody I'm serving myself. It's kind of a selfish it's a two way exchange, right to paying it forward, holding the door open for somebody. You know, this happened the other day. Those two women walk in open the door from the I'm just all just hoping to standing there and they walk by and they pass in wounds. Oh, thank you. No problem. All right. Thank you. You're welcome. Right. It wasn't like in the past, it might have been you for that same door open and they walked through like, you're welcome. Yeah.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:19:48

Where were you? Where were you coming from? Right. I see the difference. There's now you're just like, from a place of service, it helps them It helps you right? Even though everybody can get Do the door.

Alex Dumas: 00:20:01

Yeah, he's gonna hold the door open, like, I'm gonna do that whether you give me the credit or accolades, I don't need to keep score, that's, I have the score in my head, like, our house might be something good. You know, I don't do it to get anything. Right. It's you said that important we're all coming from. And that was a challenge in the past for me, like, I want to get to a place I'm going to get somewhere. And I forget like, oh, I have to come from it. First. I have to create it first, then you'll appear to me.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:20:29

Yeah. Yeah. You had said before, when we were talking about the creation of the ultimate experience, the original one in Phoenix, it you were part of that team? You said that? You were the black hole? Sure. Right. So that's what I think of when I hear you say that. Tell me more about that. Yeah, the

Alex Dumas: 00:20:53

black hole game, we would mess around with it. And it's kind of an offshoot of one of those will previously one of the only original pieces of footage of Steve with TBO li T NFL where he talks about commitment being a black hole. And with this ultimate experience, my comrades are fantastic for Judy Julian Xavier. We all got to experience that firsthand on what it looks like when we gave ourselves you know, we had this deadline, we had January 23 2022. To make this happen, Judy, she enrolled me as the first person on November 11, on 1111, which is hilarious.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:21:31

You know, we had a conversation, and you reached out to me on 1112. I remember you invited me I was. So that was the

Alex Dumas: 00:21:37

next day. Okay, it was the very next day. So we had a conversation. She told me this idea. And I was like, yeah, man, let's go. But I like wild unconventional things. And she's definitely one of these unconventional people follow the vision of Mike Yeah, amen. Let's go, let's make this happen. In the next week, the 18th, that's when we get tickets for sale, and we just didn't stop until 23rd We just kept going. And that level of commitment from all of us was something I don't know if I don't think anybody outside of the teams that have put one thing together in India together and in the future events that will happen will ever really understand as far as what, what it took. Because it it took a lot of energy and a lot of focus and also a lot of intention. As far as being on it, right of the NBF tickets movie of things we have, we have this whole scene screen, we got to make sure that things are what they are and credit to Steve. He not that he cares about, like his brand, or his name or anything like that. But like he's trusted relatively for strangers to be again, you can name drop me and use me and use the book and, and put this event together for us. And you know, that's a lot of trust. That's a lot of a lot of faith in your for individuals. And he made it clear to us and the other speakers like you're not coming here for a self promo thing. This is not a sell from the stage happened deal. This is not a whatever kind of event you experience before, we're going to create something that is about the audience about the person in the chair. And, you know, going back to tie this all in, right, the commitment being the black hole. That's what we wanted to make. I think that's what we did. We didn't make and it's you can see a now one incident one, India's been one, wherever the next one is going to be is an offshoot it's, it's all connected.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:23:36

It'll be okay to say because I think this is gonna go live after the official announcement. So yeah, the next one will be brought Birmingham in the UK next year. Yes. Do your mates accent ever heard? One of the link? Well, that's why last See, you thought yours was bad?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:24:12

Oh, yeah, we have to have fun because you have declared I am happiness. So

Alex Dumas: 00:24:18

it was not fun. It doesn't get done. Yeah, I

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:24:21

love that. You know, I'm wondering so do you still reference the ultimate coach book on a daily basis

Alex Dumas: 00:24:30

in referencing like we did or like refer to like themes inside of the book?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:24:35

Well, I guess there are two questions there. Right. So the one question is like sometimes for myself when I struggle with things, right? Like, I'll go to the section on love. It's like, How can I be more loving and here because I'm not feeling the love right. So I'll go to a specific section. Then there is the the revisiting of the book as a whole that I do because I have to stay In the reading because I do this, so. So, which is it for you? Or is it both?

Alex Dumas: 00:25:08

Yes, a little bit of both. And sometimes the question that will pop up in my mind if I'm feeling really anxious or annoyed with my kids, you know, I'll kind of hear like Steve whisper like, oh, who would you be to be a more effective parent? Or were loving parent? Let's see, get my head man. Shut up. Leave me alone. But at the same time, I was like, alright, yeah, who would I need to be like, are no of my own document? If I think about like, Oh, am I being the best father? Am I being the greatest father to Giuliani? AJ right. Now, this is what the greatest father would do? No, probably not. This is what the best half of Sarah would do. Would he say this? Or would you judge her this way? Would you look at her this way? Not he wouldn't. Okay, let's turn around, let's clean it up, then. That's just the the constant game right, the constant queendom game recognized, and I made a little mess as little spill. So I put up not to, like, hide the evidence, but it's like, alright, it's just a mess. I don't like a mess. I don't I don't accept the messes in my life. I stay complete with staying on, like a clean free sense of things are running as smooth as I can. And when they aren't. That's perfectly fine, too. I'm not gonna judge in the market and be like, Why is it this way? Yes. How it is now what I want to do about it.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:26:28

Yeah. So how's that supported your operating system? It looks like it? You know, that would be an easy way? Because before you answer that, though, I do want to mention, what Alex is talking about is the back of the book has the questions that we have to you know, this is what we must read. So the way the book is read it, even if you read 10 pages today, right? And then let's say tonight, before you go to bed, you want to read it again, you read the backside of the book, right where it says Dear potential reader, as you may have noticed, there are no testimonials on the back cover of this book. Right? So you and then there's a list of questions. Who would you need to be to be a more loving person? Who would you Who would I need to be to be more effective parent and those questions? Right. So that's that. And then again, before you start reading the book, there are two pages in the front that Steve wrote himself that says, Before you begin, right, and so every single time you pick up the book, this is these are the instructions. So that's, as you can see, his programming has changed. So this is where the questions coming from. So now you may answer the question again. How has your operating system changed? Right? Like who you were being prior to this recreation of you?

Alex Dumas: 00:27:59

Yeah. What I would say is that it's heightened the awareness of it of heightened where I get to see where I'm being critical of other people and you know, start with myself where I'm condemning myself and we talked about on your show about like, the courtroom and I'm gonna go into a whole thing here, but just thinking about like, Alright, were Am I condemning myself or my sentence and myself? And then is there an opportunity for me to be free? My Can I pardon myself? Can I give myself some grace and give myself some credit here? And then I get to see that with my kids, and there'll be times where they'll say something like, Oh, that's so mean. Like, I will say that and then the other side of it is like, oh my goodness, it's so me. Why would they do that? Why would they say that? Or how could they do it? I'm like, oh, that's because they're learning from me like it's my energy field. They're my little energy sparks my aura is rubbing off on them. So let me be very, very cautious of like, how am I creating myself and when I first got my whole hands on the manuscript receive sent it to me. This is a like a mouthful for July weekend and 2021 and I was spending time at my in laws in New Jersey. And I was just absorbed this book and I never had an experience with a book like I had with this one where I don't know if you had the same thing, but it felt like electricity is the best I can describe it. I just felt like different things inside of you like my heartbeat, heartbeat racing. It felt like I was doing like a full run on a marathon. My heart's pounding i just as just to see all these different areas of my life where I can enhance on graded and it was really powerful. And then obviously, when the full book got launched in, in release, just going through it again, right before the ultimate experience. I'm ready. I intended to read it twice already. One like one halftime, so I was kind of like, Oh, I didn't finish. I didn't do what I said I was gonna do. Okay. I got like, 75% there, but I was already engaged fully in fully on with the book. So the answer your question to kind of wrap this up, I was just say, the best example I can give us like for people listening, I have glasses on right now. So my glasses are off. My glasses are on, right? It's like, can't see even clearer what's going on? Oh, this is what life looks like, through the lens of loving people loving myself.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:30:35

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. That's, that's very beautiful. And I guess to answer your question, you kind of asked me a question there. Yeah, I, I saw how much I was not living from a world of possibility. And, you know, previously, I considered myself a very, very positive person. And so, reading that book made me realize, you know, oh, there are more possibilities, right. And so mathematically, we know that there you know, infinite possibilities. And so that just made it more real for me. Yeah. Oh, Alex, I love talking to you so much. In this is like, a double triple thing for us. Because, like, we haven't talked in a long time, either. So thank you for saying yes to being on the ultimate coach podcast today. And I

Alex Dumas: 00:31:34

you summon me like I'm like, I'm gonna write you ultimate joy God at the joy manga manga V. I'm actually will i am your joys. I will do as you say, but no, it's I just love our friendship, how we've been able to connect it was so fun was really interesting. was, you know, seeing you at the experience and like seeing you now, right? Because before you know, you had the hijab, you're obviously bundled up, but you know what I mean? Like, oh, like, I remember the first time I saw it, like you knew one of your pitches, like, also, videos, like, I don't think I really connect like, oh, this she has here she like like, oh, wow, I'm like, no same example. Like, oh, I'm like really seeing Cordelia like, she's this incredibly powerful woman, loving mother, in this person who give so much to to the world. And then once you started to get involved with this podcast, like, Oh, this is really just like the cherry on top. Like, it's great to hear you experience you and then to have known you and be with you. And that's us even more fun. So I'm just excited for what you do with this team, what you're doing your business and in what you're given to the world. So thank you for that. I know this. Flowers gotta get the flowers. Well, I can.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:32:59

I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you for acknowledging me for that. And, and for seeing me. And that was the other thing I was gonna say about reading the book I felt seen and heard, you know, because I was like, Hey, I'm that person. You know, that that book is not about Steve. It really isn't. It's about me.

Alex Dumas: 00:33:22

Yeah, I mean, that's why I had to start the thing with like the secret chapter, right? Because as I was reading a book, it wasn't jealousy. It wasn't been like, yeah, I need to be in the spotlight for a minute. If I do the thing. Like, if you go through like a family photo album, who's the first person you're looking for you look out for you. Yeah, we'll see you, right. And notice the pictures that don't include you, which is fine. And that's where ideally

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:33:51

you were born yet.

Alex Dumas: 00:33:52

Just wasn't born yet. But I saw that possibility might you know, I need to make my own vignette. Like my own chapter for me. Then I did that. Oh, did you? Yeah, I was

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:34:06

I should have asked you that question. Let's extend this read it. No, I mean, you don't have to.

Alex Dumas: 00:34:13

Yeah, no, not in this book. Because, okay. So what I decided to do for myself was like every year, it was November 24. When I first got my hands on a book, so I called it my bday like, Oh, get a new version of this, reread it for a moment. So this is blank slate and start again. So the old one I have has a parts of my document written on the outside mangle this to my book.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:34:45

Yeah, you know, this is I have not actually that's a good point. So in the back of the book, there are was about five or six pages. You can actually write your own vignette in the book. They're blank pages into additionally left there for that purpose. So there's that. I don't know that we bring that up in every interview, but I think I'm going to start doing that. So people will hear it every episode. You know, like, by the way, when you're done reading it, write your own vignette at the back.

Alex Dumas: 00:35:14

So I'll give myself my flashback because like that, that's SME creation. I started. That's not to take credit, but like I'm taking credit.

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:35:25

Yes, you're supposed to take credit. Absolutely. So I acknowledge you for that. And, and for celebrating your B day every year.

Alex Dumas: 00:35:33

Yeah, it's fun. It's fun to do to book and see new things. And I love what you said about like, this book being seen being heard, right? Because when you're reading it from that place, it's easy to get caught up in like, man, Steve's awesome, which he is, he's an amazing human being loved them. Analysts also, wow, this is where I've been like that. Obviously, what happened to me, Oh, this one I could do, then I can be with somebody with a client, you know, be in my community, and help somebody out in a very radical and rapid way. I don't have to wait for your help I feel about this. Do I want to like not just a go? I do. Right, like inspire thought, then the action afterwards is like, back to back. Before it used to be a gap of like, I have this thought. How do I feel about this? Do I deserve to do a woman wanted so much work? Right? So a lot of works like? Oh, actually clap?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:36:35

Yeah, it's still free now. And like people, like freak out. So you got your dog excited. What's his name? Her name?

Alex Dumas: 00:36:43

Oh, yeah. So him and her a Samsung in stores. So she's she's Karina possibility of protecting our house from evil packages?

Cordelia Gaffar: 00:36:56

I love it. Yes. So see, even your dog can change their state of being? Yeah, well, this is this has been a great conversation, I just want to encourage everyone to remember to read the book about yourself when you're done. You know, more important, I know a lot of people are drawn to creating their document, there's a really involved process in that that really requires the collaboration, I would say with a coach. And we have I think Dave Orton is working or we are actually as a community working on creating a course for it. But it will be facilitated. It'll be partially live with Dave, Oregon, I believe. And so I want to also give some acknowledgments here, you mentioned Devin Vandusen. He's an amazing human being, we both know him, and he's very loving and kind and humble. And I'm so happy to know he's the one that supported you with that, because he was my introduction to the document and to this book, also, before you believe it or not, like he told me this book is being written and I'm like, I don't believe it. And then you were like, this book has been written I was like, Oh my gosh, did I doubt? Oh, of course, I want to acknowledge you know, Steve Hardison for for the work that he does and who he is being and and on all the other hosts for this podcast, Meredith Bell and Phillip are too. And so share this with another heart. Share this with another soul. And you can create who your being only always, on always. Until next time, be aware of who you're being.

Alex Dumas: 00:38:51

Stay blessed. See you love you brother salt and pepper.