Transformative Leadership and the Power of Presence - Raghav Parkash

Speaker: 00:00:04

TUCP Intro/Outro: Amy, thank you for tuning in to The Ultimate Coach podcast, a companion to the transformative book The Ultimate Coach written by Amy Hardison and Alan D Thompson, each conversation is designed to be a powerful wake up call, reminding us of what's possible for you and your life. So if you're on a journey to expand your state of being, this podcast is for you.

Ipek Williamson: 00:00:37

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast. I'm your host, Ipek Williamson, and today we have a remarkable guest with us, Raghav Parkash. Raghav is an esteemed high performance coach and speaker with over a decade of experience guiding leaders, entrepreneurs and athletes to unlock their potential and live extraordinary lives, known for his deep work in human transformation, Raghav brings us a unique blend of spiritual psychology, NLP and coaching techniques that help individuals not only reach their goals but transform how they view and experience life. It's truly an honor to have him with us today, especially considering his profound journey with the ultimate coach community and his commitment to the philosophy of being welcome. Ragao and thank you for being with me today.

Raghav Parkash: 00:01:44

Well, thank you for having me. It's an honor to be here in conversation with you.

Ipek Williamson: 00:01:49

Oh, thank you. So I want to ask you about a story that you think might be appropriate to share with me and our audience today a story and experience from your life that has deeply impacted who you are today. This could be a story from your childhood or any point in your life where a significant event or person helped shape your path?

Raghav Parkash: 00:02:21

You know? Wow, I It's such a great question. And you know, the first thing that I'll, you know, share a story, of course, that has really served me, but I think into the who's impacted me, everyone these days I get to learn from there's so many people in the world, especially you me spend time with whether it be Steve Hardison, I've had many experiences with him. Amy Hardison, who is very, very special to me as well, and many other people in our community, outside of the community that I get fed by the most remarkable minds every day, even with the work I get to do with my clients. I feel like I don't tell them this, but I feel like they're paying me for me to learn from that. And that's how it feels. And of course, I don't tell them that, because it's not the best sales pitch. Hey, you're trying to pay me to learn from you. But I literally get educated by the most amazing clients. I suppose. If there was one story that really shaped me today. It's probably my my grandpa. He has had the biggest influence my life. He is the guy who, if you were asking me, Hey, so you could have dinner with anybody a life, past, present, future. Who would you want to have dinner with? It'd be like my grandpa treasure to have dinner with him again, and my regret was that I didn't get spent enough time with him while he was with us, and he died through cancer. But he was one of the most remarkable men that I've ever come across. And the journey he'd gone on from being an extremely wealthy man in India, such a bright mind, unfortunately, launched a business a couple of years ahead of his time, he lost all his wealth. He went from everything to nothing. He's gone on such an amazing journey. And I remember when I was younger, I was having a huge argument with my mom about something. I was having such a big argument with her. And I think one door was slammed. I threw something, and I stormed into this bedroom, really angry. And my grandpa was lying down the bed, and I thought, Oh no, he was actually next door. He heard this entire argument, thinking, what's he gonna say to me? And he says, Raghav, I wanna share something with you. I gotta say something to you. Sit down. And I sit down on the bed with him, and I'm thinking, What the heck is he going to say to me? Is he going to tell me off? Is he going to get a slipper or something like that? I'm the kid. He didn't, but is he going to do something? And I'm sitting in another bed with him, and he said, you know that conversation you have to your mom, and the way you spoke to her, I. I'm thinking, Oh my God, here it is. He goes, You argue really well, you should be a lawyer. I know my heart. I feel like I don't know what the name was. Shocked, my heart's beating, and suddenly it just relaxes.

Raghav Parkash: 00:05:16

I try not to laugh. But then I'm in shock. I'm thinking, what did he say that? He said, You argue really well, you speak well. I want you to be a lawyer. And of course, I haven't gone to the legal sector, but my granddad's words have stayed in me today, because he saw possibility in me. He saw something in me. And even today, my family walk about him a lot, and they said, rag of what he saw in you, how he loved you, and he just spoke possibility in such a beautiful way. And that's something that stays me today, and although not lawyer coach, but also passionate politics of run as a politician, of running a local council, and my plan is to go back into politics as well, and and do more to be a force that is going to shape politics for the better in the future, something that I would love. You know, I just think it is such a powerful vehicle for change, but his performance isn't being maximized, and that's something I'd love to see. So is his words have stayed with me, and just that possibility and that belief in that way he was as a person with me. It's underlined a lot of who I am today, and I think it drives me to be better in every single way, shape and form, to do honor to him, to do justice to the person he was, as he's here with me, as he watches over me, it's everything I do is driven to be the best I can and pay tribute to my my grandpa.

Ipek Williamson: 00:06:39

Wow. This is a profound story, really. Thank you so much for sharing, and I so agree with you regarding politics, we need more people like you in politics, like people who are well versed in being in passionate, loving leadership, servant leadership, yes, and I'm cheering for you, whatever you do in the in that area, especially so if I would ask you about your coming across Steve Hardison, the ultimate coach community, the book. What is your experience with that? How did you first come across with Steve with the book, and what drew you into this community? Yeah,

Raghav Parkash: 00:07:35

So what, what came to meet Steve at the beginning was when I came into the coaching industry, and I was working with a really great coach that worked with Steve Hardison, and at the time, this coach was saying to me that Raghav, I've got to tell you about this guy called Steve, I know you follow Tony Robbins, to follow all these people, and Paul McCann and all These other experts, Deepak Chopra, etc, no one I've ever met or heard of has got anything on this guy called Steve, and he was just the way he was describing him. Got me so curious, because my passion is around high performance. It's people potential. So how can I get the most out of myself and how can I help my clients get the most out of themselves as well? It's something I'm really passionate about, and as part of that, I have hunger to learn from the best of the best of the best. So you hear about this work, you hear about this guy who's hidden away. You don't know about him. He turns and opportunities to be featured on the top channels, top he doesn't want any of that, and he does what he does. Just got me so curious. So then Steve, you know, I was following Steve, and I sent him a friend request, he responded. He sent me a book back. And I was thinking, this can't be the Steve, because of who he is. This must be some AI bot thing. Is this really him? Lo and behold, it was Steve. And it'd be scary when I was doing Facebook Lives, and Steve would jump on my Facebook Live, which made me really nervous suddenly, because I was thinking, oh my gosh, it's the ultimate coach using my Facebook Live. I should say something that sounds profound, but right now, my mind has gone blank, and it's that I got into Steve's world for Facebook, and then he came to London, and he was here for a month. He was doing something with, I think, a wedding, and seeing some people in the UK. He was here with Alimi, and he said on Facebook, anyone that wants to meet me, I'm going to do an experience at this hotel in London. It's the London Marriott County Hall. And a number of people went there, but only 20 people turned up. And I don't know why, because all the others that were thinking about it missed out on such an incredible opportunity. Now I can't tell you what was said in that room. I can't remember, but all I remember is how I felt when I left and I said, there's something about this. There's something really interesting in this. And that journey, fast forward, kept me in touch with Steve and Amy and. I found out was featured in the book, which I didn't know about. And I discovered when I was reading the manuscript. And then that led me to organize the ultimate experience London with Ankush, Matt Smith Marina, Lazarus. So us four came together, plus it was Matt Smith Marina, and then me and Ankush joined the team, and then we ran the ultimate experience London, and then that led me to have a be with but Steve post that, when my eyes started really opening up to what being was like, I had an intellectual idea of it for so many years. I was coaching intellectually on it, until I had the be with experience Steve, and that has set my entire life for light. Since then, probably three, three and a half hours, three hours, whatever it was, is the best time in my life being with Steve.

Ipek Williamson: 00:10:47

I agree with you. And you know, it's so interesting that when I first met Steve was exactly like yours. And I'm I mentioned this story quite a few times. I we were challenged to get 15 no's in a week time, ask for something and get no and I thought, what can I do? I'm gonna offer my services, coaching services, to Steve Hardison. And I did. I sent him a message on Facebook, and I offered him to coach him, and I'm a new coach, can you imagine? And he got back to me, and he obviously said no, and like respectfully declined, but in the meantime, he when he got back to me, I thought, is this your assistant? Is this Steve's assistant, or is this yourself? And he said, No, it's me. I don't have anyone. I'm a team of one. And I was so surprised, just like you did, it was how, how we connected first time. So I want to ask you about this ultimate experience, London event, more, a little bit more. What was the process of creating that event? What parts are like, the best memories connected with that experience. If you think of that whole event, what comes up?

Raghav Parkash: 00:12:26

Yeah, so, I mean, it's such a such a special time, and I suppose what like how it came about was Matt spiff and Marina got the blessing from Steve to run this, and being anquist joined, because we just all formed a really great team. We all brought something special to the creation of this who worked, as you know, the magnificent ball, so to speak, and pulling itself. And it was such an incredible experience. You know, we had just a few months to pull this together. Basically, 500 people in the room raised 25,000 pounds of charity. We had Steve speak Karan Wright speak Amy. We had Alan Thompson as the MC, who was just fantastic. So the whole experience was unbelievable, pulling it together. I was so exhausted because I was like my political election four days after. So if anyone sees me in the videos, in the front row, they can see the back of my head. My shut I'm obviously so exhausted from pulling the whole thing together, but it was just the actual experience in doing it. Because to run an ultimate experience event, there's a level of commitment. It requires that people need to know what you're getting into. It's not running any event at all. I had to put my coaching practice on the back burner for a while, on pause. My, you know, partner at the time, was getting frustrated because I wasn't spending time with her. My, you know, political election, I was I had so much going on, and what it taught me is how you can create anything, and you can do with flow. I had so much going on, so many different things, 100 miles an hour, and I just surrendered. I let go. I stopped intellectually, trying to working, work it all out. And it was the most amazing experience for me to show me I can manage 100 million things in one go, if I just relax, slow down, come from flow, come from instinct. Take things one day at a time, and it can be easy. It was easy, it was fun. We got so much done in two months. Like the amount of work that went in was incredible, and it felt easy. And I felt seamless, because when you apply yourself, you can get anything done. And as I look back on that, the two highlights you spoke about, one is knowing I can do anything like in my mind today, I don't believe in impossible after doing that and all the things I followed like I still have my own journey and blocks and things that come up against we all do, but I have a deeper pathological certainty that everything's possible. It doesn't matter what it is the highest mountain I'm going to climb it, and I see that my business, that whatever I want to go and do, I feel that I can create it. Just to get them flow and let it happen. And the second was just incredible. The relationships that were built with everyone there, you know, working with uncle, she's a, you know, elder brother of mine now, and even the likes of Matt Evans Fiona, who are very dear to my heart. You know, the day the ultimate experience, London finished, it all just stops so suddenly. And I think we're all so sad, like we're all in tears, thinking, what are we going to fill our life with? Now, you know who all these sort of conversations, everything just stopped because such a great time doing it, and you're going 150 miles an hour, then when it finishes, is zero. There's no slowdown. So that was a hard void to fill, but it was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.

Ipek Williamson: 00:15:46

Thank you. And also, one thing that I am curious about, you mentioned a deep dive into being during your time with Steve Hardison, yes, from all the things that you learned from Steve, his coaching style. He everything you received from him. What is one thing that you see passing along to your clients the most, sharing them the most, and it is a became a part of your coaching process or style?

Raghav Parkash: 00:16:24

Yeah, there was so much, I mean, to drill it down to one thing. I mean, I have my favorite thing I got from the time with him, but there was just so much I got that the sheer amount and volume I run, like every year I run, I think about two hour workshop on it, just going through everything, because there's just so much stuff. There's not one thing I got. But if there was the highlight, it's really seeing that I can be whoever I want to be in any situation, in any moment. And I know that sounds small, but it was a powerful moment for me, because even when I arrived in the US to see Steve, I had an experience that was racially profiled at the airport, and that brought up a lot for me. I was angry, I was frustrated, I was hurt, I was sad, I was trying to use really nice language. I was really frustrated and angry at that time, because I'd never gone through something like that. And I, you know, I feel I've had a very privileged life as well, and I haven't experienced this before, and I couldn't imagine how bad and the people around the world have it. And I was just frustrated, you know, I was brought into a room, but only people there were Asian men, and that were Indian Pakistani from that background. And I was just frustrated, and that the only people coming off our plane again from people from these sorts of backgrounds, British Indians, British Asians, Asians around the world. And I was carrying a lot of anger into my call with Steve, into my session with Steve at the time, and see we're just talking about this idea if you can be whoever you want to be. And there's a longer version of this with a short version of it this. He was just talking about this to me, and something in my head went off and sort of got to sheds with Steve. I have to have to talk to him about this experience. I share this experience with him, and just in a matter of minutes, he helped me see that everyone is acting from their highest self. And then there's a longer version of this. So without going into all of that, because that's where the power is, the short version is that he said everyone's operating at the highest self, like everyone is doing the best they can. Everyone is being the best they can. All the people who are racially profiling, you think they're protecting their country, they're putting food on the table for their kids. He said, rag if I could, I could see that, I could acknowledge that I could feel my heart. I can feel what I go through, and I can choose to love these people as deeply as I can, because I get to decide who I'm going to be. I can, I can respond in anywhere, like in this moment. And he said that to me because he knew I was ready to hear that like I know be showing the story to edgy for me, because I have been frustrated by racial oppression and gaslighting around the world. And by no means am I saying that is what you have to do, ignore what you're going through more. But there's a conscious way of being that you can be, which is whatever I go through, I get to decide the person I'm going to be and the person I'm going to be is what dictates my experience of the world. And I've got that in such a deep way that things outside of me don't need to affect me like this. Like I have a certain power that in the face of someone doing something, I can acknowledge it, but I get to create myself. I get to create myself as an entrepreneur, as a partner, as a son, as a leader. That what I got from that story isn't that, oh, you should let people off the hook. That's not the point. The point is you have agency in being. The person you want to be that's not made up. It's not outside of you. It's not something outside of your control. You're not a fixed object. You get to be the person you want to be. You go to shape that. You get to decide it. You get to create it. And it may not sound profound, but seeing that on a deeper level rocks your world, because the entire world is there just as a playground for you now to decide how you want to be in the world. And that was everything for me. Everything to me, that one insight. And I remember talking to Amy Hardison about softer and she said, what's the one insight you got? And I told about this, and it was really special. And today it's it stays with me. It's one of my favorite things to go back and reflect on that is so enriching.

Ipek Williamson: 00:20:44

What a beautiful, beautiful story. And you mentioned leadership, so I want to switch gears and go toward that direction a little bit. As someone who works with high level leaders, what do you see as the biggest misconceptions about leadership today?

Raghav Parkash: 00:21:07

I think the first thing, and it's funny, because talking to a friend about this, and I think the first thing to recognize is that, you know, leaders are people. They're human beings. All leaders around the world of human beings, and we all dealt with the very similar set of cards. And we all go through the same, same things we do in any space of leadership, you know, just during the period of covid, I think LinkedIn. So that 52% of C suite leaders across the entire Europe question their ability. So what that, what I take from that is leadership is about vulnerability versus having it all together. Honesty instead of pretending like you've got to fake it till you make it. I don't believe in faking faking it to be naked. I think you know, really being in love with reality and love with all what is recognizing that there is a task in front of us, and there is uncertainty, there is the unknown that we're going to figure this out together, the kindness of slowing down the presence. I think with leadership, there's this idea that you have to have it all figured out. You have to have all the competencies you have to and that's largely where imposter syndrome comes from, where people are in questioning based on the high expectations they've got. But the best leaders that I've ever come across are just the best human beings because they embrace the humanity side of them, which enriches them as leaders. So I think the biggest misconception I see with any clients I coach, anyone I work with, anyone who's stepping to that point of high leadership, is, do I need to be something other than what I am now? And when you have this knowing that, what if I'm exactly what I need to be? Yes, I'm going to strengthen skills. Yes, I'm going to develop Yes, I'm going to learn how to do things efficiently. But what if, as a person, I'm everything I need to be anymore? I think that one insight is a game changer.

Ipek Williamson: 00:22:57

Absolutely. I so agree with you. And during our first initial call, you mentioned something that stayed with me. Actually. You said leaders are often more human than we expect. Yes, and I so loved that statement, and like you explained it beautifully. Now, thank you. If I would ask you, what excites you the most about your current projects and what are you looking forward to creating in the near future? What would you say to me?

Raghav Parkash: 00:23:33

Yeah, it's a really interesting question. I think what, what gets me really excited is the opportunity to serve and the opportunity to make a difference, to make an impact. That the one thing all my clients have in common with, everyone that I work with, anyone I come across, that they want to serve the world richly. You know, they want to they want to do something to serve humanity. There's a client I've got who wants to also change politics from a different point of view. There's a client I've got who is empowering people with the right financial education, the sort of stuff that we wish we had when we were younger, about how to save, how to invest, how to manage your money, the importance of how to use credit cards properly, all these basic things that he's going to share with the world, and he's giving all this weight for free. So he's changing the financial landscape, and where clients in dentistry are changing the landscape. I've seen the legal sector. I've seen across the world, a lot of the clients I work with, yes, they come to a coach because they want to be better, they want to be more successful, but they're driving innovation and change. These are ideas that if you can put out into the world, would change humanity for the better. So that's what I'm excited about. So I get to do this is my clients, and I really feel I've got the most amazing job on the planet that I get to sit with geniuses and listen to their ideas and watch how they want to help the world embrace the possibilities at hand right now, and that's what takes me into the future with what I want to do with my coaching practice. Businesses that I want to launch, that I'm working on right now with my political journey, in whatever way shape that takes, I want to work with as many brilliant minds I can. To take something like government and parliament, which governs every decision that we almost have to interact with on day to day basis about our lives, is to take this, this entity we call government, and to turn it into the highest performing machine that we can that serves and touches and empowers the public in the most amazing way possible, because it's got so much potential. So this is me as a coach thinking, Yes, politician, I want to approach it as a coaching point of view. How can we make this even more high impact, and that's what inspires me, that I want to use every second of my life, harnessing every ounce of my potential, so that by the time my lap of this planet is done, I can feel I've used every single ounce of everything given to me, everything I've been lucky with, everything I've been Blessed with, everything I've come across learned had all the gifts that I've been given, I want to use it to my highest capabilities. That's what inspires me.

Ipek Williamson: 00:26:09

Wow. Well, the listeners that cannot see my face, but I have a big smile on my face listening to you saying all this. No, thank you, and I so agree with you. When we coaches work with one client, I always see it like we are not coaching one person. We are coaching a village, because that work one's work on themselves impacts everyone around them in a positive way, their family members, their friends, their colleagues, anyone and everyone and even the cashier they come across with during their shopping trip, because coaching changes the being side of the human so I so agree with everything you said, and I'm really seriously cheering for you in especially the political arena, and I'm I'm hoping that you get where you Want to get, because we really need many more people like you in that area. So Raghav, now it's time for me to ask you a question that I ask everyone. It is which one of the questions in the before you begin section of the book, or on the back of the book, you see is the one you need to focus on at this moment in time in your life.

Raghav Parkash: 00:27:47

Yeah, you know, I think out of all the questions, the one that I'm drawn towards all the time, because it's linked to everything, is who would I need to be so that daily miracles show up in my life, so that I experienced daily miracles in my life. It's a variation of that, because what I've learned is it's always about who I'm being. If I want miracles to be my life, there's where I need to be for others, there's where I need to serve the world. And every time I reflect on the question, it draws something so special through me.

Ipek Williamson: 00:28:20

Yeah, the word miracle is a magical word, word to me, and I so love that word. And yeah, it's a beautiful choice. And now I'm gonna ask you three rapid fire questions. Okay? One, what is one daily habit you cannot live without.

Raghav Parkash: 00:28:45

It would be that would be speaking my document. So I go out in the morning, every morning to speak my document. And it's not just the speaking of my document. It's a it's a prayer. It's my daily prayer. That's what my document is to me. It's real, it's alive, it's it's doing that at least in the morning.

Ipek Williamson: 00:29:03

Okaym at least one sentence from your document, would you share it with us?

Raghav Parkash: 00:29:09

Absolutely. It's the first line in my document, which is, I'm in love with what is always

Ipek Williamson: 00:29:14

Oh, wow, that's profound, beautiful. Thank you. And the second question is, if you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be

Raghav Parkash: 00:29:27

If I could describe myself in one center, one word, one word, I would use the word committed. That's the one first one that comes to me, commitment. Committed

Ipek Williamson: 00:29:37

Slowly. And the third question is, what is the best piece of advice you've ever received?

Raghav Parkash: 00:29:46

The best piece of advice ever received? I want to go back to what Steve taught me, that you get to decide who you get to be. Those words I think are going to reverberate with me for the rest of my life.

Ipek Williamson: 00:29:59

I. Okay. Thank you so much. And I want to ask you what would be a message you would like to leave our audience with

Raghav Parkash: 00:30:10

Message that, and I suppose this goes into life advice. It comes from the late Steve Jobs. In fact, he would always talk about this concept called the dots connecting. And for a while, because I love Steve Jobs, I never quite understood the concept of the DOS Connect. But as I studied it more, it's really profound, where he talks about how you can never connect the dots looking forward, you got to connect the dots looking backwards, recognizing that things have a way of always working out. Things have a way of coming together. Things have a way of completing even when you don't know how things are going to happen. And the more I relax, the my surrender, the more I'm at ease, the faster and better and richer that happens. So our message is that wherever you are, however, well, things are working and not working right now, things always have a way of coming together. And the more we relax and surrender, down the line, you can see how things will work out,

Ipek Williamson: 00:31:04

Beautiful. And if our audience anyone would like to reach out to you, how can they reach you?

Raghav Parkash: 00:31:14

I'm on Facebook, and I use Facebook, LinkedIn, even my website, RaghavParkash.com, those are the three ways recommend they can reach out to me, drop a message. Always very friendly, and I love connecting with anyone from our community.

Ipek Williamson: 00:31:29

Thank you so much for being with us today, Raghav, and sharing your journey with our listeners. The depth and sincerity with which you approach your work are truly inspiring, and it's been an honor to hear your story. For those of you who want to connect with Raghav or learn more about his work, we have included all the necessary information in the Episode Notes too, until next time, remember to embrace the power of being and continue to strive for greatness. Thank you again, and have a lovely day.

Ipek Williamson: 00:32:11

TUCP Intro/Outro: Thank you for joining us today. If there's someone you know who could benefit from this conversation, please share this episode with them. Also check out our website, being movement.com, you'll find valuable resources and links to connect to an engaging and wonderfully supportive community. Together, we can inspire and support each other on the path to a greater understanding of being until next time, take care and be kind to yourself you.