The Power of Asking and Listening - Theresa Campbell

TUCP Intro/Outro: 00:00:08

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach Podcast conversations from being inspired by the book, The Ultimate coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply, visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from B.

Meredith Bell: 00:00:48

Thank you for joining us today on the ultimate coach Podcast. I'm Meredith Bell, your host for this episode. And I'm very excited to have a conversation with Theresa Campbell, who's a business and life coach. She's also the founder of her life, her legacy, and the facilitator of group coaching programs. Teresa, welcome to The Ultimate coach podcast.

Theresa Campbell: 00:01:14

Thank you so much for having me. Meredith, this is really exciting. I'm happy to be here.

Meredith Bell: 00:01:19

You know, Teresa, you and I have known each other now for a few years, thanks to Melissa Ford, give a shout out to her. And there's just something in your presence. That to me is inspiring. And I know that the listeners of this show are going to really benefit from our conversation. And I think it would be great to kick it off by asking you because you have gotten to know Steve Hardison. You scheduled a be with session with him and I would love for you to talk about how did you learn about him? And then what did you do in preparation for that session with him? Sure. capsulize what happened during and then afterwards?

Theresa Campbell: 00:02:07

Okay, so how did I learn about Steve? To be honest with you, Meredith, I've always been one of those people who when I learned from one person, I'm always looking at well then who did he learn from? And then who did he learn from and who did he learn from? So, in 2011, I hired my very first life coach, a guy named Jacob Sokol. And I remember just really enjoying, like, what I was learning and I learned at the time, his coach was a guy named Brian Johnson. Brian Johnson was being coached by Steve Chandler, Steve Chandler was being coached by Steve Hardison, and then it appeared like, you know, the buck stops there. So I knew at that point that I needed to learn from Steve Hardison, but that was back in 2011. And it wasn't until 2015, where I had the courage if you will, to reach out and friend him on Facebook. And it took about three years of him just serving and loving and gifting me audios and books and programs through direct message. When I finally turned around and decided, you know, what, we'll actually didn't decide I was nudged. Because, as you know, my work is really focused on listening. And that had been something I've been practicing diligently since 2011. And the day came after I had continued my coaching journey and work on myself and building my practice where I said, Okay, there's a missing piece to this puzzle. I don't know what it is. So I got still, and I got quiet. And then Steve Hardison 's name kind of floated up in my spirit. And I said, Okay, well, it's time to reach out to him, it's time to connect. And I don't even know why I don't even know what it is. But I was prompted to reach out to him. So that's really how this started back in 2011, just knowing that I would want to learn from him. And then essentially waiting and asking, and listening when it felt like I didn't know where to go next.

Meredith Bell: 00:04:20

So when did you decide what it was you wanted to talk with him about in that session with him?

Theresa Campbell: 00:04:32

When I reached out to him, I want to say it was about eight or nine months before I actually met with him. So I didn't know all I knew is that I had, you know, eight to nine months to figure out what was what we were going to talk about. And in addition to that, he also gave me like 13 Different homework assignments to do over the course of eight months. A bunch of books to read articles to read his website to read so there was a lot of work that was happening. Between that initial reaching out having the conversation, and then getting to the B with so by the time, eight or nine months rolled around, I was really clear that there was like, I felt like I was missing a piece to the puzzle. I knew that I wanted to become more of myself. I knew I wanted to become more of myself. And even though I didn't really know what that meant, because I journal, I could go back and see that I was curious about bringing my full self meaning the spiritual part of myself to my life into my work. So I wanted to talk about that. And I had no idea what my question even was. And I just knew I was only going to have two hours. So I wrote him a letter. So I could stay focused and clear and not kind of veer off on things that I could, at the time work with Melissa Ford on. So I knew that there was this thing I didn't have words for. And that's what that's how I narrowed it down. I don't really know if that answers your question. I hope it did. But that's

Meredith Bell: 00:06:04

yeah, because just thinking about you did a lot of preparation in, in making the most of the time that you had with him. And so without going into necessarily the content of what you covered. When you left there, either, how were you different, or how were you thinking differently about yourself and about what you wanted to do.

Theresa Campbell: 00:06:33

I left there seeing myself and Steve, like I went to see myself essentially meaning my potential, my capacity, my range, and my experience of Steve. And you know, people say this all the time, like, oh, that thing you admire and somebody else like that's in you, because you couldn't see it if you didn't have access to it. And what I experienced in that session was pure love. And then I also saw a willingness to be very gentle, and loving and nurturing all the way to like, yelling, like passionate like very, very clear, like you will get this before you leave this office, if I'm willing to die for you to get this message. Like that was the experience of it. And the reason that was so important for me, specifically, as a Christian, I later had somebody reach out to me because they saw Christ in me. And as anybody knows Steve's declaration, I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ, that is one of mine as well right? At the time, and it was very interesting to see, ah, this is an example of a willingness to weep with somebody. And then also like Braid the whip and knock over tables and do what needs to be done to get a message across. So he gave me permission to unleash, like all aspects of myself, including the spiritual parts of me that I had been kind of holding back out of fear of what other people would think. So there was a lot of self forgiveness that happened in that two hours, there was a lot of demand like a, like a physical demonstration of who I am and what I have the capacity to create, and two hours with another human being, and that he gave me permission to unleash that in the world. And then my year long group coaching program after that was called it has been called unleashed up until now. So it was, it was wonderful to have an example of what was possible, like right in your face.

Meredith Bell: 00:08:47

So let's, let's kind of fast forward now to today. And you and I were talking earlier, the word storm has taken up, meaning for you living in Florida, having experienced a storm very recently, but also another one as we record this coming in November. So talk about the different storms that you have experienced this year, and what's been your response to them.

Theresa Campbell: 00:09:22

So the reason I love storms is because I believe that they are required for our growth and development, like physical like literal storms, as well as internal storms like the turmoil that we can feel in the chaos on the inside. And there's a song and Hamilton were one of the lyrics says in the eye of the hurricane, there's quiet. And when I think about some of the most powerful people, those are the people that can be still and grounded in the midst of storms, or when I think about Jesus in the boat in the storm, he was asleep. So it's like, this is the piece that I have available to me at all times, based off of what I choose to listen to, right? So yes, we just, you know, had hurricane Ian, and now a subtropical storm, possibly hurricane Nicole is going to make her appearance in a couple of days. And I'm hosting her a three day retreat with clients that are flying in from other parts of the country. And three of two of the days, we're going to different venues. And it's like, okay, well, we just wrapped up my eight year olds birthday party, and I'm thinking us, it's going to be a great week, we're going to finalize these details for what was supposed to unfold right in my creation of this experience. And now it's this willingness to surrender, and have a plan B, and be okay with what is and continue to move forward with joy. And that sense of peace? Versus Oh, my goodness, what are we going to do? This is horrible. This is not how I imagined it, we can't go to the gardens and like all of the past kind of programming, or you would almost one would say like victim mindset of like, why is this happening to me? When am I gonna get a break all of that. And, and now it's like, well, no, like, everything happens for me. Everything. Even the things I don't like every storm is for me, if I'm willing to slow down and listen for how this is happening for me, not to me, and how this is going to create an even more transformational experience, how I show up who I'm being moment to moment as I communicate with the events team as I communicate with the attendees as I navigate canceled flights and all the different things and help people to still feel like even if they miss a day. They're a part of it. So hopefully, that aligns.

Meredith Bell: 00:12:18

Yes. Well, I think that there's a lot in what you said there that I think are lessons for all of us. Getting to the point where we truly see things for that are see everything that happens is being for us, is huge. And I'm curious, because I know how listening is such an integral part of who you are listening internally, as well as listening to others. Let's talk about how you have learned how to listen to that inner voice to the messages that you've gotten that you feel that you need to really pay attention to, and different your own feelings that you might have from the true message that you want to hear. Mm hmm.

Theresa Campbell: 00:13:10

So I love that you said like differentiating your feelings from the true message. Right. So there's oftentimes when we are triggered or when we're offended, or when something happens, that's not the way we wanted it to go or wasn't what we were expecting, or we're disappointed. There's a listening that's taking place and the disappointment and the sadness and our humanity of the experience, meaning our reaction to it. And for me to distinguish between the two, it comes from number one understanding that my ego will most often speak first. It just does. Because I'm a human, I don't have to. I think we've talked in the past about how I picture thoughts going by as trains like little train cars, and I allow them to move through, I allow them to move through my nervous system, and then I wait for the listening that would be really useful for what it is that I would love to create, given the circumstances. So I can't stop my thoughts. I can't shut off the conditioning from, you know, 30 some odd years of being programmed, programmed in a particular way. Now what I can do is be conscious of what's happening as that energy moves through my nervous system, allow it to do that, and then respond because there's always that space. So when a storm comes or when or maybe that's not a storm, maybe things aren't feeling easy. Or maybe things are like kind of like this isn't coming together or I might be feeling overwhelmed. I might have the physical response first, like, this is hard. I think I can share with you. Around this time last year. When I was getting ready to launch the group coaching program again. It wasn't feeling easy, and it was feeling challenging and my, you know, members of the community were like, what's the theme for next year? And when is it going to start? And can we start there was all of this energy around it, but I still there was a, there was something in me that was saying stop. And if I'm not willing to listen to either the physical reaction that says stop, just to understand what's going on over there. So ultimately, I've always believed that listening is the highest form of love. And if I'm willing to love myself, I will listen to the part that says, Stop. I won't keep trying to push forward. And when I do that, every time I've done that, I've gotten very clear on what's trying to get my attention. Right. So at that point in time, it was my coaching practice, it was saying, Hello, your business is called her life, her legacy. Look at the past eight clients you've enrolled. They're all men. Hello, right? Like, hello, you have someone who's asked for your support, and they have a terminal illness, you've never engaged in that way before. Hello, right. So I'm over here, like, oh, I should just, you know, do this, and we're gonna do unleashing, it's gonna, it's like, that's not listening to the voice that's like, hey, you've got this going on over here. Hey, you notice all these guys that you're supporting? Hey, here's another one that wants you to help him to be more like Jesus. So it was like, you asked, like, how do I learn to listen to that? For me, there's resistance. If I'm experiencing resistance, then I want to go look over there. I want to go listen to what's going on over there. Because you're right, I probably don't want to hear we're not going to do unleashed in this calendar year. I don't want to hear that. Right. You're gonna go tell your clients, hey, we're gonna take a pause. And you're not going to know how long that is. I don't want to hear that. I don't, I didn't want to hear a lot of that stuff. But I knew for my growth and development, let's go look at this storm and identify where you need to do some work young lady. Right. So that's how it shows up in me. There's resistance

Meredith Bell: 00:17:14

said there, Teresa. That to me are writer downers for people and one of them most important, I love your own growth and learning to to not just pay attention to, but stop or pause, really hear what is being communicated to you. And that's huge. The other thing you said that I just wrote down because I love it so much. Listening is the highest form of

Theresa Campbell: 00:17:42

love, under percent.

Meredith Bell: 00:17:45

And so I want you to talk a little bit about that. Because you know, me, the communication skills are heart and soul of what we do in our own work. And listening is that core skill. And you take it to such a beautiful level, that I feel like that is one of the gifts that you can give to this community of listeners talk about why is listening, the highest form of love.

Theresa Campbell: 00:18:15

Listening is the highest form of love. Because when when we're truly loved, we often feel seen, we often feel heard, and we often feel safe, and not judged. So part of the reason being with people and their pain, and their suffering, in their joy and in their just neutral state, not judging them, listening to them, seeing them, hearing them that's love. And oftentimes, we don't even love ourselves enough to listen to that part of us that has the resistance, I shouldn't say we don't love ourselves enough. We're not conscious, that that's an opportunity. So I want to listen to the light in me, as well as the darkness in me, because no part of me is not welcome here. Period. So when I will and that's how I am with other people. It's like, I don't it doesn't matter what you have going on, you can share that with me. There will be zero judgment. You can talk as you know, I've had clients later who've said, Hey, can we just sit in silence together for the next 40 minutes. And when that first happened, I was like, what like this is a coaching session. But what I realized was like this individual who asked for that, and it's others have asked later, want to experience feeling the presence of somebody themself included, that's not judging them, that fully sees them and that fully hears them and is not interrupting them is not inserting their own One opinion, or offering anything other than just a space for them to be. And that's why I think a B with is so powerful, because you can be who you are. And all of you as welcome. Not a single part of you. And that's love. So every part of you can be listened to by yourself by another or by God. That's love. Love is always in the room. But are you willing to hear it?

Meredith Bell: 00:20:28

Yeah, that's, that's so important than I think this whole listening to ourselves, because the contrast between doing and being, you know, we get so busy doing things that we don't slow down enough to just be. And there's a word that you used in an earlier conversation that I really want to dive into. Because for you the word unfold, has come a very important and deep meaning. And I would love for you to talk about that.

Theresa Campbell: 00:21:01

Yes, so where I am in my journey. Everything continues to unfold. There was a part of my journey. Where were I intentionally consciously created? What was unfolding or so I thought. But we're constantly like life is happening. Whether we do anything or not. Like we're sitting here, hairs, probably growing nails, or like think life is happening, right? Whether I do anything or not. So for me to be someone who a allows life to unfold, and chooses who I'm going to be in the unfolding, that has actually served me more and has allowed me to move and navigate through every storm with a greater sense of peace.

Meredith Bell: 00:22:03

What's the distinction you make between unfold and create?

Theresa Campbell: 00:22:10

Unfold, so a circumstance unfolds and then I decide what I would love to create. For me, that's how I approached it. So I can have desires, I can see something over there that I would love. And given who I'm choosing to be, which is somebody who is fully surrendered to God, then my will is also surrendered to God. So I might still desire that thing over there and move towards it. Understanding that it's all going to unfold as it should. There's no mistake that I ended up in a be with session with Steve. There's no mistake that like you and I are having this conversation. We laughed before we got on here, because you're like, Oh, yes. Let's talk about storms. And here it is Hurricane, tropical storm, Nicole, she's on her way. Right? So it's like there's an unfolding that's already happening. Regardless of what I want to happen, or you know, you can't make some of this stuff up. I do think, look at the synchronicity. And I'm willing to create from what unfolds, meaning my state of being my response, more love, more compassion, more forgiveness, more grace, and from that place, so much more creativity and power and wisdom can flow.

Meredith Bell: 00:23:29

You know, one of the things that as I'm listening to you, it sounds so easy and effortless for you. And yet I know, there's a lot of work that's gone into getting to the place of allowing, holding of not trying to force creativity, being grateful for things happening, you know, for you, what are some of the processes or events or whatever you want to describe, that have allowed you to get to this place? What was it like before? And what did it take?

Theresa Campbell: 00:24:09

What it was like before, was really believing what I call non useful listenings or the thoughts that we have about ourselves that are not useful. So before life was really heavily experience through my story, personal story, so programming, conditioning, a story of struggle, a story of things, always having to be hard, like it was a challenge to get into grad school, and it was a challenge to start the coaching practice and it was a challenge being one of the first African American, you know, children, families and an all white and affluent community, right where we weren't wealthy. So it's like, what parts of my story was I constantly listening to constantly I agree You're telling me retelling, right? As we're different wasn't necessarily good. Right? So what parts of my story was I continuing to live into, that made life hard? And what I'd be willing to forgive them, would I be willing to surrender those aspects like surrender that part of the story, or even just transcend it, and the name of creating love, trust, connection, abundance, all of it. But I had to get out of the stories that I was telling myself that were not serving me. And when I was able to identify kind of like those core wounds, if you will, or those core stories, when I move through life, if I am triggered, or if I get offended, or if something happens, when I slow down and listen, I can say, oh, yeah, that's, that's that childhood wound of like, not being seen, right middle child stuff. Or you're the only black person in the room, you better not make a disturbance, like those types of stories that were very heavy, but they move with you, until you're willing to bring them into the light. I don't remember who said it, but there's that quote, maybe it's Nietzsche, who says until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life. And you will call it fate. We can Google it after the podcast. Right. But if I'm not conscious of the story that I'm that I continue to tell myself moment, after moment, after moment experience after experience after experience, then I can be in a storm that I created every time or I can feel the initial Ooh. And I can listen to the part of me that wants to take things personally, I can listen to the part of me that thinks she knows best. I can listen to the part of me that has an MBA, I can listen to the part of me that spent X number of years in corporate America and think I have the answer. And then I can set all of that aside, and there is a truth that speaks very quietly, that might point back to your believing that part of your story again, and then am I willing to let that go? Am I willing to forgive it again? And then what would I love to create from this place? So if I had to, I even hesitate to give it a formula, because so much of this, your evolution happens, you can't skip it and unfolds. So just love where you are, because we are where we are. And that's just where we are. Now,

Meredith Bell: 00:27:37

yes, I just love what you said. Last point, I think especially we can read about or, you know, interact on social media with people that seem to be in our you know, we're judging ourselves, they are further along in their growth development, than than we are in this idea of evaluating instead of celebrating where we are, and the fact that our awareness is is now has now expanded a little bit more and maybe a little bit more. Think about the clients that you work with, rather than your own journey for a moment. And I know that because of your magnificent listening skills, you're able to really pick up some of these stories that they tell themselves. And I'm just curious, what are some of the stories that you hear in that are similar? You know, as you think about the different clients, there are certain threads or themes that then and I'd love for you to talk about, what are some of those? And then what are some of the maybe the questions you ask, or other comments you might make that help them see what previously they haven't been able to see.

Theresa Campbell: 00:29:03

Sure. So oftentimes, people don't know that they can actually ask for what they actually what they truly want. Oftentimes, there is this dance that is done, meaning I'm going to show up in this particular way. I'm going to do all of these things other than directly asked for what it is that I would love. And oftentimes we don't ask, and we don't receive, because we're not willing to ask. But there's something that stops us from asking for what we desire in our relationships and our career, and all these different areas of our life. If I am not willing to ask or even just have the open to listening and receiving what comes back. It's really hard for me to create anything in my life that I actually do. really desire. So oftentimes that might look like somebody who has taken on more responsibilities in the workplace, but has not asked for a compensation to match that. And then they'll be able to tell you all of the reasons why it's not a good time. And we just went through a pandemic. And they'll say all of these things that really diminish the value and who they're bringing to the table for this extra effort that they're, they're about to give to this organization. And there's often a way in which people talk about their situation, that lets me know if it's coming from a place of like, power, and confidence and like a true understanding why they are giving this as a gift, versus acquiescing into, you know, little Billy, who was never allowed to ask for more potato chips, or whatever, because he was told he was greedy, or they're afraid, they're going to come across as abrasive. So they don't, because they don't want to be perceived in a certain way. Or if you're like, oftentimes, African American male clients that I've worked with have not shown up in their power, because historically, that hasn't been well received. And they can be labeled. So there's ways in which people talk that I can hear that they're either showing up in their power or they're not. And it's often in like tonality, it's often in what I witnessed, if I'm with them in person, just how they talk about it, like their body language. So it's usually a lack of confidence from a non useful listening from their childhood, that actually made sense, and help them to get to where they are today, but does not serve them going forward.

Meredith Bell: 00:31:59

Are there specific questions that you ask in situations like that, that invite I know you are a very, you're not judgmental in any way. So you extend invitations to people. So Right. Just in terms of somebody that might want to explore their own stories, their own reasons why what may be driving them to behave certain ways today that aren't serving them? Well? What are some questions they might ask themselves?

Theresa Campbell: 00:32:34

Just that like if somebody says, I don't advocate for myself, or and I don't know why I do that, right? There's so much power, and the rhetorical questions that we ask ourselves. Like, I don't know why I do that. Anytime somebody asked a rhetorical question, I stopped them. And I say, well, that's a really good question. Why do you do that? So one quick way is if you ever catch yourself asking a rhetorical question more often than not, we just kind of move on like, yeah, I don't know why that happened there. I don't know. It's, it's like, oh, here's something to look at, if I want, right, because looking at the story behind the story is often uncomfortable. And people have a choice if they want to do that or not. So rhetorical questions, if you're asking them, answer them, because there's often gold in them. And it's, it's really kind of on a case by case basis, like, Am I willing to be radically honest with myself, because we've many people, if especially if they're listening to this podcast, or they're doing personal development, or coaching, like it can be easy to start kind of just like surface level answering questions. But before you answer any question that your coach gives you, or a book gives you, like, before you answer it, I might ask myself, Am I willing to be radically honest with myself as I answer this question, and that level of authenticity with yourself, can be really eye opening, and can help to uncover the story behind the story that were was once unconscious, that we're making conscious so it can stop directing your life in ways that you don't want it to go. So answer rhetorical questions. And then with the questions that are being offered to you, be willing to be radically honest and stop moving quickly, just to get through the assignment. I work with a lot of people who want to just get to the end. And they're not a big fan of like, you know, the I call it the messy middle. But the truth is, that's actually where transformation takes place. And we don't need to say it's messy. It's just where it's happening.

Meredith Bell: 00:34:55

Mm hmm. You know, it's such an important point we tend to want label things in some kind of negative way. And we're putting judgment on that and then saying I shouldn't think that or I shouldn't feel that way, when in fact, it's just where we are. And I think, you know, use that word resistance before. I think when we resist being where we are in the moment in whatever aspect of our human existence, we're going through at that time, the more we resist it, and try to deny or squash, the longer we stay there, because we're not really racked through it.

Theresa Campbell: 00:35:36

We're not loving it. I did work with John Patrick Morgan. And this one thing he said, just stuck with me forever. He said, what we will not be with will not let us be. So if there's any part of me that I'm unwilling to sit with and experience, like you said, is going to be a little bit of a rocky road. I was not wanting to put my coaching program on hold, like pause and tell everybody, we're taking a pause like that was that was that was pretty painful, because I thought I had a, you know, I had a plan, and this thing was figured out. And it's like, what God's taking me, it's not my plan. So it was literally like, you have created this amazing person who can plan and promise and deliver and be her word. And now like, go ahead and undo all of that, because I'm going to use you. And you're not going to run your group coaching program. And I had a lot of resistance to that. But I didn't act like I was happy about it. In my own quiet time, I had a client who sent me this necklace, it's the little golden pause button. And I was like, I will be back in 90 days with the program, it took six months. And the program was radically different. Because I was radically different from sitting down thinking I was doing nothing, even though we that's what the ego would want you to think, Oh, you're not being productive. But things were still happening, business was still being created. And I was a lot more present.

Meredith Bell: 00:37:09

You brought up something that I think is something we hear a lot in the ultimate coach community, the book, and that is about being your word. When you found it necessary to make these changes, was was that a struggle for you feeling? Like I'm not being my word. I've told these people, I'm going to do this. And now I'm Yes, this. So how how did you reconcile or work through that?

Theresa Campbell: 00:37:38

By telling the truth? Right, it was, here's what I because I kept saying, Oh, I'll have the full details at our next meeting. And I didn't have it. Because I wasn't supposed to have it. And it was like I promised at the December meeting. And in the December meeting, I played a TED Talk by David White, where he talks about the lyrical bridge between the past the present and the future. And he ends the talk basically saying, as sooner or later, we get to points where we don't know what's going to happen next. And we don't know what's going to happen after the next step. And it forces us to ask for help. Like it humbles us. And I just knew it with how my practice had changed with what was present in my life. And the pause made sense. And I cried and said, Have a great holiday. And I I'll be back in 90 days, and it was six months. So I learned this because Because what's happening over here is the unfolding of Teresa, who is in control. And who can say this is what we're going to be doing. This is how many days it's going to be this is what it's going to look like this is what you can expect out of this. It was undoing all of that. And when I came back in the summer, I said the only thing that I am being asked to do is show up and speak to all of you about what's present. That could be very helpful. I don't know. And that was another thing, because I had to know before. I didn't know what you're talking about where this thing was, I was in control. So I thought and I said, Yeah, it's called Tea Time. And we're going to run for 90 minutes. And if you'd like to be there, great. And they all showed up. And I was not excited about it. Because I was like well, what's the plan? What am I supposed to be talking about? But that's why asking and listening. So this whole experience has been like Theresa, you could ask more. You've coached all these people about asking, asking, asking and oh, by the way, in 2018 when you sat with Steve Hardison, you asked him to help you unleash the spiritual side of you. Well, why don't you spend a little bit more time with God and keep asking and receiving. And that's what I've been doing. So that was a long way of saying, this journey takes time, we need to get out on the court and play and try and fail. And you will get to points where you do not know what to do. And that's why asking and listening is so powerful, especially when you don't want to hear what you're being asked to do. I didn't want to hear any of it. But that didn't mean, I didn't go there.

Meredith Bell: 00:40:28

What allowed you to go there?

Theresa Campbell: 00:40:32

Oh, it almost was so painful I had to do it seems like there's no getting around this, it's like you will be able to do nothing until you cross this threshold. And then the first time I did it, it went really well. And then the second time I did it, and went well again. And the truth is, I've been doing this the whole time. Where there were glimpses of it. There were glimpses of me allowing, you know, God to use me. And this was like, Hey, are you all in? Get rid of your agenda? Get rid of your here's what you're gonna get. Are you all in? And then I, when I said yes to that other things were able to unfold as a result. And it was it's, it's the surrender experiments that that's it's that game. And it's like, are you willing to play that game full out? With your whole being? Who do you want to be? Who do you need to be to surrender?

Meredith Bell: 00:41:35

Yes, well, and that is such a beautiful note to kind of wrap this all up with because that's, that is what it boils down to, is recognizing. I gotta slow down here, my trying to force this to work trying to be in control. That's an illusion in itself. And so what do I need to learn, it's like to get to the next level, we have to be willing to let go of some of those beliefs at exactly a viewer's that we had been so attached to and I think that's, it's the pain of loss, you know, is the act of what was, yes, we had pain there, right? You were saying those pain that you had, and I've had that myself, when that can sometimes serve as a good motivator to kick you up towards that next level? If you're, you don't want to be in that anymore. And even though the unknown can seem kind of scary, because you don't have the plan don't have the answers. And yet, there's an excitement to it. And I love that you just use the word game, because it's been helping me so much. Instead of a task list, I now have a playlist.

Theresa Campbell: 00:42:56

Oh, I love that. So

Meredith Bell: 00:42:59

different every day, I've got my playlist, you know, and right playlist. Well, this is, you know, things I get to do today, kind of right. And it has a whole different feel to it, I bring a different energy to it, than here's my tasks, I gotta get done heaviness to that. So I think that the use of the word game is a really good and important one, because of what it can conjure up for us if we allow it. If we

Theresa Campbell: 00:43:35

allow it. And it's being willing, like I mentioned, like, I had to listen to like, the little teen angst side of me that was like, Why would you make me so organized and productive to take that? All right, like, I had to acknowledge that that voice was in there. But you're right. It's like we have to be willing to let go to play a different game like that identity served until it didn't. So now who do I get to be right? Who do I want to be? Who would I love to be in this game of surrender that I'm playing? And it's like, every day, I feel like I wake up and it's like, here's your challenge. Should you choose to accept it, right? And I can decide like, okay, yeah, I'm all in. And I know, because I've asked, so am I willing to wake up every day and say, Okay, God, what would you have me to say to this person? What would you have me to do? And every time there's resistance, I'm like, this is where we're going because there's resistance. There's something for me to learn here, about myself, about love and about life. And if I can learn, then I can really be of service because I can continue to share what it is that I'm learning. And that's all that's at least in this season, being requested of me in the highly uncomfortable season of surrender.

Meredith Bell: 00:44:56

Thank you for sharing the season.

Theresa Campbell: 00:44:59

Thanks Have you for inviting me to?

Meredith Bell: 00:45:02

Yes, are such a gift and your, the insights, the wisdom you have around asking and, and listening around unfolding versus creating around how you face and walk through storms? Oh, those are, you know, so thought provoking and helpful. I think for all of us, whether it's our, our work area or home, you know, whatever part of our lives, we're going to have these challenges and the students that come up and your, your wisdom around asking and listening is just a beautiful way to become more self aware, and aware and conscious. So that that unconscious is rising to the level of conscious and we can make better choices.

Theresa Campbell: 00:45:59

That's it. Thank you. And we can have fun along the way. So there will be much more laughter and whoever this Teresa, is that surrendering, in case you are wondering, yeah, so much more laughter I laughed before but often I would be afraid to laugh because I didn't want to offend somebody. But in the storms, it's okay to laugh and the storms because it's kind of it can be funny. It can be funny.

Meredith Bell: 00:46:24

Yeah, it depends how you look at it.

Theresa Campbell: 00:46:26

I know. I

Meredith Bell: 00:46:27

know. So Theresa, tell people how they can connect with you. Where are you on social media? And how can they learn more about the work that you're doing these days?

Theresa Campbell: 00:46:37

Sure. So on social media, I'm really only active on Facebook, as inspired, so Teresa watts, which is my maiden name Campbell on Facebook. And then you can just reach out to me through my website, which is her life, her legacy.com. If you want to connect that way, you can just shoot me a message. And we can connect. And if you'd like to join a tee time, just let me know in your message. And you'll be invited to the next one, where I show up and talk as inspired.

Meredith Bell: 00:47:10

And I can guarantee that they will get additional inspiration beyond what we covered today. Thank you, Teresa for who you are being

Theresa Campbell: 00:47:21

in the Thank you, Meredith. Thank you so much. I love you. I love your work. And thank you for letting me to share at this stage of the journey that's not exactly comfortable, but it is exciting.

Meredith Bell: 00:47:36

Well, you know, it's real. And that's what we want to bring, I think to our listeners because that's a part of the human experience is exactly deal with where we are. So you brought that beautifully today. Thank you. Thank you.